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Thread: I can't get my ex off of my mind.

  1. #1

    I can't get my ex off of my mind.

    My ex and I dated for about three years, we broke up a year and a half ago. After the break up, we were talking still because we were hopeful, and it ended with us eventually going to college. She and I were off and on, we both joined greek life at our college (went to parties a lot) and decided that in march we would talk again, after a few months. When I go to see her for the first time, she tells me she likes me, but says she can't commit. I offer to wait on her and she says no to that also. She then asks me what all I did over my freshman year, which I proceeded to tell her the truth, that I had talked to two girls over the year, and none of them lasted (It wasn't her, so it didn't make me happy.) She said the same thing, and so we go on for three months, talking and being flirty and such but staying in this "talking stage." This stage ends up hurting me really bad, and I realize I can't just sit here forever, so I tell her I need to move on. She gets mad at me, saying that over the past year and a half she has only liked me and only thought about me. We decide to stop talking after this fight, and a day later, her friend posted a video of her walking out of a guys house after a one night stand. This tore me apart because she had told me previously she hasn't done anything and she was "only thinking about me." This isn't the first time she lied to me and I decided to trust her even tho she had lied before, and I feel betrayed. I tried talking about it with her, she wont call me or offer to meet and talk, and she won't even apologize for lying as shes embarassed of what happened. How do I get her out of my head? I wanted to treat her right and I was trying so hard but nothing seems good enough. My heart is broken again in a way I didn't think was really possible, and I can't stop thinking about the possibilities. The what-ifs go through my head all the time, and I just need help moving on.

    TLDR: my ex lied to me about her past when she asked me about mine, and I don't know how to move on because I still love her. I don't feel good enough because she chose to give herself to another guy and I wanted to treat her right and she never let me.

    Any help is appreciated, just needed to get it off my chest.

  2. #2
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    You know, when things are not happening after so long they are not meant to happen in the first place. Move on by meeting new girls and new people? Start a new sport or hobby? You have to distract yourself somehow.

    Just for my own curiosity what does "greek life" mean?

  3. #3
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    Fraternities and sororities.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Perhaps you miss the campus life? And she is part of that nostalgia? She doesn't owe you any explanations.
    Originally Posted by abramcross
    She and I were off and on
    I tell her I need to move on.
    I tried talking about it with her, she wont call me or offer to meet and talk, and she won't even apologize for lying

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    When people treat you badly it's not about you not being good enough, it's about them not knowing any better. You two are not compatible anymore, hence things went south. Nothing to do with your personal value.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    To this day whenever I can't get certain bad people out of my mind, I've found that distractions are my lifesavers. For example, exercise, eat right, get healthy, hobbies, intellectual pursuits, outings, excursions, hikes, read books, magazines, take a long break from the Internet, watch great movies, surround yourself with very upstanding, moral people even with social distancing and after I do all that, I'm truly too exhausted to care much less think about some people who are worse than dirt under my feet. At that point, all I want to do is rest, relax and nap. (When my dog was alive, I spent a lot of time walking with my dog.)

    You'll cease obsessing over your ex once you immerse yourself into your own life and concentrate on what makes you happy. Remember, people who weren't good to you are NOT expending time, energy and resources into you whatsoever so you really need to return the favor and do the same. Get busy with your own life just like everyone else on this planet. This is how you move on.

    If you're faith based and the religious type, join a local church and surround yourself with like minds who know how to treat you with respect, self discipline and good manners.

    Focus on yourself instead of others. Then you'll know and learn your soul better and you will become kind to YOURSELF. Treat yourself with respect.

  8. #7
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    if you keep maintaining contacts your body mind will keep obsessing over her all the time.
    First thing block her off from your life, internet, tell your friends not to mention about her.
    common friends need to know she is no more in your life.
    Its going to help you else every contact or news about your ex will keep you in this state.
    Just disappear, embrace silence and solitude for a while.
    Concentrate on your well being now.

  9. #8
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    you two just seem like you are on two different paths in life and you should just let her go. Im not saying in a few years you two cant re connect but right now you two are just not compatible.
    She is still discovering who she is, what she wants and the more you stay in her life, the more confused you will be because you will analyze every move she makes. This will only make you crazy.
    Don't even try to remain 'friends' either or say things like "we are taking slow" or "just talking" or whatever helps you cope. Unless you can help her find a guy to be with, then you cant be friends

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She's stringing you along. Cut her loose and don't speak to her again. There are plenty of women on campus who would love to know someone like you. I would bet money too that your ex knows that and that's why she's having a tough time letting you go.

    Time to let go of the past. Out with the old. In with the new.


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