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Not sure what to do, it’s becoming suffocating


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My ex boyfriend (we split in February) is still trying to stay in contact with me - we had a very toxic relationship as he was often lying and hiding things from me. I found it difficult to let go as he was saying comments to me like “if you walk away, there is no point me being here anymore” which put an awful amount of strain on my mental health. However 3 weeks ago I decided to send a message letting him know that I couldn’t support him anymore as I need to look after my own mental health now. He didn’t understand this. He thinks I’m being selfish. However now he’s getting really suffocating, messaging me 50+ times a day, monitoring how often I’m online on whatsapp and asking me if I’m speaking to someone every time I am. I’ve blocked him on Instagram however he has told me he’s set up a new account (which I don’t know the name of) to check who I follow (I’m on private so he counts the numbers), he does this many times a day, and if he sees any numbers go up he constantly asks if I’m following any new guys or what picture I have uploaded. I’ve also seen him visit my town (20+ miles away from his home). He’s asked me to see him when he’s here but I refuse as it won’t help the situation. He told me he’s going to try over 100 times until I give in.

I feel like I can’t live my life, I feel like I can’t breathe. I don’t know what to do. I feel like a social media detox would help but it’s a shame I have to stop these things just because of him. Any advice please 😞

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First tell him you no longer wants to contact him in any ways and more importantly, tell him that if he continue to contact you or try to come to your house you will not hesitate to call the police on him to have his name filed for harassement.

Don't be nice about the way you say it. Just send him that message and immediately after block him in all social media including whatsapp. (Don't wait for his answer).

Set your social media on private.

Tell your friends and family so they don't answer his calls.

You also have to work hard so you don't care what he think about you and don't feel respinsible for his well being.

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Stop chitchatting with him and entertaining his stalking, threats and nonsense. You need to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media, contact lists and messaging apps. What he's doing is manipulative and abusive.

 

If after blocking this persists, then get a restraining order. No one can help you if you willingly chitchat with him and refuse to take the delete and block measures. His escalating should be a red flag for you.

 

My advice about this guy/situation remains the same: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563645&p=7199589&viewfull=1#post7199589

he’s getting really suffocating, messaging me 50+ times a day, monitoring how often I’m online on whatsapp and asking me if I’m speaking to someone every time I am. I’ve blocked him on Instagram however he has told me he’s set up a new account. I’ve also seen him visit my town (20+ miles away from his home).
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Sorry to sound blunt, but if it bothers you to this extent you'll find a solution, if not, you'll find an excuse. Block him, notify the authorities and you've done your part with no regrets. At this point he obviously feels he has you over a barrel and it's working.

 

Why not prove him wrong?

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He sounds narcissistic to me.

Someone like him doesn’t care if attention he gets is positive or negative.

So any attention you give him will keep him wanting more.

 

The only way to silence him is to be silent.

And the best way to do that is to simply block him.

 

Every time you get a new follower request on insta whether male or female that you don’t know , block.

 

He has zero interest in you , just the attention he might get from you.

 

You owe him nothing but silence.

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If he really cared about you more than himself then he would care about your mental health in the same way he expects you to care about his. This is a one-way street and he wants it to go his way. The only way to stop it is to ignore him.

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