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Thread: Not sure what to do, itís becoming suffocating

  1. #1

    Not sure what to do, itís becoming suffocating

    My ex boyfriend (we split in February) is still trying to stay in contact with me - we had a very toxic relationship as he was often lying and hiding things from me. I found it difficult to let go as he was saying comments to me like ďif you walk away, there is no point me being here anymoreĒ which put an awful amount of strain on my mental health. However 3 weeks ago I decided to send a message letting him know that I couldnít support him anymore as I need to look after my own mental health now. He didnít understand this. He thinks Iím being selfish. However now heís getting really suffocating, messaging me 50+ times a day, monitoring how often Iím online on whatsapp and asking me if Iím speaking to someone every time I am. Iíve blocked him on Instagram however he has told me heís set up a new account (which I donít know the name of) to check who I follow (Iím on private so he counts the numbers), he does this many times a day, and if he sees any numbers go up he constantly asks if Iím following any new guys or what picture I have uploaded. Iíve also seen him visit my town (20+ miles away from his home). Heís asked me to see him when heís here but I refuse as it wonít help the situation. He told me heís going to try over 100 times until I give in.
    I feel like I canít live my life, I feel like I canít breathe. I donít know what to do. I feel like a social media detox would help but itís a shame I have to stop these things just because of him. Any advice please 😞

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Please notify law enforcement. Also notify your family.

    And don't fall into the trap of not wanting to "hurt" him or cause him trouble. HE caused himself trouble with his disturbing behavior.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Block him on What's App also.

    And follow Bolt's suggestion: let someone in your family know, and let authorities know. It would be wise to get this on record in the event he escalates his behaviour, which seems a real possibility.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    First tell him you no longer wants to contact him in any ways and more importantly, tell him that if he continue to contact you or try to come to your house you will not hesitate to call the police on him to have his name filed for harassement.
    Don't be nice about the way you say it. Just send him that message and immediately after block him in all social media including whatsapp. (Don't wait for his answer).
    Set your social media on private.
    Tell your friends and family so they don't answer his calls.
    You also have to work hard so you don't care what he think about you and don't feel respinsible for his well being.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Stop chitchatting with him and entertaining his stalking, threats and nonsense. You need to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media, contact lists and messaging apps. What he's doing is manipulative and abusive.

    If after blocking this persists, then get a restraining order. No one can help you if you willingly chitchat with him and refuse to take the delete and block measures. His escalating should be a red flag for you.

    My advice about this guy/situation remains the same: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by daniellejade
    heís getting really suffocating, messaging me 50+ times a day, monitoring how often Iím online on whatsapp and asking me if Iím speaking to someone every time I am. Iíve blocked him on Instagram however he has told me heís set up a new account. Iíve also seen him visit my town (20+ miles away from his home).

  7. #6
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Sorry to sound blunt, but if it bothers you to this extent you'll find a solution, if not, you'll find an excuse. Block him, notify the authorities and you've done your part with no regrets. At this point he obviously feels he has you over a barrel and it's working.

    Why not prove him wrong?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Ontario Canada
    Block and delete this guy from your phone and ALL social media. Get a new phone #. You can stop this if you really want to by blocking and deleting. Do not ever contact him on your own accord.

    Tell family, tell the police. Get people on your side.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    He sounds narcissistic to me.
    Someone like him doesnít care if attention he gets is positive or negative.
    So any attention you give him will keep him wanting more.

    The only way to silence him is to be silent.
    And the best way to do that is to simply block him.

    Every time you get a new follower request on insta whether male or female that you donít know , block.

    He has zero interest in you , just the attention he might get from you.

    You owe him nothing but silence.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Blue68's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    If he really cared about you more than himself then he would care about your mental health in the same way he expects you to care about his. This is a one-way street and he wants it to go his way. The only way to stop it is to ignore him.


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