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Thread: He is not sexually attracted to me...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    That's a really low blow. To tell someone they are not sexually appealing and yet say that he still loves you is a scoundrel's answer to life. He should be pulling the plug right there and being very honest with you without running away from the issues to play WoW in his office. In my opinion there is no working on this unless you change your body shape and that will take time. I think the relationship is already tainted with those comments.

    Don't pursue him anymore. The more you try the less and less appealing you become and you sell your soul more and more. And for what? He can very well come to you if he wants any answers about the relationship.

    This person is already a figment of your past and your imagination because he's willed himself so. He doesn't care because he knows you have no other alternatives and you've got nothing else going for you except to go back home to your family. Learn to stand your ground and take care of yourself if you need to. Are there absolutely no work options or work alternatives so that you are able to support yourself?

    For the meantime, I'd cool it and let the dust settle for the next two weeks. In that time start rebuilding and planning. As for him, you can watch and see whether his demeanor changes after you back off for a bit.
    I agree with Rose. Furthermore, I think your approach of not pressuring him, is exactly the kind of thinking that might have helped perpetuate this situation. Not saying its your fault. Its takes two, so he is in this with you 50%. but shame in him playing the not attracted card.

    That's a slap in the face and really hard to muster up some good old fashioned confidence and sex appeal to fix it. After 4 years, he could have done better.

    Now you're nervous and hoping to win him back with love and kindness. Sadly, that rarely works when a person doesnt value you.

    I would dump him. smack him right back with a "on second thought, I'm sorry you can't get it up. I can do better than your lame butt"

    Start working on yourself, while you figure out your next steps. Let him see for himself, he'll miss you, when he doesn't have you hanging on his last word.

    I know its hard... but I would not play the wounded bird. You're not attracted to me? Fine. I am dumping you, because treating me like crap, makes you very unattractive to me.

    you desrve better. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Clea
    This emotional baggage resurfaced recently, when my current boyfriend started acting strange...
    What was strange about his behaviour?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this, sad situation. Corona is impacting many relationships negatively. Divorce rates and breakups are soaring.

    Do either of you feel depressed? Sometimes that can lead to low libido and withdrawal. Have you dealt with your loneliness, homesickness and friend's death?

    Has he dealt with his job changes and isolation from coworkers? It seems he has always avoided you through excessive work hours.

  4. #14
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    take time off from your work and your separate lives.
    Spend some time together doing some fun stuff
    It will never happen unless you both want it, i guess he is taking the easy way out.
    Long hours of working is just an excuse also to be honest, it also impacts your personal well being, the whole thought about working more and having a good sex life is stupidity.
    Stress and depression can take over people who put in lot if hours at work and in turn effect other parts of relationship, where do you have time to think about sex, your mind is at work always

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