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Thread: What do I do when my boyfriend blocks on everything after a big fight?

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    His behavior is unacceptable. He calls you stupid, curses at you and you're his verbal punching bag. Since he's sick and tired of you, do him and yourself a favor and call it quits. Break up with him. If he blocks you as usual, block him back and delete him from your life. He's abusing you. How much more abuse can you take from him? Kick him out of your life. Don't go to his place. Don't deal with him anymore. Block and delete him. You're done.

    He revealed his true, real despicable character to you. COVID-19 pandemic, lock down, quarantine did you a favor. Now is the time to block and delete him forever and permanently. Be dead serious.

    He doesn't exercise self control and whatever he spews out of his mouth or writes, is a reflection of his despicable character and mind. I've known people like him. He doesn't care. Don't hold onto anything because there's nothing to hold onto. He treats you with repeated nasty disrespect. You won't have any regrets because you need to tell yourself that you deserve to be treated as if you matter with common decency, common courtesy and utmost respect. Anything less is a real deal breaker.

    It's better to give yourself respect and peace by disassociating yourself from toxic people, men, him, etc. Be strong and tough. Never allow anyone to push you around and downgrade you.
    *sigh* is there any way for this to be fixed? I am taking the consideration of breaking up but I feel like theres something I can do to make him to listen to me about his character, on how he constantly pushes me away whenever we fight to almost resulting to break ups.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by seanelly
    *sigh* is there any way for this to be fixed? I am taking the consideration of breaking up but I feel like theres something I can do to make him to listen to me about his character, on how he constantly pushes me away whenever we fight to almost resulting to break ups.
    Ha! NO, he'll never change and he cannot be fixed! He is who he is. He treats you like garbage. Return the favor and dump him!

    Never waste your time, energy and money on a man who acts like a monster.

    Be kind to yourself. A break up creates peace for you and makes you feel safe and protected from harm and abuse. Estrangement is enforced boundaries.

    He calls you stupid, blocks you and acts disdainfully. It's your turn to block and delete him permanently. Be done with him. He's not worth it.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by seanelly
    we're talking right now and its really my fault for acting up on him. he still continues to curse at me in our language and im panicking because he is now resorting into a break up
    Just because you had a bad day doesn't mean you should be nailed to the cross/crucified. This is overkill. This is manipulation and abuse. The right guy would of handled it with understanding and asked you if you are ok. Your BF relishes in the control he has over you, knowing he can make you upset and feel bad. This guy is a jerk....he's mean and does it intentionally. That's not love, that's not respect...you putting up with it is low self worth. Come on now! you know you are better than this! This guy ain't worth your time or your head space.

    The only way to fix this is to dump him.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by seanelly
    hello cherylyn, I agree that he has a mistake of blowing the argument out of proportion but I feel like when I messaged him earlier in the morning I kinda threw a little fit on him. We both have the same college program and have the same schedule, our routine every morning was for me to wake him up for classes, that day was out of the ordinary; I somewhat told him to take the attendance himself (the favor) because I already took mine and Im having technical difficulties logging on to his attendance. In our messages earlier, he can tell that my tone was just y at this point.

    Tonight we talked but he is still mad and he started cursing at me in Tagalog and it really hit me hard, he said he is sick and tired of my attitude and even brought up as to why im being bullied before. He resorted to calling things off and I was begging him to stay calm, eventually he acted petty and went to sleep. He warned me that if I called, I'll get blocked and if i plan on going to his place, he wont open the door.

    When it comes to us arguing I always feel so tongue-tied and have nothing to say which just makes me look stupid infront of him. Even if I say that theres no need for him to say those things, he always says that he doesnt care. Im still holding on to what we have and lately this is maybe just because we barely see each other now due to quarantine, but at the same Im close to letting go and I have a fear for regretting if I let him go. The thought of it made me imagine how depressed I would be like how I experienced in my previous relationship.
    Why is this your responsibility, is he 5? Doesn't he know how to set an alarm?

    Honestly, I do not understand why you have allowed any of this for so long.

    He sounds like an abusive, disrespectful jerk. Dump him!

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Now that we know what was the favour he asked of you, I can't help but think it's very unreasonable for him to expect you to serve as his alarm clock when you had very little sleep (after he discovered that you had very little sleep!). I'm sorry, OP. I think a decent person would have brushed this off and laughed at the blooper. It's one attendance or one skipped attendance for class. To call off an entire relationship and verbally lash out at you is absurd and ridiculous.

    If you break up with him and feel sad, it's normal and it's ok. That feeling will pass and you'll move on to better things. Don't keep dating the same kind of abusive person though. Learn from the experience.

  7. #26
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    I know you want and hope he could change but he's very comfortable with his behaviors. Everytime he doesn't get what he wants from you, he humiliate and belittle you, he also threatens you. All those tactics to make you the inferior one who always does has he says.

    The problem is not the favour you didn't do. It would be "undestandable" for him to get upset if you were impatient with him. However, it is Never acceptable to insult you like he does and you should know that. Especially since you would Never do the same to him.

    If you want a healthy relationship, you have to behave in a healty way. Your behavior is very very unhealthy. You do not respect yourself , you stay with someone who block and unblock you as he wishes, you stay in this relationship at all cost, even your dignity...
    You can wish he changes but you know, at the end of the day, eventhough everybody (including myself) in this forum support you, you are the ONLY one who can take care of yourself. and by accepting this dynamic between you too, you are hurting your self.
    You have to change your ways. It has to be : " you either respect me, or we are done".
    Read on codependency, it will help you understand why you always feel guilty and accept bad treatment from that person ( and others , I'm sure).

    Nobody wants to change. It's so hard. But if you want to be happy and stop being bullied ( by him or others ) then you have to stand up for yourself. You can do it.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by seanelly
    *sigh* is there any way for this to be fixed? I am taking the consideration of breaking up but I feel like theres something I can do to make him to listen to me about his character, on how he constantly pushes me away whenever we fight to almost resulting to break ups.
    No, there is not.

    There is no problem for you to solve, nothing for you to do.

    There is nothing 'wrong' with him; this is merely how he is.

    If you stay, you will be stuck keeping after him for the duration of your relationship together.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    I know you want to fix this. The problem is his to fix. But he doesn't think its a problem because this is how he is.

    Here's YOUR choices

    1. put up with it and continue to damage yourself

    2. Dump him and find someone that is an a hole

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    is an a hole
    is NOT an a hole LOL!!

  11. #30
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    And in the mean time, at least stop begging, apologizing etc.

    In short, don't act like you're wrong when you're right for demanding respect. Ignore him when he disrespect you. Calmly Refuse to engage in any conversation where he still refuses to apologize.
    He threatens to break up? You tell him , well if you know you can't treat me well then that's the best decision.
    He's doing a power game right now: he threatens to break up, insult you so you will cave. He's weak. He's not strong enough to admit his mistakes and stop bullying you.

    Even if you're scared of him and to lose him. Stand up for your self. That's the only way bully stop bullying.

    He has to see that his tactics don't work anymore.

    Stop losing your time explaining to him how his behavior affects you. He knows. All those are talk for him. He continues because he always gets what he wants ( you cave , you forgive) .
    You teach people how to treat you by your actions.
    This time, don't let him get away with it.

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