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Thread: Want to move

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    5
    Thanks for the advice all. I did mention I wanted to see my parents on my day off whilst she was working so I was happy to go on my own as I was feeling a bit lonely at home. She started arguing that I should ask her if she wanted to come and that I don't prioritise her. She goes to see her parents on her own all the time so I don't see what I did wrong as she didn't want to take a day off work. How is that fair?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,679
    Originally Posted by manatee
    Thanks for the advice all. I did mention I wanted to see my parents on my day off whilst she was working so I was happy to go on my own as I was feeling a bit lonely at home. She started arguing that I should ask her if she wanted to come and that I don't prioritise her. She goes to see her parents on her own all the time so I don't see what I did wrong as she didn't want to take a day off work. How is that fair?
    It's not about "fair" - because sometimes things won't be fair on either side and it's for better or for worse. The question you should be asking yourself is "I feel frustrated with her response. How can I tell her that in a calm, direct, way that focuses on how I feel and not some abstract notion of what is fair" So how about "I feel frustrated when I take some time on my own to see my parents while you are busy working and you react with disappointment. I am sorry I hurt your feelings and it wasn't my intention. What do you think we should do differently next time I want to see my parents and you are working?" Keep it specific not the escalating "you don't prioritize me" or "it's not fair".

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