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Thread: Started NC again

  1. #1
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    Started NC again

    I know some of you have read my previous posts, yes it was a short relationship but it has had a lasting effect on me.. last night I decided to go NC (again) after being ignored countless times.. just wondering, what should you do when you find yourself wanting to speak to your ex/reaching out?
    I've never been the one to initiate NC so this is a first for me. Cheers.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Block their number, then delete it from your phone and your contacts.

    No. It is not "harsh", "unnecessary", "immature", "petty" and no, you don't have to tell yourself you "don't" block. Since you haven't been successful at going more than a few hours, this step is an absolute must.

    When you're tempted to contact her, contact a friend instead. Let them know ahead of time that you're going through a tough time and could they please just help you out with this? Then text or call them saying you're wanting to contact the ex and could they please remind you that you aren't going to do that. They can encourage you and trust me, it helps.

    A final step would be to change your number. Yes, you can. I did when I didn't want my ex contacting me and I didn't have a lot of will power. It only took me about 20 minutes to text my new number to the people who I wanted to have it. And don't give in to those 1,001 excuses you can come up to not do this ("I've had this number for YEARS! My business contacts have this number, I CAN'T POSSIBLY change it!!") Yes, you can.

    Good luck and stay strong!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I like boltnrun's advice. Please follow thru!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Systematically go through all your social media, devices, contact lists and messaging apps and delete and block her and all her people. Adds a hurdle/barrier like a covid mask. Think of it as not getting reinfected.
    Originally Posted by StokeCity1
    just wondering, what should you do when you find yourself wanting to speak to your ex/reaching out?

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  6. #5
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    You have not gone no contact until you have blocked and deleted the other person on every platform. Meaning you can NOT contact them. Therefore you do not need “tools” or advice on how to not contact. You simply can’t!!?

    And the bottom line is that this other person knows people in contact with you, knows where you live etc and if they actually WANTED contact with you , they would be able to.

    But this is about YOU!

    So when are YOU actually going to go no contact because so far you haven’t. ???

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    You have not gone no contact until you have blocked and deleted the other person on every platform. Meaning you can NOT contact them. Therefore you do not need “tools” or advice on how to not contact. You simply can’t!!?

    And the bottom line is that this other person knows people in contact with you, knows where you live etc and if they actually WANTED contact with you , they would be able to.

    But this is about YOU!

    So when are YOU actually going to go no contact because so far you haven’t. ???
    Yes I have gone no contact, she is blocked off everything.
    Her number is deleted from my phone, she's blocked on Whatsapp, Instagram and Snapchat..
    She doesn't have Facebook so that's OK and of course you can still reach out when your the one who initiates NC, it's easy to just go on your blocked list and unblock?! You can't delete someone's Instagram profile can you?
    I've also blocked her friends so she can't contact me through them and my friends have blocked her.
    Yes she knows where I live unfortunately she also works just behind my house too but I doubt she will have the courage to even knock on my door considering she couldn't even bothered to reply to my message hours after I sent it.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by StokeCity1
    Yes I have gone no contact, she is blocked off everything.
    Her number is deleted from my phone, she's blocked on Whatsapp, Instagram and Snapchat..
    She doesn't have Facebook so that's OK and of course you can still reach out when your the one who initiates NC, it's easy to just go on your blocked list and unblock?! You can't delete someone's Instagram profile can you?
    I've also blocked her friends so she can't contact me through them and my friends have blocked her.
    Yes she knows where I live unfortunately she also works just behind my house too but I doubt she will have the courage to even knock on my door considering she couldn't even bothered to reply to my message hours after I sent it.
    You don’t get it. When you go no contact, the only rule is YOU resist the urge to reach out. YOU don’t contact. It doesn’t mean “block them on social media and control whenever you feel like you want to unblock and chat”.

    No contact means “That’s it, it’s over” and you no longer contact the other person what so ever.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you want it to be over or are you hoping to get back together? Reach out to some LGBT groups or therapists that could help you with the specific dynamics you two have. All this anger is hurting you, not her.
    Originally Posted by StokeCity1
    Yes she knows where I live unfortunately she also works just behind my house too but I doubt she will have the courage to even knock on my door considering she couldn't even bothered to reply to my message hours after I sent it.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Destroyed 33
    You don’t get it. When you go no contact, the only rule is YOU resist the urge to reach out. YOU don’t contact. It doesn’t mean “block them on social media and control whenever you feel like you want to unblock and chat”.

    No contact means “That’s it, it’s over” and you no longer contact the other person what so ever.
    I never insinuated that I wanted to unblock her?! And I do get what No Contact means thank you, there is no need to be rude, I only asked what should I do when I find myself wanting to talk to her because again as I stated on my post I've never been one to be in NC before, I've always been the one that's blocked after a breakup👍

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Do you want it to be over or are you hoping to get back together? Reach out to some LGBT groups or therapists that could help you with the specific dynamics you two have. All this anger is hurting you, not her.
    Not at all, she's shown her true colours to me and it's definitely not somebody I want to build a life/relationship with.
    Just needed some advice on the whole NC :)

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