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Thread: How would you feel about using an egg donor?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I think even though the sister is the closest for DNA, that it's too close for comfort. Yes, I don't see how a person could not look at the baby and know it's your husband and sisters child. I suppose some people might be able to do it? I know I couldn't.

    I'd rather choose an anonymous donor. Although adopting (if possible) is always a great idea as there are so many babies needing a loving home. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Skatterbunny
    If you had a baby later in life and used an egg donor and your husbands sperm would you still feel it was 100 percent your child knowing even though you carry it, you have none of your dna in that child?
    For me, DNA is irrelevant. I lean more towards adoption, personally.... And then only if I win the lottery lol!

    I can't ignore that there are so many kids that need good homes right now, without my (or my partner's) genetic draw on already-taxed natural resources.

    Seems unfair, like I'd be setting them up for war if I actually added to the population....

    Human race vs my DNA? Let the human race win. Hands down. Mother the already-existing kids.

    So, if I actually wanted kids, I wouldn't go this route...

    HOWEVER I can see some possible potential issues here:

    Originally Posted by Skatterbunny
    And if you used an egg donated from your sister.... how would you feel for the rest of your life looking at the kid and knowing your husband technically has a child with your sister? If you were the sister would you always look at the child and think in your mind "you are looking like me, i am your mum" but never say it to anyone? Would you just rather the donor be an anonymous donor?
    This would be an exercise in trust, and I can see the appeal of an anonymous donor.

    Personally, I feel confident in saying (despite all of our differences), that my sister is well-bred, and that she would never permit such a thing to happen between us.

    But that's just my sister and my family.

    It just wouldn't be permitted.
    Last edited by Jibralta; 05-27-2020 at 10:42 PM.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member sophie274's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Does your partner want to adopt or use a surrogate since the pregnancy, not the eggs is the problem? Is this a real situation or just a survey? The doctor probably told you to try for a year first.

    Not sending you for expensive IVF etc is not malpractice. Wanting another child is not a medical diagnosis that was missed. It sounds like this is a hypothetical question because the facts do not add up.
    Infertility certainly is a medical diagnosis and warrants referral to a fertility specialist, especially at the poster’s age. Not going to speculate on malpractice but the OP should see a specialist, and soon. And without a work up, there is no way to know why the poster is experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss. It could very well be an issue with her eggs given her age, or something else.

    OP, I would consider using an egg donor if I had egg quality were the cause of my infertility, but would use an anonymous donor. I wouldn’t feel comfortable using a sibling’s eggs - not to mention that if you and your sister are at all close in age, she likely would not be the best option for a donor.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    So your sister wants to go through the intense process of donating eggs until you get and stay pregnant? And you are going to report the doctor to the medical board?

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  6. #15
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    My two cents on this is that having an anonymous egg donor will make things less complicated in the long run. We don't know if the sister could become too emotionally attached to the baby later on. It can also become awkward if the child becomes too close to the aunt. So to avoid that, might as well just have an anonymous egg donor.

  7. #16
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    Could you use IVF instead where your egg and your partner's sperm are joined artificially? I don't know that much about IVF but I believe artificially creating an embryo is possible?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is this the same partner?:
    Originally Posted by Skatterbunny
    I keep finding my partner setting up profiles on a swingers site... i discovered the first profile while looking through his email one night trying to figure out what was up with him as he had been acting very very strange and kept disappearing The thing that worries me is in this profile in the what are you looking for comment box it says "I am a straight male looking for a MMF threesome". And in the email he sent that couple just after i had the baby he said "its been a while since i had my last ffm threesome and ive had one mmf threesome and im keen to do it again".

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Skatterbunny
    Question for the Ladies:
    If you had a baby later in life and used an egg donor and your husbands sperm would you still feel it was 100 percent your child knowing even though you carry it, you have none of your dna in that child?

    And if you used an egg donated from your sister.... how would you feel for the rest of your life looking at the kid and knowing your husband technically has a child with your sister? If you were the sister would you always look at the child and think in your mind "you are looking like me, i am your mum" but never say it to anyone? Would you just rather the donor be an anonymous donor?

    All opinions and ponderings are welcome. Just interested on what you all think.
    Please call a fertility clinic and get a referral to a counselor who handles this matter. They can give you points to consider.. Also, join online groups of women who are considering this or have done this. Has your sister offered? If she approached you and offered that is way different.

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