Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 9 of 12 FirstFirst ... 6789101112 LastLast
Results 81 to 90 of 117

Thread: Talking to guy with mental health issues

  1. #81
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    To be clear no one thinks it is ď weirdĒ all they said was be careful and donít over invest too quick etc.
    People obviously do think it is though or else they wouldn't keep questioning my intentions/expectations when i have already said that i dont have any

  2. #82
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,972
    Gender
    Female
    No, they are just saying donít be excessively interested in supporting his mental health.
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    People obviously do think it is though or else they wouldn't keep questioning my intentions/expectations when i have already said that i dont have any

  3. #83
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    188
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I only compare it to that because people see that as normal but see me talking to this guy as strange. I have said previously that obviously people om dating sites have a clear agenda for why they are talking.
    I don't think you talking to him is strange at all. People meet and talk via online games, forums, etc all the time. I do find it a bit strange that you claim to have no intention of dating him but compare your connection to people meeting on dating sites while like you said that's not really comparable to your situation. To my knowledge people on dating sites tend to search for local matches and rule out emotionally unstable/unavailable people early on. They also don't get this wrapped up with the mental health issues of an online match.

    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I am not open to explicit photos, i have said that i have not sent anything explicit. I did not ask for or expect his photo. I just woke up to it one morning after we had been talking alot of the night with a message that he must have dreamt about me or something, i cant remember exactly what it said now.
    If someone I consider as a friend only sends an explicit photo uninvited he will not be my friend anymore. There's obviously something beyond friendship between you two.

  4. #84
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,972
    Gender
    Female
    I donít think itís weird to talk to people online at all at all Iíve been on this forum for more than a decade talking to people .

  5.  

  6. #85
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by SophiaG
    I don't think you talking to him is strange at all. People meet and talk via online games, forums, etc all the time. I do find it a bit strange that you claim to have no intention of dating him but compare your connection to people meeting on dating sites while like you said that's not really comparable to your situation. To my knowledge people on dating sites tend to search for local matches and rule out emotionally unstable/unavailable people early on. They also don't get this wrapped up with the mental health issues of an online match.



    If someone I consider as a friend only sends an explicit photo uninvited he will not be my friend anymore. There's obviously something beyond friendship between you two.
    I only compare it to people that meet on dating sites as it was the only think i could think of to compare it to. Im in the UK and unless i have just led a very sheltered life, i dont really hear of people merting on games or forums the same over here so a dating site was all i could really think of as an example

  7. #86
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,507
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    People obviously do think it is though or else they wouldn't keep questioning my intentions/expectations when i have already said that i dont have any
    It's not talking to him in and of itself that is strange. I don't believe anyone has said that.

    Posters here are simply trying to caution you against being too "there" for him during his mental health troubles when you've never met the guy.

  8. #87
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,586
    Gender
    Male
    Long distance. Never met. One month talking. Lives with parents. Sexting. Mental health issue. Suicidal. Shuts you out intermittently. " People" just don't get it. Reflect on all that.

  9. #88
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Long distance. Never met. One month talking. Lives with parents. Sexting. Mental health issue. Suicidal. Shuts you out intermittently. " People" just don't get it. Reflect on all that.
    Well i wouldnt exactly call any of our conversations sexting. Some have been a bit about sex but i wouldnt say it was really sexting.

    He doesnt shut me out personally, he sometimes just doesnt want to talk to anyone. Theres nothing wrong with that.

    If he has suicidal thoughts then id say it was a good thing he lives with his mum.
    I know from those in my family that if they loves alone, they wouldnt be here today. And you cant use the fact that someone sometimes struggles as a basis for whether you should or shouldnt communicate with them.

    Long distance, only a month of talking and never met, i get. But as i have said, i am not looking to get in a relationship with this guy or even to necessarily meet him. All i was initially asking was if there was any way to show that i was there if he ever wanted to talk about anything. Some of which he has spoken to me about. It was never about anything more than that.
    It was not about me trying to play at being a dr/therapist/psychiatrist etc.. and it wasnt about me wanting to date a guy i have never met. I am not looking to date anybody right now least of all someone i dont know that i would rarely see

  10. #89
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    2,043
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    Well i wouldnt exactly call any of our conversations sexting. Some have been a bit about sex but i wouldnt say it was really sexting.

    He doesnt shut me out personally, he sometimes just doesnt want to talk to anyone. Theres nothing wrong with that.

    If he has suicidal thoughts then id say it was a good thing he lives with his mum.
    I know from those in my family that if they loves alone, they wouldnt be here today. And you cant use the fact that someone sometimes struggles as a basis for whether you should or shouldnt communicate with them.

    Long distance, only a month of talking and never met, i get. But as i have said, i am not looking to get in a relationship with this guy or even to necessarily meet him. All i was initially asking was if there was any way to show that i was there if he ever wanted to talk about anything. Some of which he has spoken to me about. It was never about anything more than that.
    It was not about me trying to play at being a dr/therapist/psychiatrist etc.. and it wasnt about me wanting to date a guy i have never met. I am not looking to date anybody right now least of all someone i dont know that i would rarely see
    If it was never about any of the above, then what was it about??? Tell us? Because no one has a clue why?

  11. #90
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,951
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    People obviously do think it is though or else they wouldn't keep questioning my intentions/expectations when i have already said that i dont have any
    They are questioning your overblown sense of responsibility, not the fact that you are talking to a stranger you met online. Think about it. That's what everyone does here: We all talk to strangers online.

    What we don't do is post secondary threads about each OP and ask each other, "Do you think that OP knows that I want to help? How can I get that OP to open up to me? how can I show that OP that I am there for him/her, and that he/she is not alone?"

    There are no secondary threads like that here (or in most forums) because it's uncommon to feel that level of responsibility for people who are not an actual part of our lives.

    What happens here is, people do their best to give advice. That is enough for everybody, OPs and 'advisors,' and we all go our separate ways when it is done.

    But for you, it is not enough. You need reassurance that he is reassured.

    You have a disproportionate sense of responsibility towards him. That means that you are over-invested. Period.

    People aren't trying to get you to stop talking to him or even to refrain from meeting him. People are trying to get you to see that you are over-invested in him.

    Interestingly, that seems to be the one and only thing that you are unwilling to see.
    Last edited by Jibralta; 05-25-2020 at 07:07 AM.

Page 9 of 12 FirstFirst ... 6789101112 LastLast

Videos


Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems

Friendship Between Men and Women Often Involves Attraction

Infidelity
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •