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Thread: How soon is soon?

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    I agree 100%. Get away from this person. He is cheating on his gf with you and using you both for his own selfish reasons.

    Do not tolerate this one bit.

    Thank God, you were being smart and taking it slow. A good lesson for all singles, for sure.

    Know that this guy is no good and you can and will do better next time.

    hang in there!
    Thank you Lambert. I feel horrible especially after what he has built and all the discussions we had had... I need time to understand this as such a thing had never happened to me. I mean he knew I was a serious woman (he told me earlier that it was one of the things he had appreciated), then why would you approach that kind of a woman if you have someone else in your life?

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Cheaters are selfish. Look at what he was doing to her. She is probably a fine woman also.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Look at what he was doing to her. She is probably a fine woman also.
    Agreed.

    Originally Posted by Celine2
    He told me afterwards that there are serious obstacles in his relationship with his girlfriend and sees in me 'qualities' he has been looking for all his life.
    That's the typical cheater bait: sympathy and flattery. Don't fall for it.

    Originally Posted by Celine2
    Go figure if he is really honest...
    He is most definitely not honest, as his behavior with you has demonstrated.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Celine2
    Thank you Lambert. I feel horrible especially after what he has built and all the discussions we had had... I need time to understand this as such a thing had never happened to me. I mean he knew I was a serious woman (he told me earlier that it was one of the things he had appreciated), then why would you approach that kind of a woman if you have someone else in your life?
    Because he wishes he could be good enough for someone like you.

    I consider myself a good person, too. And sometimes I attract broken people. Its taken me a long time to learn. That sometimes we attract bad people. Not because they are like us. Quite the opposite. They desperately need what we have.

    But good for you, you see his true colors and you bailed... keep going! someone better will come along!

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I have a different take. I think this is too generous for him:

    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Because he wishes he could be good enough for someone like you.
    I think that someone like him is somewhat sociopathic in nature.

    He has high self esteem and little to no self respect.

    Meaning, he believes he is good enough for her, whether he meets her standards or not.

    In fact, when it comes to standards, he has none. That's why he can so easily pretend to conform with hers.

    Originally Posted by Lambert
    They desperately need what we have.
    But only because they're parasites and they feed off of it.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Celine2
    So after a few dates and after building up so much with me, after being head over heels for me, he just told me yesterday how he is attracted to me, interested in me but has a girlfriend in another city... *sighs* Needless to say, I was not suspecting such a thing as he was acting totally like a single man and I had started to develop feelings for him... He then went on to say that he has 'problems' with her that cannot be resolved and would break up once they see each other... I am just speechless.
    Brush it off. There are better out there. Don't be surprised there are usually 80% of people like that and 20% who are genuine. Some will fall in a gray area and you'll have to decide for yourself what to do in situations like that down the line. There's no cut and dry plan for every person you meet.

    When I say brush it off, don't internalize it or think you did anything to deserve meeting a rotten apple. They're just there. Rolling around. A bit like carbon monoxide in the air. It exists, we're surrounded by it in smaller or larger quantities depending where we're at in life but don't consume in large doses or ratios. Just roll over those lousy apples and keep cruising.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I have a different take. I think this is too generous for him:



    I think that someone like him is somewhat sociopathic in nature.

    He has high self esteem and little to no self respect.

    Meaning, he believes he is good enough for her, whether he meets her standards or not.

    In fact, when it comes to standards, he has none. That's why he can so easily pretend to conform with hers.



    But only because they're parasites and they feed off of it.
    You make good point, Jibs!

  9. #38
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Cheaters are selfish. Look at what he was doing to her. She is probably a fine woman also.
    Yea, the first thing that I told him was that I would never want to hurt another woman's feelings. He is confidently playing with the feelings of two women.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I have a different take. I think this is too generous for him:



    I think that someone like him is somewhat sociopathic in nature.




    But only because they're parasites and they feed off of it.
    Though I do not like to label people but after what you wrote here and comparing to what I have seen I do believe he might really be sociopathic and someone who lacks empathy too.. I don't know if the lack of empathy fits into the 'sociopathic' thing.

  11. #40
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    Thanks everyone for the good advice. The problem is that I may see him every once in a while in some gatherings. I will have to greet him so I just want to try to act normal... it makes it a bit difficult for me..

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