Should I call back?.....

I met a girl on a dating app. The conversation was going well, so I gave her my number and told her to shoot me a text because I wasn’t on the app very often. She contacted me later that evening, but it was late, so I told her that I would just call her the next day. She told me that she would love that, and that she got off of work at 5. I told her I’d give her a call around that time and she said “sounds good.” The next day I called her at 6 (yesterday) she didn’t answer.. I didn’t leave a voicemail or anything... should I just wait to hear back from her, or swing her a text today letting her know I called?.....

Yes. You told her you would call, so call her.

Yes. You told her you would call, so call her.

I did call her.. she didn’t pick up.. I said that in my post

I did call her.. she didn’t pick up.. I said that in my post

 

Makes no difference. Call her. If not it looks like you're playing games. She was expecting your call at 5 like YOU said. Then you call an hour later. She probably thought you weren't interested.

I don’t get why people decide to take a conversation off the app and give an alternative method of communicating by saying they don’t use the app often.

 

That’s an underhand way of getting someone’s number.

 

Why would you not politely ask if you can exchange numbers and take the conversation away from the app??

Give her the option rather than an ultimatum of sorts?

 

She took the bait and contacted you.

But you decided wasn’t a good time for you and would contact her.

That’s the beauty of chatting via an app. There is no time constraint.

 

Have you been on the app since??

If you had sufficient interest to get to know her you would be on the app often in order to get to know her better.

Regardless of past online activity.

 

You basically tested her interest . She responded. She most likely knows you called.

 

It’s really up to you where you go from here?

 

If you log onto the app , she will know and call your bluff?

Makes no difference. Call her. If not it looks like you're playing games. She was expecting your call at 5 like YOU said. Then you call an hour later. She probably thought you weren't interested.

wait.. lemme get this straight... I call her, and she doesn’t answer the phone... if I don’t call her again, it looks like IM playing games?.... maybe I came to the wrong forum for advise lol

wait.. lemme get this straight... I call her, and she doesn’t answer the phone... if I don’t call her again, it looks like IM playing games?.... maybe I came to the wrong forum for advise lol

 

Are you usually this aggro in real life too?

 

I notice this seems to be a very common theme in all your threads - always questioning if you should call etc etc. You've had hundreds of replies with really good, constructive advice but for some reason you don't like what you hear. I suspect this one will go in circles too?

I don’t get why people decide to take a conversation off the app and give an alternative method of communicating by saying they don’t use the app often.

 

That’s an underhand way of getting someone’s number.

 

Why would you not politely ask if you can exchange numbers and take the conversation away from the app??

Give her the option rather than an ultimatum of sorts?

 

She took the bait and contacted you.

But you decided wasn’t a good time for you and would contact her.

That’s the beauty of chatting via an app. There is no time constraint.

 

Have you been on the app since??

If you had sufficient interest to get to know her you would be on the app often in order to get to know her better.

Regardless of past online activity.

 

You basically tested her interest . She responded. She most likely knows you called.

 

It’s really up to you where you go from here?

 

If you log onto the app , she will know and call your bluff?

 

I second this.

Are you usually this aggro in real life too?

 

I notice this seems to be a very common theme in all your threads - always questioning if you should call etc etc. You've had hundreds of replies with really good, constructive advice but for some reason you don't like what you hear. I suspect this one will go in circles too?

aggro? I can be 😊..my question to you is... how does that look like I’m playing games? I’ve looked at similar questions from another people... I’ve never heard anyone say.... “ if you don’t txt/or call her again it looks like your playing games”... so I’m just curious..

Are you usually this aggro in real life too?

 

I notice this seems to be a very common theme in all your threads - always questioning if you should call etc etc. You've had hundreds of replies with really good, constructive advice but for some reason you don't like what you hear. I suspect this one will go in circles too?

aggro? I can be 😊..my question to you is... how does that look like I’m playing games? I’ve looked at similar questions from another people... I’ve never heard anyone say.... “ if you don’t txt/or call her again it looks like your playing games”... so I’m just curious.. trying to understand your logic

OP, with all due respect, you asked a really simple question: "Should I call back?". My vote went for a simple "yes". Others may disagree and say no. It really shouldn't be that difficult. If you really like her, go with your gut. Call her. If you don't really feel it, then don't.

wait.. lemme get this straight... I call her, and she doesn’t answer the phone... if I don’t call her again, it looks like IM playing games?.... maybe I came to the wrong forum for advise lol

 

Well clearly you are wondering if she is playing games simply because she didn’t pick up when you called ?

 

Since you think that then don’t call her back.

 

You started this game playing by telling her you are not on the app often. Dropping the ball in her court. She responded. But not at a time that was agreeable to you. So you offer to call another time. She doesn’t pick up!? She may or may not have noticed you called depending on her phone signal. But still , you said you would contact her. So contact her!

 

And if you are interested then you won’t have visited the app you told her you rarely use.

If you have visited it , then prepare for the fact that she might know and therefore have no reason to trust you or answer your call?

 

Why are you stressing about calling her? What have you got to lose? Or gain?

At the very least you should send her a message asking if she missed your call. This is no reason to drop communication with her.

 

Can I ask if the situation has progressed since the initial post sixers fan?

I'd text her saying that I've called her and asking when is a good time for her to call again.

I swear.. some of you guys don’t read.. I mentioned in my post that I CALLED HER, but she didn’t pick up.. I don’t understand why some of you guys keep saying...“you said you would call her, so call her”... and for others commenting on how I use my app.. that has nothing to do with my question.

At the very least you should send her a message asking if she missed your call. This is no reason to drop communication with her.

 

Can I ask if the situation has progressed since the initial post sixers fan?

the situation has not progressed.. I may just shoot a txt today to let her know I called

I swear.. some of you guys don’t read.. I mentioned in my post that I CALLED HER, but she didn’t pick up.. I don’t understand why some of you guys keep saying...“you said you would call her, so call her”... and for others commenting on how I use my app.. that has nothing to do with my question.

The thing is you look like you're playing games because:

 

1. you say you want to move off the app and ask her to contact you

 

2. she does but, no no its too late

 

3. you say you'll call around 5.

6 is not around 5. around 5 is 5, 5:15. If you were meeting me, at a place and you said "I'll see you there around 5", would I still be there at 6? Hecks to the no.

 

4. you did not leave a message.

 

This equates to zero effort. you didn't even leave a message, like sorry, i am calling late because.... please give me a call back or I will try again at 8.

 

All very rude for the beginning of A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. Assuming you are looking to meet someone for a CARING, KIND RELATIONSHIP.

 

What you are doing here, is cool boy. I'm so cool. I'll say 5 but call at 6. maybe i am intetested maybe I'm not. me. me. me.

 

Anyone with respect, options and better manners is going to bail on this.

 

If you're intetested and you must be... this post took longer than another call or a follow up text. Do something... me & my friends, we dint leave messages. we call and if no pick up, we text a quick- hey just calling to say hi!

 

easy.

 

Lastly, when you come to an internet forum for advice... take the advice that works for you and ignore the rest. The people who took time out of their life to help you, deseve better than rude responses.

Unfortunately you don't seem too interested if you are resisting contact to this extreme. She has probably moved on to someone who communicates in a timely fashion rather than phone tag and games.

told her to shoot me a text

She contacted me later that evening, but it was late

The next day I called her at 6 (yesterday) she didn’t answer.. I didn’t leave a voicemail or anything

The thing is you look like you're playing games because:

 

1. you say you want to move off the app and ask her to contact you

 

2. she does but, no no its too late

 

3. you say you'll call around 5.

6 is not around 5. around 5 is 5, 5:15. If you were meeting me, at a place and you said "I'll see you there around 5", would I still be there at 6? Hecks to the no.

 

4. you did not leave a message.

 

This equates to zero effort. you didn't even leave a message, like sorry, i am calling late because.... please give me a call back or I will try again at 8.

 

All very rude for the beginning of A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. Assuming you are looking to meet someone for a CARING, KIND RELATIONSHIP.

 

What you are doing here, is cool boy. I'm so cool. I'll say 5 but call at 6. maybe i am intetested maybe I'm not. me. me. me.

 

Anyone with respect, options and better manners is going to bail on this.

 

If you're intetested and you must be... this post took longer than another call or a follow up text. Do something... me & my friends, we dint leave messages. we call and if no pick up, we text a quick- hey just calling to say hi!

 

easy.

 

Lastly, when you come to an internet forum for advice... take the advice that works for you and ignore the rest. The people who took time out of their life to help you, deseve better than rude responses.

Your ridiculous...

 

1. After I gave her my number she texted me at 10:30 at night.. it was late, and both of us were about to go to sleep.. I told her I’d give her a call the next day... something came up, so I didn’t call her until 6... it’s a phone call... not a date....

 

2. The fact that you think I have to be super aggressive with a women I never even met is crazy... I called.. she didn’t pick up.. just because I didn’t leave a voice mail doesn’t mean I’m not into her...

OP

 

With all due respect. The other posters are looking at the fact you called at 6 rather then the time you told her you would call which was 5. She probably took that as a sign of lack of interest on your part so she didn’t pick up. Plus it may have ticked her off thinking your playing games by waiting an hour to call past the time you said you would!

 

We all read your post.

 

Try not to be so defensive when you come here asking for advice!

So this is how I do it.

 

I call and if it goes to voicemail I leave this simple message. "Hi ______, This is Lost from ENA. Looks like I missed you, I will try back again another time" I don't ask them to call me back because then I am waiting on them which is not good.

 

Now even though I didn't tell them to call me back many times if the woman is really interested they will return my call, if not I don't get all negative about it.

 

If I had called towards the morning I might try again that same day when I know they are available to talk (after work or at lunch) or I will call the next day. If they still do not answer I leave this message "Looks like I missed you again, if you are still interested in getting to know each other better give me a call"

 

Then I leave it at that. I don't feel weak or like I have lost some imagined power in the non existent relationship, I simply make the effort and show interest in talking on the phone to see where things might go. Then ultimately the ball is in their court. If they call back great, if they don't then I know they are no longer interested. Time to move on and I have only invested a very small amount of mental real estate on the whole thing. It works remarkably well for me and will probably work well for you too. If a woman is texting me sometimes I just dial their number in the middle of the exchange which usually throws them off guard. They comment that most guys do not do that and hide behind texts and respond time games.

 

If you play games then you are where many people end up which is wondering what happened or why this or why that? Be in control of your own destiny in dating as much as possible and put your ego back in the dark closet where it belongs.

 

 

Lost

Your ridiculous...

 

1. After I gave her my number she texted me at 10:30 at night.. it was late, and both of us were about to go to sleep.. I told her I’d give her a call the next day... something came up, so I didn’t call her until 6... it’s a phone call... not a date....

 

2. The fact that you think I have to be super aggressive with a women I never even met is crazy... I called.. she didn’t pick up.. just because I didn’t leave a voice mail doesn’t mean I’m not into her...

 

I'm ridiculous?

 

You're posting on a forum about this same woman that you never met! but calling twice is super aggressive.

 

if you're into her, keep trying... If not, drop it.

Thread has run its course...Closed.