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Thread: Talking to guy with mental health issues

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to say but it's inappropriate to pry and pester him to talk. He is not your social work project. Be friends but stop playing psychiatrist. It seems more like you are seeking a friend or someone to talk to because of your own issues.

    Therapy would be better than prying into the life and mind of this stranger.
    There are plenty of free 24/7 mental health hotlines available if you need to talk to someone.
    I havent been prying or pestering him at all. I have just let him know that i am here and he has said the same goes for me. I dont expect him to tell me his life story or anything like that. I think you are misunderstanding me.

    I do not have any issues, nor do i need to be actively seeking out friends. I do not suffer with my mental health. Just know people that do.

    We speak because alot of the time it is him that continues to communicate. Just as it is him that has shown interest in wanting to meet. Yes i was the first to make contact, but only to make a joke about how i seemed to be liking all of his posts as i found alot of them to be relatable. He was then the one to start a proper conversation and continue on talking.

    He was the one to ask for my snapchat so as to send pics and speak on there. Yes i enjoy speaking with him but if he didnt want to continue i wouldnt be cut up about it

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, then don't try to "get him to talk". Just enjoy the friendship.
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I havent been prying or pestering him at all.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok, then don't try to "get him to talk". Just enjoy the friendship.
    Thats what im saying, i havent been trying to get him to talk, just trying to show him that he can.

    Maybe i said it wrong.

    I feel as though people are misunderstanding me.

    Its not that i want him to open up, just that i want him to know that he can and that i wouldnt judge him or think different of him.

    And as for the talking/friendship.... everyone seems to think it is strange... which admittedly i did at first too... but how is it any different to meeting through any of the 100s of dating sites that are out there? 1000s of people a day meet and talk like that and nobody even bats an eyelid so i dont get why its so crazy for us to be talking?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    And as for the talking/friendship.... everyone seems to think it is strange...
    I don't think that anyone here thinks the friendship is strange.

    The issue people are having is that your sense of responsibility is disproportionate to the situation. In every post, you've repeated this deep concern you have for someone who you don't actually know:

    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I have told him im here to talk to and wouldnt think any different of him and that theres nothing he could say that would shock me or make me judge him

    I dont know how to be there for someone that i cant physically be there for and that i have never met before therefore dont really know all that well, especially when he wont open up to anyone. He doesnt shut me out completely, just says that hes sorry hes been distant and that hes feeling off again and not really talking to anyone.

    Any ideas on how to show him he can open up to me and that im there for him?
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I was just looking for advice on how to show him that i was there if he was to ever decided he wanted to talk.

    I just wanted to let him know that he wasnt alone.
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    i keep telling him he doesnt have to apologise for not feeling like talking
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    i just wanted to show him that he wasnt alone
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I have just let him know that i am here and he has said the same goes for me.
    If you were 1/5th as expressive to him as you are on this thread, he will have gotten the point that someone is there for him, and that he is not alone. You do not need to do more.

    The question is, is anyone there for you, and do you feel alone?

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I don't think that anyone here thinks the friendship is strange.

    The issue people are having is that your sense of responsibility is disproportionate to the situation. In every post, you've repeated this deep concern you have for someone who you don't actually know:










    If you were 1/5th as expressive to him as you are on this thread, he will have gotten the point that someone is there for him, and that he is not alone. You do not need to do more.

    The question is, is anyone there for you, and do you feel alone?
    I show concern because he has told me that in the past he has also tried to take his life because he reached a point where he felt he had no one to turn too. I have seen this with members of my family and wouldnt wish that feeling on anyone.

    I would try and be there for anyone that felt that way regardlese of how well i knew them. Is that not what being a decent human being is about?

    I have people i can turn to if needed but i do not need to. No i do not feel alone.

  7. #16
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Then he knows he can turn to you now it is all up to him.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Someone close to me suffers with clinical depression. I'm not saying that's what he is or what he has but the symptoms are very similar. You're going to feel helpless around this person a lot if you think that you can get through or help this person when you've never met him and he's halfway across the country.

    Take a big step back. You can't help someone suffering with mental illness - you're not trained to do it and you've also never met him. I do understand your emotions though. I've felt it too. Just take a step back and don't take what he does personally.

    Start incorporating other people back into your life. It will give you more perspective, strengthen your hope and compassion also but don't trick yourself into believing you can cure someone or help someone be more like you or less like what they are. You can choose to be there for him with the online game but for your own sake, take things with a grain of salt and don't get too emotionally drawn. I think the greatest buffer you can give yourself is to be involved with a variety of things and have people yourself who love and care for you. You'll have more of yourself to spread over and give or more compassion and empathy without burning out or getting frustrated easily. Take care of yourself.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I would try and be there for anyone that felt that way regardlese of how well i knew them. Is that not what being a decent human being is about?
    I believe you. I think everybody believes you. Nobody here doubts your decency. Why do you feel that you need to keep repeating this?

    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I have people i can turn to if needed but i do not need to. No i do not feel alone.
    I am glad.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Someone close to me suffers with clinical depression. I'm not saying that's what he is or what he has but the symptoms are very similar. You're going to feel helpless around this person a lot if you think that you can get through or help this person when you've never met him and he's halfway across the country.

    Take a big step back. You can't help someone suffering with mental illness - you're not trained to do it and you've also never met him. I do understand your emotions though. I've felt it too. Just take a step back and don't take what he does personally.

    Start incorporating other people back into your life. It will give you more perspective, strengthen your hope and compassion also but don't trick yourself into believing you can cure someone or help someone be more like you or less like what they are. You can choose to be there for him with the online game but for your own sake, take things with a grain of salt and don't get too emotionally drawn. I think the greatest buffer you can give yourself is to be involved with a variety of things and have people yourself who love and care for you. You'll have more of yourself to spread over and give or more compassion and empathy without burning out or getting frustrated easily. Take care of yourself.
    I know i cant help him and i dont take anything personally. He hasnt done anything that i could even remotely take personally anyway.
    I was just looking to see if people had any thoughts on how to show him he wasnt alone when im not actually there. But the general advice seems to be either that i already have, so thats fine, or that i shouldnt.

  11. #20
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    Are you interested romantically?

    Doesn't he have a therapist?

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