Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst ... 23456 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 53

Thread: How soon is soon?

  1. #41
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,951
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Celine2
    I will have to greet him so I just want to try to act normal... it makes it a bit difficult for me..
    I know. That's the worst.

    It may help to imagine how you would want your best friend, or your mom, or your sister to succeed in this situation and follow suit.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    3,680
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Celine2
    Thanks everyone for the good advice. The problem is that I may see him every once in a while in some gatherings. I will have to greet him so I just want to try to act normal... it makes it a bit difficult for me..
    Are these work or professional gatherings? Or social only?

    I'd treat him like you would an obnoxious client or someone you should get along with on a working level but nothing more. Once the meet and greet is finished (greeting each other at the gathering), excuse yourself to speak with others or stay for small talk and then excuse yourself to mingle elsewhere.

  3. #43
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    31
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Are these work or professional gatherings? Or social only?

    It is social but I cannot avoid them for the time being. It is not often either.

    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'd treat him like you would an obnoxious client or someone you should get along with on a working level but nothing more. Once the meet and greet is finished (greeting each other at the gathering), excuse yourself to speak with others or stay for small talk and then excuse yourself to mingle elsewhere.

    Rose, we have ended this on amicable terms and he has taken distance as I have (even though him taking distance that quickly surprised me considering how head over heels he was over me but it feels better...). With that said, I am not generally capable of treating men I have been with like I would an obnoxious client :)

  4. #44
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    31
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I know. That's the worst.

    It may help to imagine how you would want your best friend, or your mom, or your sister to succeed in this situation and follow suit.
    I just want to treat him like an acquaintance, be my normal happy self as I have no feelings for him. I do not resent him either to be honest. That is just how I am. But I was angry and flabbergasted when he revealed to me about the gf after hours and hours of talking and after getting me hooked...

  5.  

  6. #45
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,951
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Celine2
    him taking distance that quickly surprised me considering how head over heels he was over me
    Just goes to show the actual depth of his feelings! What a good pretender he is ;)

  7. #46
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    31
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Just goes to show the actual depth of his feelings! What a good pretender he is ;)
    Yea all this after the love bombing and showing himself as the serious man willing to have a family.. and then you just wonder what kind of an unstable person he is? Was he wishing to have me on the sidelines? Was he maybe trying to see if it is possible to get laid? I just don't get it... I hope in the future, I will be able to spot his kind more quickly...

  8. #47
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    31
    Gender
    Female
    I know it is none of my business but I do feel bad for the other woman and really hope she will see him for who he is...

  9. #48
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,951
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Celine2
    Yea all this after the love bombing and showing himself as the serious man willing to have a family.. and then you just wonder what kind of an unstable person he is? Was he wishing to have me on the sidelines? Was he maybe trying to see if it is possible to get laid? I just don't get it... I hope in the future, I will be able to spot his kind more quickly...

    There is another poster on this forum who faced a situation similar to yours: talking to a guy for a few weeks, going on a few dates. Then the conversations started to take on a more sexualized turn and she started wondering about his intentions. Her main worry is that she might get used for sex.

    Have you seen her thread?

    [Register to see the link]

    I referred her to your thread, as it's a good example of how people can be so unpredictable and rotten (even when you think you know them).

    You were right to listen to the little voice of concern that you had. It's the only weapon you have against his kind. They disguise themselves so well.

    Obviously, the truth is bewildering and hurtful. But imagine how much worse it would be for you if you had suppressed your concerns and your values!

  10. #49
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    31
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    There is another poster on this forum who faced a situation similar to yours: talking to a guy for a few weeks, going on a few dates. Then the conversations started to take on a more sexualized turn and she started wondering about his intentions. Her main worry is that she might get used for sex.

    Have you seen her thread?

    [Register to see the link]

    I referred her to your thread, as it's a good example of how people can be so unpredictable and rotten (even when you think you know them).

    You were right to listen to the little voice of concern that you had. It's the only weapon you have against his kind. They disguise themselves so well.

    Obviously, the truth is bewildering and hurtful. But imagine how much worse it would be for you if you had suppressed your concerns and your values!
    Thank you Jibralta, I read her thread and responded to her. She looks like to have the same concerns as me... I hope she will read my thread, it is 'interesting' how my story evolved and how I was thinking merely a few weeks ago that I may have found the one... ugh it really sucks especially when you are in your mid thirties and have always looked for someone serious in life...

  11. #50
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    51,775
    Originally Posted by Celine2
    I just want to treat him like an acquaintance, be my normal happy self as I have no feelings for him. I do not resent him either to be honest. That is just how I am. But I was angry and flabbergasted when he revealed to me about the gf after hours and hours of talking and after getting me hooked...
    I'm sorry he lied to you - but also make sure not to let yourself get "hooked" after only a few dates.
    I always wanted marriage from my early 20s. Took me to my late 30s to find the one for me. Who I had dated in the past! We started dating right around my 39th bday. I had to become the right person to find the right person. Part of that was accepting responsibility for my choices.

    Try not to do so much talking (not sure if this was talking prior to meeting?) - act instead -meet, go on dates (after the virus situation or socially distanced) - get to know in person and not by "talking" IMO.

Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst ... 23456 LastLast

Videos


Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems

Friendship Between Men and Women Often Involves Attraction

Infidelity

Most Women Rather Not Date Unemployed Men
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •