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Thread: Do I unfriend the ex boyfriend that I dumped?

  1. #1
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    Do I unfriend the ex boyfriend that I dumped?

    Please help, I am so conflicted.

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years, I moved out of his place a week ago - before I broke up with him I explained all the reasons as to why I was ending things.

    After I moved out last week we did not exchange any messages.

    The relationship became toxic, and I just think we had different values on certain things that caused an imbalance in the relationship. He was heartbroken, but I knew it was for the best. I was so unhappy and felt I wasn't being treated right at all.

    He messaged me a couple of days ago saying thanks for returning his tools that I had in my car still, and he said he misses me so much, and hope I was doing alright.

    I replied and said of course I miss him too, and said I hope he was doing well too.

    He read the message and never replied...

    My friend saw him on Tinder yesterday.

    I am so conflicted, I don't know if I should un friend him on FB. I have already un followed him, but I don't want to come across as petty or being so dramatic by un friended him or spiteful etc...

    Is it best to just leave it be?

    I doubt he will contact me again since he read my message two days ago and never replied..

  2. #2
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    Yes, unfriend him for your own healing so you don't see his posts in your feed. He won't know. he doesn't get a message that you did so. And switch your profile to "friends only"

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Yes, unfriend him for your own healing so you don't see his posts in your feed. He won't know. he doesn't get a message that you did so. And switch your profile to "friends only"
    That is the thing though. I have already un followed him so nothing he posts will appear in my newsfeed, so is there any point in being dramatic un friending?

    I just really am worried about looking petty, and may seems like I am just throwing a tantrum by deleting him.. which wouldn't be the reasons, it is because I do not want to be friends with him in the future.

    Do you think the reason he never replied was because my message indicated that I was well and truly done with him, but I was just only being polite by sending that nice message. I have no business to be petty or angry, I am on a journey of healing.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by Roadtoheal
    That is the thing though. I have already un followed him so nothing he posts will appear in my newsfeed, so is there any point in being dramatic un friending?

    I just really am worried about looking petty, and may seems like I am just throwing a tantrum by deleting him.. which wouldn't be the reasons, it is because I do not want to be friends with him in the future.

    Do you think the reason he never replied was because my message indicated that I was well and truly done with him, but I was just only being polite by sending that nice message. I have no business to be petty or angry, I am on a journey of healing.
    If you are Facebook friends, all YOUR posts show up in his feed as well. It might be good to break that connection for YOU even if he doesn't notice. Its not petty, its self care

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I have to ask why you want to be "friends in the future" with the man who abused you.

    Please discuss with your therapist why you are so consumed with worrying about what he thinks of you.

    for context:
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    Yep, he was emotionally abusive. If your friends talked to you the way he did would you want to continue to be friends with them?

  7. #6
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Thread already exists, (Below)

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