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Thread: Talking to guy with mental health issues

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    I think until he is ready to give you the opportunity to prove you won't judge him, you just have to fall back.

    If he feels he can confide in you, he will and when he is ready.

    Truly showing someone who you are, what you offer as a person takes time and shared experiences which can be hard in a long distance relationship/friendship. its time in person that builds the real foundation, as we say, where the rubber meets the road,

    there is harm in being long distance for a long period of time, without real time experiences. It can set one up for major disappointment and can also cause one to miss opportunities to engage with others in real life.
    Unfortunately there is no other option than long distance right now with this pandemic and the lockdown

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    Unfortunately there is no other option than long distance right now with this pandemic and the lockdown
    unfortunately, this is very true and many people find themselves in long distance relationships with people just around the corner.

    The pandemic and lockdown does require us to go against general thought to meet in person, relatively quickly, to avoid falling for a version of a person we create in our minds.

    A long distance relationship is hard to maintain in any circumstance. if there mental health issues, it may add additional levels of challenges.

    Its always prudent to go into these things with a healthy dose of skepticism and reservations. protect oneself from jumping too fast into something we in no way can fully guage.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Just to remark, Pop, that he does not have to be locked indoors all the time.

    Current rules. See here:
    [Register to see the link]

    "There is no longer any limit to the amount of exercise, or "open-air recreation" (such as sunbathing) you can do outside in England.

    You can play outdoor sports such as golf or tennis with members of your household or with one other person from another household (while maintaining social distance)."

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok be his friend, not his doctor. He has your contact info if he wants a friend to talk to.
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    He sees the dr and has prescription medications though.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by LaHermes
    Just to remark, Pop, that he does not have to be locked indoors all the time.

    Current rules. See here:
    [Register to see the link]

    "There is no longer any limit to the amount of exercise, or "open-air recreation" (such as sunbathing) you can do outside in England.

    You can play outdoor sports such as golf or tennis with members of your household or with one other person from another household (while maintaining social distance)."
    I know he doesnt. But thats a relatively new thing. He did go and see a mate a last week, maintaining social distancing and he was alot happier for a few days after that. I think for the most part, thats all he really needs, is to get out and gets some fresh air, a change of scenery and to see some mates from time to time. Why he doesnt, i dont know, i havent asked.

  7. #36
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok be his friend, not his doctor. He has your contact info if he wants a friend to talk to.
    I think you are completely misunderstanding me.

    Yes he has my contact info, he messages me every day, even when he is feeling low and not wanting to talk to anyone he will still message me even if it is just to tell me this

  8. #37
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    If you want to be a true friend you let him make his own decision on whether he wants to open up or not. Patience, and understanding is key. You cannot push, or encourage a person to talk about certain things, who has mental illness...it's very difficult for them because causes them great anxiety. Unlike us mentally healthly people, that find talking things out is helpful...they don't feel the same way.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you video-chatted? Hopefully this is not a catfish or someone scamming, trolling you. You are way to drawn in and invested. This could be anyone, anywhere. Do your parents know about this?

    It's surprising that between school, work, friends, family, interests and hobbies that you have all this time for this. Do you have real life friends you can talk to?
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    he messages me every day, even when he is feeling low and not wanting to talk to anyone he will still message me even if it is just to tell me this

  10. #39
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    Argh! I give up with this thread!

    Everyone seems to think i have been pushing or pressuring him or something and i havent. I have tried explaining that.

    I have told him i am here if he wants to talk. I have not pushed him to open up. He has told me someol of how he is feeling, off his own back, not because i have asked. The only thing i have asked is if he is ok, or if i think he doesnt want to talk then rather than asking i have said that i hope he is ok.

    Its clear that people think i shouldnt be talking to him or entertaining the idea of meeting. Everyone has made up their minds and and decided that i am crazy and pushy so there is no point continuing this thread.
    My question has been completely misinterpreted. And everyone seems to be focusing more on the relationship side of things when there isnt a relationship or even talk of a relationship.

    Obviously i posted in the wrong section and i wasnt very clear with my wording in my initial post so i apologise.

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Have you video-chatted? Hopefully this is not a catfish or someone scamming, trolling you. You are way to drawn in and invested. This could be anyone, anywhere. Do your parents know about this?

    It's surprising that between school, work, friends, family, interests and hobbies that you have all this time for this. Do you have real life friends you can talk to?
    Yes we have video chatted. He is not a catfish.
    School? I am way past school age. So no, my parents do not know.
    Yes i have real friends and interests.
    Yes i talk to my friends and family

    So now we have established that not only do people think i am crazy and pushy but also that i am percieved as a child.

    Done with this thread now 🤦♀️

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