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Thread: Prenup

  1. #21

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    Abitbroken. The inheritance is the flat. No savings or we wouldn't have this issue. The property is worth quarter of a mil so it's worth while doing this to save it. It's for 3 years until her pensions start and she can support her self again and at that point the mortgage would be gone.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Ajns26
    Abitbroken. The inheritance is the flat. No savings or we wouldn't have this issue. The property is worth quarter of a mil so it's worth while doing this to save it. It's for 3 years until her pensions start and she can support her self again and at that point the mortgage would be gone.
    Then if the mortgage is done in three years, why not just pay part of mom's mortgage for three years as a favor? No mess that way. Or help mom refinance the mortgage -- Let's say the mortgage is $1500 per month - refinance it for more years at a monthly rate she can afford and put money on the principle when you can. You are making a mountain out of a molehill if mom only needs help for 3 years.

    if its worth that much money, maybe mom should sell it, buy a cheaper place and use the proceeds to live off of.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ajns26
    HI @LAMBERT yes we actually went out yesterday to look at a few places and decided on an area to move to :) we hadn't really discussed marriage or kids but when talking about the area to move to we were both referring to good schools for the kids.... I assumed we were on the same page. Otherwise there would be no point in looking at houses.
    Why would you a buy a place together but not discuss marriage?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Talk to an attorney and discuss trusts and much better ways of protecting your assets. For example pre nups are useless in the event of your death. Had you talked to the proper attorney about wills trusts and asset protection from divorce the prenuptial conversation would never have happened.

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  6. #25
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    I think it's only right for you protect your mothers interests which ultimately will become yours. Who knows what might happen in the future regarding your relationship! Money turns people's heads and hearts. I've experienced it from all sides. These people that say you shouldn't be considering going in to relationships thinking about what happens to your assets when it goes wrong have clearly never been through the financial ruin of a divorce separation. Take it from an old hand and do what needs to be done to protect your mothers flat. Its prudent & wise to do so.

  7. #26
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Danmarko
    I think it's only right for you protect your mothers interests which ultimately will become yours. Who knows what might happen in the future regarding your relationship! Money turns people's heads and hearts. I've experienced it from all sides. These people that say you shouldn't be considering going in to relationships thinking about what happens to your assets when it goes wrong have clearly never been through the financial ruin of a divorce separation. Take it from an old hand and do what needs to be done to protect your mothers flat. Its prudent & wise to do so.
    I may not have experienced divorce in my own relationship but my parents are divorced and my mom has been divorced twice and married three times . Believe me I hold no illusions ,however Iím not a pessimist either . I donít believe what happened with my parents is my destiny . Iíve been with my husband for 31 years and married for 26 of them. I know a lot of relationships that have lasted until death .

  8. #27
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Marriage is a legal contract. Prenups are just amendments to the legal obligations of the married parties. There are already laws on the books about what happens if that contract is dissolved. If you want to make different stipulations as a couple is that really such a bad thing, or is there a sense of true partnership and doing whatís best for one another in that act? I dunno.

    Anyways, is there any harm in owning that it wasnít very romantic of you to bring it up that way? That your head was in ďfinancial modeĒ but you do love her very much. I would take one for the team on this one. Pick your battles.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Regarding the prenup convo, I think it depends on the person. The future is always uncertain as is your current relationship. I think it's more a test of her character than anything. Don't marry someone who can't take something in their stride or gets overworked about faraway notions. This may be a red flag if your gf is unwilling to discuss certain topics with you. I'd approach the matter again without mentioning a prenup and speaking about your mum's needs instead. Discussing how you might go about this as a team and coming to an agreement on how to go forwards might make more sense to the both of you.

    You're in the middle here so stay as neutral as possible and look into more info on how to proceed.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 05-19-2020 at 01:11 AM.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I may not have experienced divorce in my own relationship but my parents are divorced and my mom has been divorced twice and married three times . Believe me I hold no illusions ,however Iím not a pessimist either . I donít believe what happened with my parents is my destiny . Iíve been with my husband for 31 years and married for 26 of them. I know a lot of relationships that have lasted until death .
    In an Ideal world we would all love to have a marriage that can last 31 years, till death us do part! However the reality is that a great number of marriages do fail leading to financial hardship and squabbling on both sides. It's not pessimistic to be prudent, especially when your dealing with your mothers investment and her future. As the flat would pass in to your name for the remainder of the mortgage there are many scenarios that could arise in the future that could leave both you & your mother facing hard times. Don't let a relationship/ marriage breakdown become one of them because you didn't take the necessary steps to protect yourselves.

  11. #30
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    I havenít read the replies.

    But all I can say is , why make a financial commitment to someone whom you wonít make a lifelong emotional commitment to? Someone who you havenít actually discussed life long goals with?

    The area you buy in might have great schools and amenities nearby but since you havenít discussed any of this with your gf , why assume thatís anything to do with you??

    You are arranging a financial commitment with someone who are emotionally involved with , yet she has an issue with your financial agreements with your trustworthy family???

    Do not marry her without a prenup. You hadnít really planned on marrying her anyway. If you had , wouldnít you have proposed by now??? Sounds like you had doubts before this?

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