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Thread: Co-worker attraction

  1. #1

    Co-worker attraction

    I am attracted to my friend and co-worker and I believe she is attracted to me.We have been working together for about 5 months and we had an instant connection from the time we met.She and I spend a lot of time together talking about personal things and she touches my arms and back a lot and recently she hugged me.I tell her she is beautiful and she giggles and blushes.I want to tell her how I feel but don't want to ruin a great friendship.What should I do ?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Isn’t it always a risk? I don’t think there’s any magic statement you could make, or specially rehearsed frequency of the sound waves in your voice that eliminates the possibility of discomfort when you lay your feelings on the line.

    That said you could always ask her over for dinner without a big monologue about your heart’s innermost recesses of emotion, heh. If she says no then could you carry on the friendship from your side? Despite the disappointment?

    Does your job have any policy against dating co-workers? What if she said yes and you started dating only to find that you aren’t actually compatible lovers? Would you be able to maintain professionalism? Would you be willing to work elsewhere if it was either really good or really bad with her?

    *If it was me* I’d personally ask her out if I thought there was a shot at a meaningful and lasting romance. Life is so short and what’s more important than love? However: if after an honest and thorough examination of my feelings I thought my desire was exclusively on a more, let’s say...”superficial” level? Then I would probably avoid the complications of a workplace tryst.

    Just ask her out if that’s what you’re going to do....save “telling her how you feel” for a time when you have some romantic experience together and a legitimate history/basis for the feelings. I think that’s the best way to mitigate the risk of “making it weird” if you decide to go for it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Go for a coffee but don't blurt out your feelings

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    The biggest cons of dating a co-worker are of course having to see the ex every day if it ends, and also that management won't appreciate you concentrating on flirting when you're supposed to be working. But if you can handle all of the above and the consequences, then go ahead and ask her out. Either you will find out that she's in fact into you, or isn't but likes the ego boost that you pay attention to her.

    Just so you know, you shouldn't worry about ruining a friendship. Male/female friendships when you feel romantic chemistry have an expiration date. Because when she gets a serious bf, he won't appreciate her being buddies with a guy who clearly has a crush on her and you will be placed to the back burner or totally shoved off the stove. The same would happen if you got a gf. It would then be the right thing to do to distance yourself from a female co-worker who you have the hots for.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    The biggest cons of dating a co-worker are of course having to see the ex every day if it ends, and also that management won't appreciate you concentrating on flirting when you're supposed to be working. But if you can handle all of the above and the consequences, then go ahead and ask her out. Either you will find out that she's in fact into you, or isn't but likes the ego boost that you pay attention to her.

    Just so you know, you shouldn't worry about ruining a friendship. Male/female friendships when you feel romantic chemistry have an expiration date. Because when she gets a serious bf, he won't appreciate her being buddies with a guy who clearly has a crush on her and you will be placed to the back burner or totally shoved off the stove. The same would happen if you got a gf. It would then be the right thing to do to distance yourself from a female co-worker who you have the hots for.
    that but have fun :)...be respectful and nice to her regardless of how it turns out.


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