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Thread: A peaceful vent

  1. #31
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Ok the day has come when i woke up and dont think about the past.
    It feels like some big weight has been lifted. Sometimes i still think about her and let the memories pass by.

    Had a meeting with my manager and he is mighty impressed with my efforts and wanted me to be part of a new Cloud computing engineering group first one for Europe and US.

    Sounds exciting something new to look forward to

  2. #32
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Just a nice song..


  3. #33
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Sometimes i feel did i do the right thing of blocking the people who just kept hurting me.Their behavior and those nasty responses just gives a shiver within me, looking back i feel i should have left long back from these people and the relationships.Life seems like a roller coaster of emotions, some days you feel good about being alone doing your own stuff and then the memories come haunting you back.its like you want the memories to be erased but the not the lessons learnt.
    Unfortunately you need to go through the pains to learn the important lessons, this was meant to happen to make you the person you are today.

  4. #34
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    ok 2 good things happened in my life last week

    cleared AWS Speciality certification - [Register to see the link]
    and we won a million pounds deal to upgrade customer infrastructure, my contribution was widely appreciated across the company.
    this was one tough deal to get through so many presentations and queries from the customer, in the end was so exhausted to even do my regular workout and meditation routine.
    Need to get this into my diary, miss my dad, shared the news with my sister and Mom all are so happy.
    I truly feel like i have moved ON today but not without the learnings from past not without the failures not without the hurts the abuses....they have all shaped me into who i am.

    This small, tiny moment in my life is whats called happiness!!!

    Grateful to all the people who inspired and motivated me throughout.

    Life has just started again :)

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    That is great :)

  7. #36
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    thanks Jib :)

  8. #37
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    These past few days have been mixed there is this immense feeling to let go of that ex of mine, why keep her blocked.
    Am not acting on it, trying to occupy this mind as much as possible with work or something else like music, workouts, mediations.

    Her name doesnt bring bad feelings any more but the memories are still fresh, when you look back the whole relationship feels fake.
    As if she never loved me and just vanished once i was no longer useful for her. I don't know why she came into my life. we sometimes talk about learning the lesson through our failures.
    I dont know how to trust someone again. its normal to feel like this but someday i wish i would trust someone and she will not let me down and leave me.
    Once you get invested in some person it becomes super tough to see the real person and when they show their true identity you are just completely in a different zone altogether, Did i meet someone else before and who is this person, what her values, why would somebody change their nature so drastically towards you. Although the signs are there from the very beginning we have ignored them unfortunately its not your brain its your heart thats telling you to ignore it.
    Need to learn loving your self more so you dont get involved with such people.

    God bless.

  9. #38
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Am not sure whats happenning, woke up in the night kept thinking about that ex, why am i losing it offlate, i have been doing well personally but still there is this disappointment inside, why me why i had to go through all the abuse why i didnt see the real person in her and let myself damage in the whole process. Wish i could visit my therapist its been many months.
    Sometimes this continous WFH not much social life can really mess up this mind.
    Am up from early morning sitting on the office laptop and typin this. Watched some netflix and youtube videos to change this frame of mind but nothing ticks for now.
    its too cold here, dont feel like cooking going to have some bread and cheese on it.

  10. #39
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Spoke to Mom couldnt keep on working she asked why i was not speaking much today, i just kept doing hmm for everything.
    Something is weird about what am going through, is this because i have not been out for a while due to infections rising around or just plain anxiety disappointment, sadness all working overtime within me.

  11. #40
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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