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Thread: I ended it but now I regret it.

  1. #1
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    I ended it but now I regret it.

    Hey, so I was in a relationship with someone for around 4 months, I met this girl shortly after me and my ex of 3 years broke up.
    At first, I thought this girl was amazing and I really fell in love with the person I first met.

    As weeks passed I started to notice the effort wasn't really there, (she was working mad hours due to the Coronavirus) she used to argue with me whenever I expressed my feelings, if I mentioned my anxiety she used to say things like, "I've gone through worse stop dwelling on things" but when it was her anxiety playing up well it was a different story!

    She never used to really ask about my family or take interests in what I would like music etc, I ended it about 2 weeks ago, thinking she would fight for it and I was mistaken, she just had a go at me for not understanding how hard she works but to be fair, I did end it because work was her priority and she can't give me what I wantbut apparently that's me being manipulative.

    I just wasnt happy because I had a lot of things going on in my life too which she never sat down and helped me through it, I mentioned this and she said "well I did when we first got together but it didnt work for you, I'm gonna tell you how it is"

    We are still in contact but half the time she ignores me and I see her online, if I ignore her though she constantly messages me, rings me.
    When she is with other people she ignores me for hours but soon as she is alone, she talks properly.

    Drives me insane, I've seen her a couple of times too, we didn't have sex but we cuddled most of these times but when I did see her it was me bringing her food or helping her with something out of the goodness of my heart. For some reason I can't let her go and I have no idea what to do, everytime I bring up us or the relationship she will deflect the conversation and say she doesnt feel well.. can someone help me with advice cause I'm I'm about to lose my mind

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Dude it's not working, you did the right thing by ending it. There are plenty of more suitable fish to date in the sea. It's never a good idea to date someone who has anxiety too...you both end up deflecting/ignoring each other to get rid of the anxiousness. It will never work.

  3. #3
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    This relationship sounds one sided to me. YOU are the one who seems to be giving, giving, giving. She seems to be very self-centered (narcissistic), dismissive of your feelings and quite disrespectful. She undoubtedly devalues you, and you either don't realise it, or you are ignoring it? Red flag, my friend! Why are you so hooked on someone who treats you like a doormat? You allow yourself to be treated poorly by this woman because you care for her but she doesn't seem to reciprocate. There's take and give from both parties in a relationship so you are not being manipulative. She's selfish. Don't you see that??? You need to raise your expectations. Break all ties with her and work on healing yourself first. That takes time, and I think you jumped into this relationship way too quickly.

    Do yourself a huge favour and forget her. She needs all the attention to be focused on her. You don't need that drama in your life.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    You should not regret it let her go she is not that invested as you think she is.
    if you dont cut contact all this confusing communication will mess up with both her and your well being.

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  6. #5
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    You two were not compatible, OP.

    There is no point trying to revive this.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    This has some similarities to a 4 month thing I had when I was 19. He was the one who pursued me hot and heavy and after a few months it started dwindling, and he was very self-centered. Even with the jerky sides I saw of him, since he was extremely attractive and had a fun personality, I wanted it to work but did give an ultimatum which I didn't think would work out the way I thought it would, just like you.

    Given time and distance I was glad it didn't work out. You will too, so I suggest no contact so you can move on.

  8. #7
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    What is there to regret?

    You need to block and delete this woman. It will never work

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Rebounds often don't pan out long term for all the reasons you mention (finding fault, because you are really still pining over someone,etc.).

    Therapy would be a better solution than expecting someone you are dating 16 weeks to fix your stuff.
    Originally Posted by StokeCity1
    I was in a relationship with someone for around 4 months, I met this girl shortly after me and my ex of 3 years broke up.
    I had a lot of things going on in my life too which she never sat down and helped me through it

  10. #9
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    I dated a girl like this for 2 years and WISH I would've bailed after 4 months. You may regret it now but after enough time has passed, youll be glad you didnt stay with her

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You did the right thing for breaking up with her in the first place. I agree with others, both of you are incompatible. Both of you engage in mind games which is disdainful. Ignore, ghost, block and delete. It wasn't meant to be.

  12. 05-17-2020, 02:08 AM

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