Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 10 of 12 FirstFirst ... 789101112 LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 117

Thread: Talking to guy with mental health issues

  1. #91
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    766
    Gender
    Male
    Pop, how old are you, doing college or working?

  2. #92
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,794
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    They are questioning your overblown sense of responsibility, not the fact that you are talking to a stranger you met online. Think about it. That's what everyone does here: We all talk to strangers online.

    What we don't do is post secondary threads about each OP and ask each other, "Do you think that OP knows that I want to help? How can I get that OP to open up to me? how can I show that OP that I am there for him/her, and that he/she is not alone?"

    There are no secondary threads like that here (or in most forums) because it's uncommon to feel that level of responsibility for people who are not an actual part of our lives.

    What happens here is, people do their best to give advice. That is enough for everybody, OPs and 'advisors,' and we all go our separate ways when it is done.

    But for you, it is not enough. You need reassurance that he is reassured.

    You have a disproportionate sense of responsibility towards him. That means that you are over-invested. Period.

    People aren't trying to get you to stop talking to him or even to refrain from meeting him. People are trying to get you to see that you are over-invested in him.

    Interestingly, that seems to be the one and only thing that you are unwilling to see.
    I agree- you never responded to my suggestion that if you want to be there for him let him know you're happy to look into telehealth or community resources for him where he lives - or ask around. You said you're not a healthcare professional or a therapist so you're limited in how you can help a stranger with mental health issues. If he is suicidal I'd give him the info of the suicide hotline.

  3. #93
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by Billie28
    If it was never about any of the above, then what was it about??? Tell us? Because no one has a clue why?
    I have explained numerous times what it was about, even in the post that you have quoted

  4. #94
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    They are questioning your overblown sense of responsibility, not the fact that you are talking to a stranger you met online. Think about it. That's what everyone does here: We all talk to strangers online.

    What we don't do is post secondary threads about each OP and ask each other, "Do you think that OP knows that I want to help? How can I get that OP to open up to me? how can I show that OP that I am there for him/her, and that he/she is not alone?"

    There are no secondary threads like that here (or in most forums) because it's uncommon to feel that level of responsibility for people who are not an actual part of our lives.

    What happens here is, people do their best to give advice. That is enough for everybody, OPs and 'advisors,' and we all go our separate ways when it is done.

    But for you, it is not enough. You need reassurance that he is reassured.

    You have a disproportionate sense of responsibility towards him. That means that you are over-invested. Period.

    People aren't trying to get you to stop talking to him or even to refrain from meeting him. People are trying to get you to see that you are over-invested in him.

    Interestingly, that seems to be the one and only thing that you are unwilling to see.
    Because i dont think that is the case. I dont feel as though i am over invested or feel any kind of responsibility towards him. I simply wanted to ask others experiences and opinions on how best to let him know hes not alone.

    Not because i feel responsible in anyway but because i know what it is like, i deal with others with depression daily but i know them more and am closer to them so it is easier.

    I dont feel it is a sense of responsibility or being too invested to want to make sure someone is ok. Especially someone you know or are getting to know. A little compassion can go along way. You never know, that one person telling a stranger they can talk to them could be all it takes to keep that person alive another day

  5.  

  6. #95
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I agree- you never responded to my suggestion that if you want to be there for him let him know you're happy to look into telehealth or community resources for him where he lives - or ask around. You said you're not a healthcare professional or a therapist so you're limited in how you can help a stranger with mental health issues. If he is suicidal I'd give him the info of the suicide hotline.
    He knows all of this already. He is not currently suicidal. He has said that he has been in the past, a few years back

  7. #96
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by Spawn
    Pop, how old are you, doing college or working?
    im 30. I work. I am currently unable to work though due to the virus

  8. #97
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,586
    Gender
    Male
    You already know what you want so why ask "people" who you perceive as antagonizing you? What "people"? How many places did you posit this question?

    Is this a knee-jerk response? Just having both sides of the conversation and countering, opposing, debating and contradicting yourself?
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    i dont think
    I dont feel
    I dont feel

  9. #98
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    51
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You already know what you want so why ask "people" who you perceive as antagonizing you? What "people"? How many places did you posit this question?

    Is this a knee-jerk response? Just having both sides of the conversation and countering, opposing, debating and contradicting yourself?
    I posted on another forum too.

    I am not contradicting myself. I have explained many times now why i asked and what i was asking.
    I did not thing when posting that i would get such negative responses but then as you have just pointed out... i dont think

  10. #99
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,816
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You already know what you want so why ask "people" who you perceive as antagonizing you? What "people"? How many places did you posit this question?

    Is this a knee-jerk response? Just having both sides of the conversation and countering, opposing, debating and contradicting yourself?
    You do come across defensive and you feel like everyone is antagonizing you. But I've followed this thread and the only one that seems to be antagonizing is you. And other's have pointed out the support and agreement you've received as well.

    So I wonder, OP, what is it you want to hear?

    Or is this just something to do because you are bored? You know, keep the thread going.... There's a lot of effort here for a new friend, that you're not interested in romantically.

  11. #100
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,794
    Originally Posted by Poptart66
    He knows all of this already. He is not currently suicidal. He has said that he has been in the past, a few years back
    He knows that you can look into resources for him? Perfect then you've been very supportive already!

Page 10 of 12 FirstFirst ... 789101112 LastLast

Videos


Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems

Friendship Between Men and Women Often Involves Attraction

Infidelity
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •