Anxiety Help - Journal

No problem! I checked out of the news since Sunday on the weekend, reading articles late at night when I'm usually in a calm or zen space and after I've sprinkled aromatherapy oils all over the place or put a whole lot in a diffuser. I don't have much self-care myself but I find aromatherapy is one thing that alleviates feelings of stress and worry for me. I stick to eucalyptus and peppermint or some mix of and stay away from the heavier, muskier scents. I find those give me headaches or make me sneeze. It's very easy to become overwhelmed with what's going on. On top of the muscle aches, I'm wondering if the anxiousness or anxiety is contributing to muscle tension and soreness also in your neck, shoulders and back areas. Are you getting headaches also?

I don't talk to many people either but I did recently join in on calls with a group of women to discuss intersectional feminism and meet up with friends one on one occasionally I also started reading non-fiction which is a bit different for me. I'm usually too busy or occupied to read much but have found myself curling up with a book. I still can't get into fiction but non-fiction works and helps give me different perspectives, sort of the way conversations do when talking with others. Really great and humbling. I'm learning a lot and maybe also reforming a few ideas I used to have. I think a lot of people are worried and struggling also with families and work, feeling a lot of weight with one or both parents going back to work.

Cat litter seems heavy to keep lugging back and forth. Can you do Amazon recurring orders for cat litter?

I have to be very careful with essential oils with my cat. I bought some lavender and then found out it is toxic to my cat. So I gave away my diffuser and my oils. I do use an ambient sounds app to help with sleep and I also watch YouTube videos. For some reason that calms me down so I'm able to sleep.

I would not be surprised if the body aches are psychosomatic or the result of tension from my anxiety. It's actually joint pain rather than muscle pain. I've had trouble with my hands before but the elbow pain is new. And shoulder pain has happened before also. My former college roommate was having some psychological problems and she couldn't use her hands for some reason. Her doctor attributed it to her mental health issues.

My head does ache somewhat. I've been taking my temperature frequently over the past few days and depending on the time of day it ranges from about 98.2 degrees to about 99.4 degrees. It's higher in the late afternoon when it's hotter in my apartment. So, no real fever.

So, I know from "insider" information that ordering anything online that comes in large bags and is a granular product doesn't usually ship successfully. And they only sell the scoopable litter which I don't use. I placed a pickup order and included a bag of litter so hopefully they include it this time. Last two times they left it out saying it was unavailable (although it was on the shelf inside the store...)

Just came home from my Covid test. I was afraid it was a walk up, but no! It was a drive up, which was perfect. It seems like it was the same test I had last time except this time they had me gather my own sample. And they had me cough three times first. I am supposed to have the results in about 5 days.

I still feel lousy...REALLY achy, sore throat, feel feverish although I am not running a fever (98.8), kind of headachy. I do tend to feel unwell when it's hot outside and we are experiencing what is for this area a heat wave. It's nothing like when I lived in the desert but the heat is different due to being less than a mile from the ocean. Just feel crappy overall. But I am relieved to have the test done. I like knowledge; if by some weird chance I do have Covid I will have to shelter at home, get grocery pickup and rely on my kids to bring me perishables and leave them at my door. Hoping, of course, to have another "Not Detected" result.

I really hope you are ok. ❤️

Thank you Seraphim.

This isn't the first time I've felt lousy in the last few months. I tend to feel not so great in the summer normally, so while I'm not totally surprised I'd rather be feeling well. Heat wave is to continue for about another week or so.

Thank you Seraphim.

 

This isn't the first time I've felt lousy in the last few months. I tend to feel not so great in the summer normally, so while I'm not totally surprised I'd rather be feeling well. Heat wave is to continue for about another week or so.

I hear you. We are in a heat wave too for the second week. It was 42 Celsius here today I couldn’t let any of my daycare kids outside.

Is your new med an SSRI?

I hear you. We are in a heat wave too for the second week. It was 42 Celsius here today I couldn’t let any of my daycare kids outside.

 

Is your new med an SSRI?

It's the generic version of Celexa, so I think so. I just got the delivery today so I am going to start it tomorrow.

It's the generic version of Celexa, so I think so. I just got the delivery today so I am going to start it tomorrow.

My dr wants to change my med but I become psychotic if I have SSRI’s so he wants to try Effexor for me.

Today is one of those "good news, bad news" days. The good news:

"Thank you for visiting one of the ____ _____ City COVID-19 testing centers. Your COVID-19 test was NEGATIVE, meaning that the coronavirus was NOT detected during your test."

Great news, of course.

The not so great news? I got an email telling me that there will be workers coming into my apartment next Tuesday to make "repairs". Of course they didn't give a time but rather a 9 hour window. Apparently it's in the bathroom which isn't as big an area, but it's still upsetting because I will have to lay plastic down on the floors and carpet and after they go I will have to disinfect everything ONCE AGAIN. At least I had advance notice so I can get ready.

Seems like one thing after another. Just when I think I can relax, I can't. Super frustrating.

I'm sorry they have to enter again!

I'm sorry they have to enter again!

I get it, it's an old building and things will need repair. The first email they sent me just gave a date, a 9 hour window and said "repairs will be made" with no indication what the repairs are or in what part of the apartment they would be done. So I had to ask. I'll have to lay plastic down on the floor and carpet the night before and move my cat's things (food and water dishes and litter box) into my bedroom as her little area is right next to the bathroom. Also move all my things out of the bathroom because I have seen maintenance workers use my towels to wipe their grimy hands and they step all over my bathroom rug with their filthy work boots.

At least I have a can of Lysol spray so I can spray the bathroom down after they leave.

I took the Celexa for the first time this morning. I understand I won't feel any effects for a couple of weeks. I'm curious to see how my body and mind will react to it.

So I feel a little weird. Kind of jumpy, maybe a bit lightheaded. I have a pulse oximeter and my rate is between 77 and 80 so not super elevated, just a bit. Feel a little spacy.

I have to drive to drop off a package and then pick up a grocery order. I was going to drive about 40 minutes away to do some sightseeing and maybe a hike, but maybe that's not such a great idea until I get used to this medication.

My husband said it generally takes 6 to 8 weeks to get the full benefit and lessening of symptoms. He has been on 5 different SSRI’s over 25 years and his last one for about 10 years I think. He takes 100 mg of Zoloft.

I figured it would be a few weeks. I feel a bit better, not so jumpy.

I feel OK so I dropped off my UPS package, picked up my grocery order and it's such a nice day so I decided to go ahead and take a drive. My car is on a 1/4 tank of gas so I needed to buy more. But, ding dong me forgot my debit card and driver license at home! So I just came back home.

It's probably for the best because holy cow, there are a LOT of cars on the road today! Monday might be a better bet.

I really would love for things to get better, virus wise. For obvious reasons like not wanting people to be sick and way too many deaths, but also for selfish reasons. My neighborhood is so awesome, so many little shops, cute little cafes, coffee houses, great restaurants, the beach, kayaking, etc. And I won't do any of it because the virus is running wild here. I've managed to stay safe so far and I need to keep it that way. I sure will love to be able to explore my neighborhood once it's safe to do so.

Glad you are COVID free!

Glad you are COVID free!

Thank you!

I am going to do my best to stay that way. Doing quick as possible trips to grocery shop, laundromat trips involve going in to disinfect the table and machines and then sitting in my car while clothes wash, then going back in to quickly disinfect the dryer and sitting in my car while the clothes dry, then run in to pack them into a laundry bag and back home! I probably spend a total of about 25-30 minutes in the building. Same with grocery shopping, I spend about 20-30 minutes inside the store. Pharmacy delivers. I had the perfect setup today to buy gas, no one at the pump island I was going to use but alas, forgot my debit card...

I got my son to wear a shield today. MAJOR accomplishment. MAJOR. Face coverings are mandatory here now as of 12 PM. They are trying to prevent a second wave.

I got my son to wear a shield today. MAJOR accomplishment. MAJOR. Face coverings are mandatory here now as of 12 PM. They are trying to prevent a second wave.

I hear you and I can just hear those who are judgey not believing that it could be that hard. i'm certain it could be!

I'm glad he's willing to wear his face covering. It's got to be so hard for kids and those who might react in a certain way to covering their faces.

Feeling really discouraged today. Very close to feeling hopeless. I look at the way things are in this country and every day the news is worse and worse. No one seems to be doing anything about trying to stop this virus. It's every person for themselves. And those of us who are trying to protect ourselves and others are at the mercy of those who choose not to. I can be as careful as possible but if I encounter someone who's infected and not being considerate of others, all my self-protection can go right out the window.

It's such a helpless feeling.

And I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. Three months ago I thought this would all be under much better control, not getting worse every day. So that means people shouldn't be seeing family and friends outside of their own household (although again, many are ignoring this recommendation), I'm not going to restaurants and shops for obvious reasons, no traveling...it's just a very bleak outlook. And I am supposed to be trying to work on overcoming my fears, but how do you do that when what you're afraid of is not only very real but getting worse every day?

I can only imagine how many people are feeling exactly as I am feeling. Discouraged, borderline hopeless, helpless, unable to find anything to look forward to...

Please, someone in our country's leadership has got to step up and start taking charge. This can't continue.

So apparently this medication can cause depression to get worse before it gets better. I'm certainly experiencing this. From what I read, it's about 2 weeks of worsening depression. Holy cow, two more weeks of feeling almost despondent...

I am trying to extend my leave two more weeks. It's supposed to take 4-6 weeks on the medication before it truly is effective, so 3 weeks would not be enough. Hopefully it gets approved...because I can hardly even motivate myself to get showered and dressed let alone go to work for 12 hour shifts.

So apparently this medication can cause depression to get worse before it gets better. I'm certainly experiencing this. From what I read, it's about 2 weeks of worsening depression. Holy cow, two more weeks of feeling almost despondent...

 

I am trying to extend my leave two more weeks. It's supposed to take 4-6 weeks on the medication before it truly is effective, so 3 weeks would not be enough. Hopefully it gets approved...because I can hardly even motivate myself to get showered and dressed let alone go to work for 12 hour shifts.

I am sorry you are experiencing these affects it can happen but the good affects take time.

Thank you for your continued support, Seraphim.

I've read about others who experienced the same thing. They say yes, the first two weeks are brutal but once you come out the other side it's totally worth it.

I'm wondering if I should take the medication at night? I feel the worse in the morning so I wonder if taking it at bedtime would be better. Question for my doctor, I suppose.

Thank you for your continued support, Seraphim.

 

I've read about others who experienced the same thing. They say yes, the first two weeks are brutal but once you come out the other side it's totally worth it.

 

I'm wondering if I should take the medication at night? I feel the worse in the morning so I wonder if taking it at bedtime would be better. Question for my doctor, I suppose.

You can also call the pharmacist they know way more about medications than doctors.