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Thread: I lost interest before the 1st date, should I keep my promise and at least go?

  1. #71
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I mean, I once lost interest in a guy because he wore a pleather coat.
    Not to go off topic, but what is a "pleather coat?"

  2. #72
    Gold Member stuka80's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I think things will work out (or not work out) for the best. I agree with the other member also who mentioned dating coworkers might not be the best idea so consider this a win-win, in my opinion.
    Thanks, i ended up telling her that i gave it some thought and its best we remain just coworkers, she asked me why but i didnt wanna get into some long conversation over text. She told me she does not have a US number, as she's an intern from South Korea so i told her we can discuss it when we see each other at work during a break or lunch. so we'll see how it goes. if she does offer an explanation i'll update it here if anyone is interested in knowing.

  3. #73
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    Not to go off topic, but what is a "pleather coat?"
    "pleather
    [ˈpleT͟Hər]

    NOUN
    imitation leather made from polyurethane."


    It was just tacky looking. Irrational but there it is.

  4. #74
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stuka80
    Thanks, i ended up telling her that i gave it some thought and its best we remain just coworkers, she asked me why but i didnt wanna get into some long conversation over text. She told me she does not have a US number, as she's an intern from South Korea so i told her we can discuss it when we see each other at work during a break or lunch. so we'll see how it goes. if she does offer an explanation i'll update it here if anyone is interested in knowing.
    Yeah, probably better that way in person. Maybe there's a lost in translation thing going on there or culture clash also. S. Korea is also 16 hours ahead of us in the west. I'm in Vancouver, Canada, and in your time zone. I have relatives in southeast Asia. In the period she wasn't speaking to you she could have been chatting with relatives or friends in the morning (their morning). This is not an assumption, just a possibility or something to keep in mind.

    Sure.. we always love an update. Hope things go ok at work.

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  6. #75
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    i agree, however she told me she does not have a US number, as i mentioned she is an intern from overseas so the app is the only way we can talk to each other. otherwise i would've spoken to her over the phone directly.

    Apps can be glitchy and sometimes you don't get notifications.

    If she worked in your building, you could have dialed her extension. just saying.

  7. #76
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    Its totally fair to decide that you should not mix work and romance - but on the other hand -- did she think this was a romantic date? Or did she just consider it going out and it could be just friendly to show a coworker the local sites or there may be something there? I think based on the new information - a Korean intern that is going back home at some point - you could have gone out - but not made any romantic moves and just had a nice time out also. Being a coworker, i would not think that you would have been overt about romantic interest

  8. #77
    Gold Member stuka80's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Its totally fair to decide that you should not mix work and romance - but on the other hand -- did she think this was a romantic date? Or did she just consider it going out and it could be just friendly to show a coworker the local sites or there may be something there? I think based on the new information - a Korean intern that is going back home at some point - you could have gone out - but not made any romantic moves and just had a nice time out also. Being a coworker, i would not think that you would have been overt about romantic interest
    You're right i was being overt because we were at work, I hinted without being too forward that we were going out not strictly as friends. I told her i wanted to get to know her more outside of work(she said the same thing) and during the times we talked in person i consciously brought it up as a date in a light hearted manner as to not make it awkward but to also make sure she understood. Unless she was completely dense im pretty sure she got the hint.

  9. #78
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    So I just spent a while reading all your other threads because I couldn't figure out why you were so upset over this.

    What I saw in your other threads and this thread is that you tend to over analyze all your interactions with women in particular. I am curious as to why?

    When you speak to her let he down gently and tell her dating a coworker might not be a good idea.

    As far as why she took so long to reply goes: It could have been anything and nothing to do with you but you made it all about you just like in most if not all of your other threads. I think this is something you should explore just to see if there is some improvement could be had.

    Lost

  10. #79
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by stuka80
    you mentioned yourself you didn't read the full story so i get why you would think that, you dont have the full information for why i felt the way i did.
    No, I did read the entire thread . .I just didn't want to read it again

  11. #80
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    Originally Posted by stuka80
    You're right i was being overt because we were at work, I hinted without being too forward that we were going out not strictly as friends. I told her i wanted to get to know her more outside of work(she said the same thing) and during the times we talked in person i consciously brought it up as a date in a light hearted manner as to not make it awkward but to also make sure she understood. Unless she was completely dense im pretty sure she got the hint.
    In the future, you should consider going out is just going out. What it turns into is up to two people and the circumstances. You asked her out clearly on a date and then you let her down by saying "you don't date coworkers" that looks like you are a bit all over the place and its only what someone does when someone else catches their eye before the date. Or something said by the person turning down the asker. I went out on a "date" with someone - went to dinner and a movie. We both knew it wasn't the start of a relationship - it was just two former coworkers going on a "date". We were extremely mismatched, but we said 'why not?" It was dinner and a movie. We never went out again. and that was fine

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