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Thread: Ex still texts me even though she has a new guy

  1. #1

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    Ex still texts me even though she has a new guy

    Me and my ex split up around 6 weeks ago as a joint decision we was together for 5 years, for the first few weeks we talked sometimes but not a lot via text message.
    Last week i found out she had a new boyfriend as she put it on facebook, the guy is clearly a rebound and not her usual type, she must of met him just after we split. i didnt react, and then a few days later she sent me messages saying she was sorry because i shouldnt of found out like that. She then deleted it off her facebook bio, although left the relationship on as its still on the other guys.
    A joint friend that wanted us to get back together arranged for us to meetup, we met up and stupidly i begged for her back and gave her a ring, a few hours later she text me saying she didnt want to get back with me, i accepted it and was ready to go no contact, i told her that if she ever needed me ill always be their for her.
    The next morning she text me to see it i was okay, then that night texted me again, we ended up having a long conversation, she told me she loves the ring and is gonna wear it forever.
    I didnt speak to her the next day, then the following day she spoke to me again over text message, we discussed old holidays and stuff and she sent me loads of pictures of us 2 together.
    I obviously started thinking maybe shes having doubts and asked if she wanted to go for a walk and have a chat and she declined, the next day we didnt speak and then she added me on snapchat and posted a video or her and the new guy, i asked her if she was trying to rub it in my face, and she said ots not him (it definately was) she then deleted it.
    She then stopped replying to my messages, i assume she has gone to the new boyfreinds, i asked her if he knew we was still speaking and she said no because shes not doing anything wrong.

    I do still love her but i just dont understand why i feel shes leading me on when she flat out said she doesnt want me back, and why would she send me pics of us together and say shes wearing the ring forever.

    Have i got a chance here? Or is she playing sadistic games?

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    You need to not be available to her like this. You are not her gal pal. At the moment she has no need to get back with you. She's got the excitement of the new guy who probably is just a rebound but who knows, that's who's she's sleeping with anyway not you. She's then got you hanging around like a lost puppy offering her the world if she just gives you one more chance.

    It's not a good look and she's weening herself off you slowly but easily due to your eager availability and all of this leads to you being placed in the friendzone forever.

    If you want to have any chance ever again with this girl you have to walk away now and mean it. If you are to ever get back together it has to be initiated by her. Not by you being a sap.

    Tell her this is all to painful for you and you can't go on like this. You accept that she has another boyfriend now so you are cutting contact. If she changes her mind she knows where to find you. This is THE only way you might get her back..

    Few questions I'd like to ask if I may

    1) Why did you mutually split up?
    2) Did you want her back before she had another bf or only since finding out she had a new bf because our egos will mess us up badly if we let them.

    You could also search inside and ask yourself these questions.

  3. #3

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    Thanks for the advice.

    We split up because it sort of became boring and we did the same things all the time and it was just as lockdown was announced, i did want her back but managed to hide it, weve had previous breakups and got back together, in my head i thought that this would happen again i think.
    But yeah, it definately made me want her more seeing her with someone else. I have accepted shes with someone now and its less painful then it initially was, however i do still have love for her and would jump at the chance to get back with her.
    I know she will reply to my message that she didnt reply to on monday when shes back from his house and probably start texting me after that, or baiting me with pictures and stuff, so its difficult for me but i feel as if im being reeled in to be slayed, i feel like she wants me to beg but i know she will say no.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I just read the title....my advice block/delete, move on.

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  6. #5
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    Block and delete.

  7. #6
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    OP you admit you have broken up with each other in more than 1 occasion which I wasn't aware of before. I'd genuinely walk away.

    She probably does want you to beg but screw that. Get your stuff, block and delete as above.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's probably a good idea to end ties or communication with her while she's seeing someone else. You did try though and it didn't work. Be at peace with that because if you hadn't you might have been wondering what if. Now you've tried and it's time to make peace with that.

    The ring is now hers to keep so there's no point regretting it. Part with that the way you would with her and the relationship as a whole. It's something that has brought you happiness at one point but not anymore. It's time to acknowledge that. Take care of yourself.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 05-15-2020 at 08:44 PM.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Block and delete her in every way possible.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Jonny346
    Me and my ex split up around 6 weeks ago as a joint decision we was together for 5 years, for the first few weeks we talked sometimes but not a lot via text message.
    Last week i found out she had a new boyfriend as she put it on facebook, the guy is clearly a rebound and not her usual type, she must of met him just after we split.
    I hate to tell you this, but she more than likely has known him a lot longer than you think. Hard to hear, I realize, but it's more probable that she met him well before you two broke up. It would be naive to assume otherwise, unfortunately. That doesn't necessarily mean she cheated on you, but to go from a 5-year-relationship to a new relationship that she's ready to advertise on social media all in 6 weeks? It's awfully indicative of something brewing before you two officially called it quits.

    What's happening now? Well, she probably feels guilty. Guilty for moving on and so publicly, knowing you would see it. And she isn't sure if it will work out with him, so she wants to be sure you're still there in case it doesn't. I don't think her contact is coming from an honorable place.

    It's time to close the door. The chances that this will work out well for you are very slim, and you would be better-served by understanding that you two have met the end of your chapter together. Time to start working on a new one.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Jonny346
    Thanks for the advice.

    We split up because it sort of became boring and we did the same things all the time and it was just as lockdown was announced, i did want her back but managed to hide it, weve had previous breakups and got back together, in my head i thought that this would happen again i think.
    But yeah, it definately made me want her more seeing her with someone else. I have accepted shes with someone now and its less painful then it initially was, however i do still have love for her and would jump at the chance to get back with her.
    I know she will reply to my message that she didnt reply to on monday when shes back from his house and probably start texting me after that, or baiting me with pictures and stuff, so its difficult for me but i feel as if im being reeled in to be slayed, i feel like she wants me to beg but i know she will say no.
    So the split was not a joint decision like you initially said. It was just her ending it again like she has done previously. And you went along with it like you always did before.

    The dumper experiences a void in their life just as much as the person dumped. She is partly filling that void with a new guy and of course when she feels a void again she will contact you. But only to help herself get past the hurdle and loss.

    She is not considering you at all when she contacts you. Itís all about her and her moving in. Itís helping her to move on by having contact with you when or if she needs it. Eventually she wonít need it and there will be no contact.
    And only then will you start to get over the break up because you will be forced to due to no contact.


    So instead of helping her get through it, why donít you help yourself?
    Itís over. Staying in contact serves no purpose.
    She is not coming back , rebound or no rebound. She is taking the steps that work for her to move on.

    You need to take the steps in order for you to move on. That sounds like no contact to me.
    So delete and block and start looking after yourself!

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