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Thread: Dad cheating on mom?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Confront your father about your findings, but not your mother. It's his job to tell her. In fact you don't even know what it was or what it means.
    Originally Posted by skyman
    looked like a casual forum or dating site.

  2. #12
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    I have a different take on this than most posters here. I have a close relationship with my parents. We don't interfere with each other's relationships, but if my mom or dad accidentally finds that my S/O is cheating and just stays out of it and not let me know? I'd be pretty upset when I find out. Same thing with a close friend. Feels like some kind of betrayal if they could help me see a cheater but choose not to. There can be health consequences such as STDs as well.

    Your situation is a bit different as you don't know for sure if there's something going on. Also it's your mom and your dad, presumably two of the most important individuals in your life - no matter what you do it could be seen as picking sides and the one you didn't side with could become resentful. It is indeed a tricky situation and I think eventually only you and maybe your siblings know what's the best to do. How are your relationships with each of your parents? Do you think they are possibly having an open marriage? Do you think your mom would be the kind of person who has zero tolerance for infidelity or someone who would rather not know? I won't blame you for "snooping" though. Sometimes you see things accidentally and you can't just unsee them. Even if you don't say or do anything it has probably already stained your relationship with your dad unless both of you can fully forget this incident, but I doubt either will.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SophiaG
    I have a different take on this than most posters here. I have a close relationship with my parents. We don't interfere with each other's relationships, but if my mom or dad accidentally finds that my S/O is cheating and just stays out of it and not let me know? I'd be pretty upset when I find out. Same thing with a close friend. Feels like some kind of betrayal if they could help me see a cheater but choose not to. There can be health consequences such as STDs as well.

    Your situation is a bit different as you don't know for sure if there's something going on. Also it's your mom and your dad, presumably two of the most important individuals in your life - no matter what you do it could be seen as picking sides and the one you didn't side with could become resentful. It is indeed a tricky situation and I think eventually only you and maybe your siblings know what's the best to do. How are your relationships with each of your parents? Do you think they are possibly having an open marriage? Do you think your mom would be the kind of person who has zero tolerance for infidelity or someone who would rather not know? I won't blame you for "snooping" though. Sometimes you see things accidentally and you can't just unsee them. Even if you don't say or do anything it has probably already stained your relationship with your dad unless both of you can fully forget this incident, but I doubt either will.
    Really thoughtful response... a lot of what you said resonates with me.

  4. #14
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    As someone who had a parent cheat ( and yes caught them for sure) it is ugly. Stay out of it. I have a great close relationship with my mom and a once a year one with my dad. ( dad was the cheater amongst other things)

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  6. #15
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    OP, I have to wonder how old you are?

    100%- STAY OUT OF THIS!!!!!

    1. You have NOTHING to base anything on. You don't even know what you saw. Not to sound mean, but a lot of older people aren't great at operating computers. It is entirely possible it was just a pop up. You are making some serious assumptions based on nothing.

    2. It may have been porn, but who cares? In my experience and IMVHO, the majority of men look at porn.

    3. Parents and children should stay out of each other's sex lives. Period. It's creepy. Would you want your parents to know every single sexual thought, fantasy, experience of yours? And then TALKING to you about it if they disapprove? If the answer is no (as it ought to be) then you should stay out of this completely. You don't know what your parents sexual boundaries are with each other. Many women are fine with their husband looking at porn. Some are fine with it as long as they don't know about it. Some people have arrangements with each other that they just don't talk about. Example- I know a guy who swings with his wife- they are emotionally devoted to each other, but have a sexually open marriage. And their kids do NOT know about it! And incredible as it may sound to you, different couples have different definitions of what "cheating" is. Unless you absolutely without QUESTION know what those are (and you probably don't), it's none of your business. Some people have low sex drives and are fine with their partner exploring other options (real or fantasy) as long as they are devoted to them emotionally.

    Your parents are 50, they are grown ups. Leave this alone. No good can come from this.

  7. #16
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    Update: I noticed my dad has probably had this account since year 2009. The website says that he has logged more than 1400 hours by chatting, so approximately 20 minutes a day. I also noticed that at this site, he has a female friend added, who joined the site at the same day my dad did. Any thoughts, suggestions about it?

  8. #17
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    Your dad needs to password out his pc.

  9. #18
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    And what is that mean?

  10. #19
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skyman
    And what is that mean?
    So you canít snoop it.

  11. #20
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    Im sorry, but I dont get your point. I know it is not polite to snoop around, but isnt that a little bit weird? Cheating for 10 years and you are blaming me for snooping around?

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