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Thread: Talking to guy with mental health issues

  1. #111
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    But even in answering the question that i originally asked it is still in disbelief. Everyone seems to think there must be some kind of hidden agenda or something and doesnt seem to believe me when i say otherwise and try and clarify.
    I think that's because if you were truly impartial, you wouldn't have asked at all.

    Simply asking "how can I show him that I am there for him" reveals a certain amount of anxiety (and thus over-investment). You needed reassurance that he was reassured.

    Also, if you suspect that he has mental health issues, then this cannot simultaneously be an opportunity for you to scout potential future relationships:

    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    But i cant tell him for 100% sure that i have no interest, at the moment no i dont have any interest in dating or anything like that, i do not know him, but thats not to say that after meeting and getting to know him more that things might not change.
    That is the absolute opposite of impartial and disinterested, and flies in the face of your claim that you simply want to let him know you're there for him.

    Batya is absolutely right:

    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I think you need to reevaluate your motives and your choices and reactions. I would assume that someone who is flirty and wants to meet in person has an interest in a potential romantic involvement. And if the person has mental health issues -and was suicidal in the last few years- it's crucial you are 100% clear with what you want and do not want should you choose to meet him in person. You say you want to support him - so I gave you my suggestion about being supportive with mental health resources and if you truly want to support him - and show that you care about a near stranger - do NOT engage in flirtatious behavior or agree to plan to meet unless you are looking to potentially date him. If he didn't have mental health issues I would not write this as strongly.
    A lot of people, myself included, think you're fooling yourself on this thread, and this next statement just confirms that suspicion even further:

    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    How can he have an interest in a potential romantic involvement when he doesnt even know me?
    How can a 30 year old woman in this day and age seriously entertain that question?

  2. #112
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    Did you even read my post Poptart66? I greatly supported you.

    I also chime in with the others. They gave you some really good advice. You asked a basic question expecting an answer that suits you.

    The problem is thatís not how it works on a forum. Youíll get those wanting to express different opinions and solutions.

    Instead of getting defensive you can just take every ones advice with a grain of salt.

  3. #113
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Hopefully you find someplace that understands and agrees with you.
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    I posted on another forum too.

  4. #114
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Did you even read my post Poptart66? I greatly supported you.

    I also chime in with the others. They gave you some really good advice. You asked a basic question expecting an answer that suits you.

    The problem is thatís not how it works on a forum. Youíll get those wanting to express different opinions and solutions.

    Instead of getting defensive you can just take every ones advice with a grain of salt.
    I dont think i saw your post. I will go back and look now

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  6. #115
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I think that's because if you were truly impartial, you wouldn't have asked at all.

    Simply asking "how can I show him that I am there for him" reveals a certain amount of anxiety (and thus over-investment). You needed reassurance that he was reassured.

    Also, if you suspect that he has mental health issues, then this cannot simultaneously be an opportunity for you to scout potential future relationships:



    That is the absolute opposite of impartial and disinterested, and flies in the face of your claim that you simply want to let him know you're there for him.

    Batya is absolutely right:



    A lot of people, myself included, think you're fooling yourself on this thread, and this next statement just confirms that suspicion even further:



    How can a 30 year old woman in this day and age seriously entertain that question?
    Obviously i can tell him that at present i have no interest in anything. I dont think it needs to be said though as i think he feels the same.


    And how do you mean? Everyone keeps saying how could i be potentially romantically interested (which im not) when i dont know him, so surely that works both ways so why now has it been said that he could potentially be interested romantically?

  7. #116
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Hopefully you find someplace that understands and agrees with you.
    Are you this condesending to everyone?

  8. #117
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    This thread has run its course...Closed.

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