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Thread: Letting Go....

  1. #41
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    There is a difference between parasitism and symbiosis. The universe created both, but don't choose tapeworms as friends.
    Thanks, Wiseman!

  2. #42
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Thanks cherylyn!

    I do recognize that it would no problem, in some respects, to become a total hermit. Lol! And I do enjoy quiet time, but I'm an outgoing introvert, which is a weird dynamic. So I often do find myself the center of attention & the ring leader. But I have been this way my entire life and I don't really seek those roles anymore.

    I am funny, social, warm and inclusive to others. But most of the time, I'm talking to them about them... And this is how I get into these lopsided friendships. I used to say I collected wounded birds. I never was trying to fix them. I just was being me and giving people the attention and compassion I think all people need. I took that man mirror song to heart. Lol.

    I am a happy person. I do care about others. But I learned to set the wounded birds free. I think I would go out more, if it weren't a pandemic. I used to travel a lot. I have a serious career that I love. It's challenging & rewarding, cerebral and helping others. I feel a great sense of pride for what I've built my life to be. I go out to dinner or drinks with others or by myself. I do need a boyfriend and God willing, there's one on the other side of this. Lol but as anyone reading these forums knows, it's a jungle out there! Pray for me... All of you😂❤️❤️❤️
    Praying for you Lambert sincerely to find the beautiful man you deserve !

  3. #43
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Celine2
    Praying for you Lambert sincerely to find the beautiful man you deserve !
    So sweet Celine2! And appreciated! I know there is power in prayer.

    Thank you.
    xx

  4. #44
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Really feeling for you, Lambert.

    I've reckoned, I think, with my own version of some of what you're going through—namely, recognizing a habit of absorbing a lot of emotional energy from others and ending up feeling like my own exists in a vacuum. I've come to accept that some part of me likes that role in the world, that it comes naturally to me and is part of my authentic character, something I'm built for in the same way I'm built to engage in some very risky sports, and have carved out a life in living on a pretty sharp edge. I'm on this site most days, after all, listening and responding far more than asking to be heard.

    In the past, I've had some friendships, along with some romances, that took on a similar dynamic. I can voice frustration about them all, and have, but of course I was getting something as well—some kind of affirmation, perhaps, of myself as the strong, sturdy guy who can always calmly add up 2 + 2 in the midst of a monsoon. Took me well into my 30s—and probably remains a process—to accept that I could just be that guy alone in a room, without needing to affirm it through connections that, past the initial bonding points, drained me more than filled me up.

    For whatever it's worth, that ongoing path to acceptance changed a lot of my interpersonal dynamics—who I gravitated toward, held onto, leaned into, and who I've let go, or at least created significant space with to create less draining and more mutually nourishing dynamics. Per my earlier post, there have been moments of contraction—and, in ways, I'm in one now myself, still relatively new to a new city, without the rich community I have in other places. So it goes, and will go.

    I'm not a prayer guy, but I guess what I'm saying is that in listening to you I do believe what you or a tarot card reader has labeled "small" is actually the opposite, the opening of an aperture that will get you what you're seeking, platonically and romantically.

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Really feeling for you, Lambert.

    I've reckoned, I think, with my own version of some of what you're going through—namely, recognizing a habit of absorbing a lot of emotional energy from others and ending up feeling like my own exists in a vacuum. I've come to accept that some part of me likes that role in the world, that it comes naturally to me and is part of my authentic character, something I'm built for in the same way I'm built to engage in some very risky sports, and have carved out a life in living on a pretty sharp edge. I'm on this site most days, after all, listening and responding far more than asking to be heard.

    In the past, I've had some friendships, along with some romances, that took on a similar dynamic. I can voice frustration about them all, and have, but of course I was getting something as well—some kind of affirmation, perhaps, of myself as the strong, sturdy guy who can always calmly add up 2 + 2 in the midst of a monsoon. Took me well into my 30s—and probably remains a process—to accept that I could just be that guy alone in a room, without needing to affirm it through connections that, past the initial bonding points, drained me more than filled me up.

    For whatever it's worth, that ongoing path to acceptance changed a lot of my interpersonal dynamics—who I gravitated toward, held onto, leaned into, and who I've let go, or at least created significant space with to create less draining and more mutually nourishing dynamics. Per my earlier post, there have been moments of contraction—and, in ways, I'm in one now myself, still relatively new to a new city, without the rich community I have in other places. So it goes, and will go.

    I'm not a prayer guy, but I guess what I'm saying is that in listening to you I do believe what you or a tarot card reader has labeled "small" is actually the opposite, the opening of an aperture that will get you what you're seeking, platonically and romantically.
    Thanks, Blue!

    You're right and very thought provoking as usual.

    I am with you, there is some kind of good feeling being the calm sage... with wisdom to dole out at will

    And I have been through this before... many times. It is darkest before the dawn and all that good stuff.

    I actually feel pretty good today.... some people do leave our lives. It happens. Some by choice, some by circumstances.

    Thank you for the encouragement re: my future. Good things are coming. I'm due!

  7. #46
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    Very glad to hear you are doing better!

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Very glad to hear you are doing better!
    Thanks, B!

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