Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst ... 23456 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 56

Thread: Just need some brutal honesty as im not coping well!

  1. #41
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,976
    Think about your child being exposed to a druggie. Maybe that will get you to snap out of it.

    I'm ready for your long paragraph of excuses and minimizing!

  2. #42
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    24
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Think about your child being exposed to a druggie. Maybe that will get you to snap out of it.

    I'm ready for your long paragraph of excuses and minimizing!
    No i agree with you, you're right and as i said previous i have told her once this business is dealt with, we will be blocking each other on WhatsApp too. She has asked for me not too until after my birthday, but cant see the point in that! My previous message was more me ranting/venting as to why she would unblock me and say all that stuff too me, i have no idea what she hopes to gain from it!

  3. #43
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,846
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by DQD
    No i agree with you, you're right and as i said previous i have told her once this business is dealt with, we will be blocking each other on WhatsApp too. She has asked for me not too until after my birthday, but cant see the point in that! My previous message was more me ranting/venting as to why she would unblock me and say all that stuff too me, i have no idea what she hopes to gain from it!
    She doesn't hope, she already gained - she is firmly in your head, on your radar, has you wondering, thinking, guessing what she is up to regarding your b-day. Winning at mind fck'ing you and keeping you hooked on her.

    You don't need to stay in touch or chit chat in order to remove her from your phone plan. All you need to do is go to your provider and remove. Text her that it will be done on Monday and she needs to get her own phone/plan now. She is an ADULT and you need to start seeing that. She is perfectly capable of managing her life. The whining and bs is just that - cheaper to continue to use and manipulate you than to actually go get her own phone/plan.

    Stop making excuses and start taking action. Get your phone changed and cut all contact. Most successful approach is actually quitting addiction cold turkey and this woman is very much your addiction. Please don't make excuses that well...sometimes you don't have sex. Well...duh...of course not. It doesn't change the fact that you are thinking with your lower half.

  4. #44
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    24
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    She doesn't hope, she already gained - she is firmly in your head, on your radar, has you wondering, thinking, guessing what she is up to regarding your b-day. Winning at mind fck'ing you and keeping you hooked on her.

    You don't need to stay in touch or chit chat in order to remove her from your phone plan. All you need to do is go to your provider and remove. Text her that it will be done on Monday and she needs to get her own phone/plan now. She is an ADULT and you need to start seeing that. She is perfectly capable of managing her life. The whining and bs is just that - cheaper to continue to use and manipulate you than to actually go get her own phone/plan.

    Stop making excuses and start taking action. Get your phone changed and cut all contact. Most successful approach is actually quitting addiction cold turkey and this woman is very much your addiction. Please don't make excuses that well...sometimes you don't have sex. Well...duh...of course not. It doesn't change the fact that you are thinking with your lower half.
    Thank you for the straight talking again DancingFool! Reference the phone thing, she was listed on my employee advantage scheme so she got 15% discount on her phone bill each month. It doesn't cost me anything at all for her to be on it so have no dramas with it being on there, there is no need for any interaction, her number just sits there with no interaction from me nor is it visible to me on my bills.

    I see your first point, i guess i just didn't think she would be the kind of woman who would actively want to twist the knife she stuck me with but i guess you never really know someone until you go through the grinder with them!

  5.  

  6. #45
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,976
    Originally Posted by DQD
    No i agree with you, you're right and as i said previous i have told her once this business is dealt with, we will be blocking each other on WhatsApp too. She has asked for me not too until after my birthday, but cant see the point in that! My previous message was more me ranting/venting as to why she would unblock me and say all that stuff too me, i have no idea what she hopes to gain from it!
    $$$ That's what she hopes to gain. Plus she knows you're totally addicted to her and you'll cling to any excuse to keep in contact with her and to see her.

    Prove her wrong. Prove that your child means more than booty with a hot woman who uses drugs. Block her right now.

    You know, it might surprise you to know there are hundreds of attractive women who don't abuse illegal substances and who are lovely and fun to be around. Yes, really!

  7. #46
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    24
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    $$$ That's what she hopes to gain. Plus she knows you're totally addicted to her and you'll cling to any excuse to keep in contact with her and to see her.

    Prove her wrong. Prove that your child means more than booty with a hot woman who uses drugs. Block her right now.

    You know, it might surprise you to know there are hundreds of attractive women who don't abuse illegal substances and who are lovely and fun to be around. Yes, really!
    I think im slowly getting wiser as that's my first impression when she messaged me, was dumbfounded but as you say better women out there and i need to work on my own self worth first to maybe elevate my standards before getting with anyone else!

    Clearly need to get better at spotting warning signs as well as acknowledging red flags and not trying to work past them!

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,717
    DQD

    You really don't see the forest for the trees.

    All of her actions are self serving. but they are also cloaked, in benefits to you, to disguise her motives.

    Golly, she sure hopes you don't block her before your birthday! maybe she & her exes will have a party for you.. Let's face it, you sleep with dogs, you wake up with fleas

    What the heck! After all she's done, your birthday should be completely off limits.

    I would tell her the phone will be shut off from your plan...at the end of this billing cycle. She has until then to figure it out.

    It makes no difference that it doesnt cost you anything to share the discount. You are NOT just one more man from her past paying her way helping her out.

    Believe me, NO WOMAN IN HER RIGHT MIND is going to tolerate you allowing some woman, from your past being on your bill. Giant red flag.

    Don't be a chump. of course she is waxing poetically about how she was thinking of you. Her phone bill is about to go up.

    I miss you, too. Can i get on that plan? Doesn't cost you anything

  9. #48
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,846
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by DQD
    Thank you for the straight talking again DancingFool! Reference the phone thing, she was listed on my employee advantage scheme so she got 15% discount on her phone bill each month. It doesn't cost me anything at all for her to be on it so have no dramas with it being on there, there is no need for any interaction, her number just sits there with no interaction from me nor is it visible to me on my bills.

    I see your first point, i guess i just didn't think she would be the kind of woman who would actively want to twist the knife she stuck me with but i guess you never really know someone until you go through the grinder with them!
    Is she an employee? No. It doesn't matter if it doesn't cost you anything or that you don't have to look. What matters is that this is still a psychological string that is keeping you connected and it needs to be cut off. You need to remove her and do it to empower yourself. Literally cut that string and let go. Also, block and delete. No more.

    Also, she isn't twisting any knives, she is simply setting things up to keep using you. Basically, to bring you back into her rotating stable of "captain-save-a-ho". Her ex isn't her ex and she won't leave you alone either, unless you find the proverbial balls to cut her out. It's not that she cares, she doesn't, it's that you are useful and you've showed her that you can very much be used and manipulated. People like her don't let that go. You are the one who has to. Otherwise she'll mess with you, use you, and keep stringing you along for life. YOU have to cut her off. Parasites never leave their host unless evicted and she is a human parasite. Don't confuse her temporarily dumping you with leaving - her hooks are still in you. You know this and that's why you are here asking for an arse kicking.

    You are totally right that you need to work on your self esteem and your picker. You didn't just ignore a few small things, you ignored flashing neon signs smacking you in the face and willfully so. So many attractive women who have their life together, who are genuine, nice, kind, etc., When you pick an addict instead, thinking you'll fix her and be her hero...you aren't looking for a healthy relationship, you are looking to prop up your own low self worth. Figure that one out and I think you'll look back on this and wonder just as we are - wth was wrong with you back then.... It will seem like some kind of a bad dream that you are happy to be out of instead of all this heartache. It won't be painful or confusing anymore. You'll just be glad you are out and at peace.

  10. #49
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,976
    Use your desire to rescue and save to encourage and support your daughter instead.

    Yes, I'm sure you already do. I would imagine you are a good father. But this woman is distracting you from that. You're all worked up because she's hot, so much so that you can't even see what's right in front of you.

    Think about this...is this woman a role model for how you'd like your daughter to be when she's an adult?

  11. #50
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    56
    Posts
    7,982
    Gender
    Male
    I won't pile on.

    Read your first post on this and then think about how far in understanding you have come in mere days.

    Wanting to do something and actually doing it are way different.

    Get some action going on what you need right now to make your life better now that is out of it. Like the line from the movie goes "Get busy living or get busy dying" There are all kinds of addictions but none of them are good for you.

    I think you are doing well and taking the constructive criticism better than I expected you too.

    Keep moving forward and try to stop looking back...

    Lost

Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst ... 23456 LastLast

Videos


Most Women Rather Not Date Unemployed Men

Why Young People Don't Rush To Marry? They Fear Divorce

Why People Lie On Online Dating Services?

Relationships During Quarantine

Cheating Husbands Are at Risk of a Heart Attack

Romance At Work: Yes Or No?
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •