Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Dating during corona is HARD

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    265

    Dating during corona is HARD

    Hi All-Met someone really attractive on hinge. On my bio I specifically said "Something you should know about me is I won't message you first", so he messaged me back in late march, a emoji with sunglasses, then I replied to him with another one and then he officially asked me a question to get the convo going. We were talking back and forth for a week straight, then I gave him number and said if he ever wanted to facetime me, he was welcome to.

    It took him awhile, but he finally messaged me saying sorry for the delay via whatsapp in APRIL. Didnt pay too much to it, I messaged him back and we were again, non stop talking but then he was always rejected me putting the idea of video calls saying he was going to play online poker, or that it would be best to wait till after Covid 19. So I concluded he was fake and stopped talking with him.

    A month goes by, and he writes me checking in on me to ask how I was doing since I got furloughed one of the last things I told him), I thanked him for checking in on me, and he said I was "too polished" not to be successful. That it "seems to be your defining characteristic". As flatterered as I was, I like yeah okay.. and then he finally FINALLY asked me when i wanted to do a virtual happy hour with him. We spoke that night, I finally confirmed he was real.. Ill be honest I was a little nervous, I had facetimed another guy before him also from hinge and I wasnt nearly this nervous but as soon as I saw this guy I just went blank and think I did well in continuing conversation but I was just so attracted to him it was hard focusing. Overall, I think it went OKAY. I cut it short, just to seem hard to get but I dont know if maybe he took it as that I wasnt enjoying the conversation!? We agreed to keep in tough, he said it was "nice to meet" me. He's actually been a very busy guy during these times so maybe I'm overthinking the out of this, which is why maybe he only writes me in increments of MONTHS but...

    Point is, I want to facetime him again sometime soon, I sent him some music he would like the day after, & he replied to me promptly, and then he sent me his instagram, I followed him and he followed me back. Im just so confused, this guy is a little older than me and for some reason Im fascinated by him but I'm terrified to ask him for another happy hour meetup. Do you think I have nothing to lose and just ask him? Or is my answer clear, should I move on.. as he didnt text me first after our first virtual date. HELPPPP.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,735
    Gender
    Female
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you are that interested, contact him!

    Tho it did occur to me that maybe he's married or living with someone and that's why you dont hear from him too much. Have you considered that?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,794
    He invited you last time yeah? It’s your turn, ask. But ask assuming that the third invite needs to come from him and there is always a possibility that it won’t come so don’t hold your breath.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    265
    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you are that interested, contact him!

    Tho it did occur to me that maybe he's married or living with someone and that's why you dont hear from him too much. Have you considered that?
    He lives by himself, but his job involves him to be very busy especially during this time. So what he always tells me is that he's mostly on the phone with his clients etc.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,245
    Sounds to me like he's trying to keep it real and the dating online thing is not real, along with the voice calls.

    How much older are we talking?

    Ask him but take things with a pinch of salt and don't take anything personally if he's not into frequent online or video calls.

    Is there any reasoning behind the comment about not messaging someone first? It's good practice learning to take rejection and not taking it too hard. I ask because I'm trying to understand why you'd say something like that - you seem insecure and that can draw or attract a lot of weirdos or people who prey on that. Just be careful and keep safe.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 05-19-2020 at 03:34 AM.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    2,122
    “he said I was "too polished" not to be successful. That it "seems to be your defining characteristic".

    This imo was NOT a compliment. And certainly nothing to be flattered by.

    This guy is taking the piss out of your bio , saying you won’t message first.

    Look at what he initially messaged you with ??! A “cool” emoji.
    And that’s all it took to get you to actually message him first lol

    Your bio is rude. But worse than that it says you are high maintenance.

    However , since his cool emoji , you have been doing the chasing!?!
    Asking him to FaceTime you , following his Instagram etc

    He is having a laugh at your expense.

    And really online what girl has to say a guy needs to message first. They always do anyway !!!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,320
    Gender
    Male
    Is he married? No one is too busy for what they really want.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,966
    You're not dating him. Until you meet someone in real life, its all just talk....they could be telling you anything.

    I caution you to be careful being super attracted and getting all jazzed about a guy you met on line and only know over the phone/internet.

    It sounds like you barely talk. So he is probably pursuing other women and contacting you in between.

    This might not be what you want to hear, but the reality check you need.

    Further, I agree with Billie.... your profile comment about not messaging first, is rude and insecure sounding. I think you'll attract a lot of guys that just want to prove they can get you to message them... hence the emoji. realize that is zero effort. Guys that send a hey or one word, are probably just fishing... casting a wide net of many messages to all women to see who bites.

    His comment about you being polished is a tuned to a negging comment. A ploy to get you to seek his approval. Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.

    Be weary of guys that don't put in a lot of effort and give too many compliments (they don't know you. This is a manipulation tactic).

    its cool to be willing to keep in touch until you're able to meet, but keep your feet on the ground. A good rule of thumb is like a tennis match... he reached out, you reach out next, then he does and so forth. Mirror his level of effort. if he takes a month to respind forget him....

    Keep chatting with other guys. I feel like too many people commit to one person, a person they havent even met yet. And that is a mistake. Its ok to only focus on one person to date at a time, but for on line, you gotta meet them in person and then date a little first.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,211
    Gender
    Female
    Well one piece of advice I have is that I don't think you should be playing games or playing "hard to get". If you were enjoying talking to him, then why end the conversation? I don't think it's desperate to ask him to FaceTime again. Also what are the current coronavirus restrictions in your country? In my state restrictions have eased off. You are now allowed to go for a walk, sit together in public places, get takeaway food and drinks. Five people can visit someone's house. Ten people can gather in a public place. I would recommend that if you can do literally anything in real life with this guy, then you should meet him in real life. Even if it's just walking.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    265
    Hi I agree completely, except that we're in new york city. One of the most infected states in America right now. So I'm a little afraid to do that although you are right, I should be afraid to ask again, theres no harm

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •