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Thread: Dealing With Painful Breakup - Doubts Over Correct Decision

  1. #11
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    Jun 2015
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I think that you purposely chose her, as you knew there would be no future. She was safe. No one could have a relationship with a her, she is a total mess.

    Perhaps, id you want a healthy relationship, you will deal with your trust issues and past, so that this may be possible.
    I've had this thought before myself, compatible incompatabilities and all that.

    I'm looking at things a bit differently today after reading the replies. I think I definitely made a mistake starting off something prematurely without making sure we were on really solid terms and pulling in the same direction, ultimately that wasn't fair to her, and there was a good bit in her response that wasn't fair to me either.

    In the end it was probably a case of two people who, as you said, weren't emotionally ready for a long term relationship choosing each other because it was safe and wasn't meant to last, rather than dealing with all the challenges involved building a strong healthy future with someone together.

    Whatever the case I know I have a lot to do with myself before the next one, and shouldn't be in any rush to find anyone. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    I was in your position, it took a really dysfunctional relationship to wake me up to the people I was choosing, and why. He was my epiphany ! I made many changes in my life, not just with my romantic life. Use this as a positive, as this is about you. You are choosing the wrong people, as you are afraid of letting someone healthy in.

  3. #13
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    Thanks Holly :)

    Right, I think I've been looking for someone to blame, either her or myself. But we're all human and it was a first go at something potentially longer lasting for both of us. I hurt her and she hurt me but we both made mistakes because we didn't know any better. No reason to resent her or myself, just learn from it and move on.

    Thanks for that, it's helped a lot.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by MSP2015
    Thanks Holly :)

    Right, I think I've been looking for someone to blame, either her or myself. But we're all human and it was a first go at something potentially longer lasting for both of us. I hurt her and she hurt me but we both made mistakes because we didn't know any better. No reason to resent her or myself, just learn from it and move on.

    Thanks for that, it's helped a lot.
    You are on your way :) Good luck!

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