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Thread: Sharing my crush story with you

  1. #1

    Sharing my crush story with you

    At my work place, there is a guy with whom I am in love. We never met face to face. But I often see him online during our work group meetings.

    During our online group meeting, I fix his screen all along. I love his eyes. He looks very soft and kind. He is like my dream comes true. But in reality, I don't strictly know anything about him.

    I imagine myself loving him for the rest of my life. And imagine him taking care of me for the rest of his life. I see us married, passionate, and happy.

    I can't figure out how will I do, the day this online meeting will end up, that I will finally meet him in person.
    I am afraid that he can guess easily what I am feeling. I am scared that the other poeple could guess it too.

    I think that when this day will happen, I will run away from him. I will avoid all physical intercation with him. Because I am so afraid of being ridiculous as we are all adults in our 30. And especially that he is younger than me. Also, I am divorced with young children. And we are very diffirent. He is a white American and me a mixed black-Asian.

    I am happy to share this crazy fantaisy tale that is happening in my head. I really hope that I could be moving forward to change my mind and stop this feeling as this sounds very stupid.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    You clearly are not in love with him as you know nothing about him.
    Stop with the fantasy because that is clearly interfering with your work productivity.

    What is lacking in your real life that lends you to fantasising?

  3. #3
    Thank you Billie for your quick response and your question. I think that I am lacking a lot of things. I am far away from home, have any close friends, have any family. And my children, who are my own family are not yet with me, the time I get well settled in this new city. Also, at the bottom of my heart, I really wish to find love and build up a real family.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    This is not love, it's infatuation with some guy you dont know and have never met. I assume you are lonely so you have fixated on this guy as some dream Romeo that you want.

    I urge you to work on finding someone in your own area who you can actually see and be with, tho it will be hard with this damn covid messing everything up. Do you have to interact with him in order to do your job? If you do not, then you need to stop looking at him and lusting after him. It's so not healthy.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Enjoy the fantasy/crush. It's like a crush on a movie star. However act professional at video-conferences and if you meet in person. Get on some dating apps if you are lonely or ready to date.
    Originally Posted by LilieRose
    I am happy to share this crazy fantaisy tale that is happening in my head.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LilieRose
    Thank you Billie for your quick response and your question. I think that I am lacking a lot of things. I am far away from home, have any close friends, have any family. And my children, who are my own family are not yet with me, the time I get well settled in this new city. Also, at the bottom of my heart, I really wish to find love and build up a real family.
    It's painful to lose family or miss them. I'd use this work crush like an indicator of where you are at in this journey of life.

    A marriage didn't work out and that can be traumatic for anyone. Not having your kids with you, possibly a grounding force, leaves you with a lot of time and energy to try and envision a new life. I think this is the start of a new life and it could be wonderful and beautiful for you and all the things you would hope for but it's better to remain professional and realistic when it comes to your work.

    There will be a time and place for you to eventually meet someone and fall in love again but I don't think this is it. If you have to meet this person in real life, treat him as a colleague. If you know you have to meet with him in person and work with him, I think you are better off diverting your thoughts and energies. The playtime is over, so to speak (fun while it lasted), but you might function a little better for work if you redirected your thoughts. That crush might not go away instantly but if you don't feed those thoughts in your head, they won't grow either.

  8. #7
    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    This is not love, it's infatuation with some guy you dont know and have never met. I assume you are lonely so you have fixated on this guy as some dream Romeo that you want.

    ---> Thanks for saying it out lout ;)

    I urge you to work on finding someone in your own area who you can actually see and be with, tho it will be hard with this damn covid messing everything up. Do you have to interact with him in order to do your job? If you do not, then you need to stop looking at him and lusting after him. It's so not healthy.
    ---> In reality, I am not at all ready to be ( to date) with someone. Fortunately, we don't have to work together, just attending meeting together.

  9. #8
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Enjoy the fantasy/crush. It's like a crush on a movie star. However act professional at video-conferences and if you meet in person. Get on some dating apps if you are lonely or ready to date.
    Thank you, but I am not interested in dating apps and not at all ready to date.

  10. #9
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    It's painful to lose family or miss them. I'd use this work crush like an indicator of where you are at in this journey of life.

    A marriage didn't work out and that can be traumatic for anyone. Not having your kids with you, possibly a grounding force, leaves you with a lot of time and energy to try and envision a new life. I think this is the start of a new life and it could be wonderful and beautiful for you and all the things you would hope for but it's better to remain professional and realistic when it comes to your work.

    There will be a time and place for you to eventually meet someone and fall in love again but I don't think this is it. If you have to meet this person in real life, treat him as a colleague. If you know you have to meet with him in person and work with him, I think you are better off diverting your thoughts and energies. The playtime is over, so to speak (fun while it lasted), but you might function a little better for work if you redirected your thoughts. That crush might not go away instantly but if you don't feed those thoughts in your head, they won't grow either.
    I LOVE THIS: if you don't feed those thoughts in your head, they won't grow either. GONNA PRACTICE IT. Thanks

  11. #10
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LilieRose
    I am far away from home,. And my children, who are my own family are not yet with me, .
    Why are you far away from home without your children? When was the last time you saw your children? Who are they living with? Sorry for all the questions, just trying to get a better picture of what's going on.

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