You are always walking on eggshells. Don't you see that? This is not the way to live, no matter how you look at it. Your boyfriends lacks respect for you. He is putting you down and belittling you. This leads to the negative feelings that you have of yourself. Don't allow that to happen. The hurtful things he said to you are going to affect you and cause damage to your well being. You need to get rid of of jerk, NOW, before he causes more damage. If he truly loved you, he'd accept you as you are. This is a miserable relationship.