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Thread: Iím in love with my best friend

  1. #11
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lovesux189
    She is actually the one that suggested the trip. We planned to go to Vermont together 2 weeks ago, but she wasnít able to because of her mom. I have been quarantining with a large group of friends and her with just her family, so I understand the hesitation. We were both very upset that we couldnít see each other, which led her to suggest going on a trip together, I never brought the idea up
    So what? It doesn't mean that she thinks it will be something other than platonic. You've been just friends for years and don't be surprised if she expects just that from you and nothing else.

  2. #12
    Thanks for the brutal honesty. Just a very confused guy trying to navigate a very tough and confusing situation.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Blue68's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lovesux189
    She is actually the one that suggested the trip. We planned to go to Vermont together 2 weeks ago, but she wasnít able to because of her mom. I have been quarantining with a large group of friends and her with just her family, so I understand the hesitation. We were both very upset that we couldnít see each other, which led her to suggest going on a trip together, I never brought the idea up
    Her mindset still might have been as friends seeing as you have been friends for so long.

    Try to relax a bit. Plan your trip - but don't have any expectations - or let her know you have any expectations.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Go with the flow. If you sense that she only wants to be friends with you and nothing more, then continue this mindset. Back off and give her time and space.

    Follow her cue.

    If you want a relationship with her and you're sensing her distance and frostiness towards you, I'd cancel the trip altogether because you will definitely feel awkward and she will, too.

    Traveling together will be too much togetherness and people have short tempers when too much familiarity breeds contempt.

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  6. #15
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    My feeling is that youíre a surrogate boyfriend of sorts until she meets someone she wants to date.

    Sheís fine doing couple-ish things together without the romance because she enjoys your companionship - but doesnít want to take it further. Hence the distant vibe youíre getting. Either that or sheís met someone and isnít sure yet if sheís going to pursue it, so she hasnít yet mentioned it to you.

  7. #16
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Blue68
    Her mindset still might have been as friends seeing as you have been friends for so long.

    Try to relax a bit. Plan your trip - but don't have any expectations - or let her know you have any expectations
    .
    I second this post. I get the impression you're expecting the trip to end in hot romance as, dare I say, I sense you're really lusting after her (lol). She on the other hand, is seeing this as a friends road trip - NO romance involved. Be very careful and don't overstep the mark - it will end in you getting hurt.

  8. #17
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    She has undeniably told you she is not interested in a romantic relationship with you.
    You NEED to accept this.

    She loosely said a reason was not wanting to ruin a friendship , but it was a way of letting you down gently while trying to preserve the platonic friendship.

    Her backing off is likely because she knows you havenít accepted that she is not interested in you romantically and wants you to start realising it , otherwise she will cancel the road trip.

    There is always a risk in telling a friend you have feelings.
    If itís mutual , great.
    But when itís not like in your case , the friendship starts itís demise.

    Sorry she didnít nor doesnít feel the same way.
    That will never change but now that she is aware the friendship can no longer continue.
    Thatís why the bickering lately.

  9. #18
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    Honestly, i would cancel the trip.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    She's just a mirage. You mind is playing tricks on you, and what you think you see isn't there. She made it pretty clear she isn't into you.

    Think of it this way...if she were a guy would you plan or accept going on a trip to Vermont? Probably not something a bro would do. Basketball game? ya sure. So stop doing the coupley thing, and treat her like you would a male friend.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. This is going to be Heartbreak Motel because she is thinking "Thelma and Louise" and you are thinking "Something Wild".
    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    I get the impression you're expecting the trip to end in hot romance as, dare I say, I sense you're really lusting after her (lol). She on the other hand, is seeing this as a friends road trip - NO romance involved. Be very careful and don't overstep the mark - it will end in you getting hurt.

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