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Thread: Its been over a year and I still miss her

  1. #1
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    Its been over a year and I still miss her

    So my ex and I broke up over a year ago, and it took a while but I started feeling better, but then she came back around and we started hanging out again and pretty soon we were practically dating again. Once the semester started she ghosted me and started dating another guy who I was told ended up cheating on her although I don't know that for sure. might sound bad to say and it might make me a bad person but it kind of felt good to know she got burnt after hurting me like that.

    I cant seem to stop thinking about her though, even though I dont want to. I also know full well that it would be a bad decision to open the door for her again if she were to reach out, but I honestly cant say for sure that I would ignore her even though I know that I have to. I don't really know why I miss her because even though when things were good it was amazing, she has either broken up with me or ghosted me 3 times already and I know for sure she'd do it again.

    At this point I just want to move on completely and get over this chapter of my life, but it seems like it wont end. Just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and has any advice for me, it would mean a great deal.

  2. #2
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    You will move on if you block and delete. Stop putting yourself in harm's way.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    My personal experience on these things is a prime case of what not to do. Iíve been willing to jump back in to toxic relationships several times. Also on and off in one really great relationship that just suffered from some incompatibilities, though we loved each other very much.

    In my youth I was always a ďrun it until the wheels fall offĒ guy and I set myself way back in life that way. Iíve done the work to accept and love my present circumstances, whatever they may be...but I always find myself cheering for young people like you to take the high road and love yourself enough to find somebody who is really compatible and capable of relating to you in a healthy way.

    I always thought healthy was a synonym for boring...but it turns out itís SO fulfilling and rewarding. Anyway, if youíre asking me: do yourself a favor and meet someone reliable who wonít mess with your heart by leaving you high and dry.

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    hello Dash, I have been in a similar situation of a never-ending relationship, you just have to learn that you have not control except over yourself and your own feelings and the best you can do is live your life the way it makes you happy.

    move on, be cheerful. love yourself. and Hug yourself everyday even though you are broken and your heart longs for someone that you have had a past with.

    I moved on and met someone else. I healed with time therapy and everything everyone tells you about, but something always triggers my thoughts and there is always something that reminds me of him. You just live with it after a while. The love of your life, it was a gift . you cannot grab on to it you have to let it go.

    love,
    violetstar

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You have to love yourself. Violetstar said it too. You're worth more than that and you don't deserve to be treated like you are worthless.

    When you start loving yourself, you'll probably start to see a lot of bad behaviours and red flags in people and situations. Live at peace and steer clear of people who don't respect or treat you how you ought to be treated.

  7. #6
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    Are you still in any sort of contact with her, directly or indirectly? Social media?

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Are you still in any sort of contact with her, directly or indirectly? Social media?
    Nope, she follows me on some platforms but I have removed her, havent spoken to her since september, we were texting each other and she stopped replying so I didn't chase. It was really weird to be honest, one second we were in a normal conversation and then months go by without saying anything to each other.

  9. #8
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Get through this wave of feeling. Donít make any decisions until youíre emotionally ďback to zero.Ē Youíve been disciplined for this long, so a few more hours (or even days) of pining should be bearable.

    Look at the situation again once youíve come out the other side and feel free again? Maybe itís time to take some other girls out now that covid restrictions are lifting and you have several months of separation from your ex?

    Best wishes!

  10. #9
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Honestly, it will end you you make the decision to end this. Literally.

    Right now, based on your post, you are still wishy washy, if she were to contact you, blah blah blah. That's just you keeping yourself spinning those wheels. You can literally stop them any time you want to, but you have to honestly want to. Be done and call it that way. It's not about knowing she is no good for you, it's about deciding that this chic is not and was never worth your time. There is a difference there. Once you make that decision to discard, you actively work on it. Every time she pops in your head, you deliberately turn your thoughts to something else. Do it long enough and you'll find that you aren't thinking about her at all anymore. That she is history.

    For as long as you keep entertaining this idea that maybe she'll reach out again, maybe you'll pick things up with her again, you are keeping yourself stuck.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Hopefully you have blocked her on all social media and messaging apps. Don't allow this back into your life. You'll meet someone else soon enough if you distance yourself from this.
    Originally Posted by Dash40
    At this point I just want to move on completely and get over this chapter of my life, but it seems like it wont end.


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