Anxiety Help - Journal

Thank you, unfortunately not so much.

 

My symptoms are so weird. My head feels foggy and there's some pressure (I wouldn't call it pain) in my sinus area, I feel congested although I can breathe through my nose just fine, my throat is scratchy feeling (again, not painful and I can swallow just fine with no pain), my joints ache (this is everyday for me, not new), I feel fatigued, somewhat weak and somewhat lightheaded and I have the runs. What the heck could all that mean???

 

I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to schedule an appointment. I suspect he'll order blood work. I do have thyroid disease so it's possible my levels are off, but that doesn't explain the runs. Blood work should tell the story.

Ugh. I hope you find out what it is!

As you may know, I am temporarily living with my brother. Yesterday he twice made cracks referencing gay people. Now, he knows that one of my kids is gay and in a same-sex relationship. I don't believe he was trying to hurt me, but once he used the term "flaming" and the other time he used a 3 letter slur that starts with the letter "F". I'm not offended but more hurt that he didn't seem to care that it might bother me to hear him use those terms.

I don't believe he's anti-gay or homophobic and he loves my kids. But that hurt.

He's been more "chippy" toward me lately, which indicates pretty clearly he is getting tired of me being here. I hope I get hired for one of the jobs I've applied for soon so I can move out asap.

Hugs, Bolt. Sorry to hear about the slur. Not okay. It amazes me that people can have so much discrimination against others yet remain blinded to their own loved ones. I look at it as a very interesting and peculiar defense mechanism, mostly based around the emotion of despair (last resort in times of frustration) - one that both seeks to accept that which is within the family but to also divide in society. It's dysfunctional. Having lived in different places, I can say that this happens across the board in multi-nationalities and other places aside from North America. If only there was a unified and more consistent approach for more acceptance. Maybe ironically then we'd have a lot less despair and defensiveness in the first place and more celebration of differences.

Hope you get the job you want too.

As you may know, I am temporarily living with my brother. Yesterday he twice made cracks referencing gay people. Now, he knows that one of my kids is gay and in a same-sex relationship. I don't believe he was trying to hurt me, but once he used the term "flaming" and the other time he used a 3 letter slur that starts with the letter "F". I'm not offended but more hurt that he didn't seem to care that it might bother me to hear him use those terms.

I know right now with you living there, it's not the ideal time to say anything, but omg, I would be enraged if that were me and my son.

Yeah, I am a mama bear, always have been...if someone says anything remotely offensive concerning my son, the claws come out.

I have always taught my son that being gay is a natural occurrence and that if he ever had the idea that he might like the same sex, that it was no problem with me at all.

I fully accept it and I support gay rights. So for someone to be using the 'f' word around me, ESPECIALLY if my son had come out, I would be enraged..no doubt about it.

Hang in there, bid your time till you can move out of there. Sending lots of sympathy your way. I hope he (your brother) behaves himself.

As you may know, I am temporarily living with my brother. Yesterday he twice made cracks referencing gay people. Now, he knows that one of my kids is gay and in a same-sex relationship. I don't believe he was trying to hurt me, but once he used the term "flaming" and the other time he used a 3 letter slur that starts with the letter "F". I'm not offended but more hurt that he didn't seem to care that it might bother me to hear him use those terms.

 

I don't believe he's anti-gay or homophobic and he loves my kids. But that hurt.

 

He's been more "chippy" toward me lately, which indicates pretty clearly he is getting tired of me being here. I hope I get hired for one of the jobs I've applied for soon so I can move out asap.

I'm so sorry and hope you can move out soon. Agree with Sherry, completely.

Are you feeling better today, Batya? I am still on edge..can't help it.

Are you feeling better today, Batya? I am still on edge..can't help it.

Yes, doing ok - being busy/physically -helps a lot. Also that my son has the week off next week so no virtual school. It takes a toll on all of us!

I'm sorry you're stressed!

So my cousin sent out a text saying the Christmas family gathering is cancelled. However she excluded me, my kids and the other cousins who said they weren't comfortable attending from the group text. In the text she said (according to my brother, who was included) that because Boltnrun and Cousin X and Cousin Y said they weren't coming they were just going to cancel the whole thing. I feel those bus tires running me over! She did also say "coronavirus sucks" so my brother took that to mean she wasn't exactly BLAMING us. But why exclude us? And why exclude my kids, who hadn't yet decided if they were going? Because they're MY kids???

My family is getting increasingly weird. And I thought I was the weird one, what with my mental illness and whatnot. (that was tongue in cheek in case it didn't translate ;p)

I will do something quiet with my kids instead, physically distanced of course. I won't take a chance of putting my kids and my son's spouse at risk so I will be masked up and I won't hug them. It's OK...I'll hug them when it's safe.

I did have a nice day today...met up with my son and his spouse for a walk in the botanic garden.

Sounds lovely at the botanic garden, Bolt.

My cousin, who I am to be moving to a house share with soon, just messaged me saying she is being admitted to the hospital with pneumonia, possibly due to Covid. She is most concerned about possibly passing it along to her husband and child if she does in fact have it.

I'm worried about her...

My cousin, who I am to be moving to a house share with soon, just messaged me saying she is being admitted to the hospital with pneumonia, possibly due to Covid. She is most concerned about possibly passing it along to her husband and child if she does in fact have it.

 

I'm worried about her...

Ohdear .... hoping for the best bolt , keep us posted ....remember there is so so much they can do now ok . Try and keep yourself as calm as you can .

My cousin, who I am to be moving to a house share with soon, just messaged me saying she is being admitted to the hospital with pneumonia, possibly due to Covid. She is most concerned about possibly passing it along to her husband and child if she does in fact have it.

 

I'm worried about her...

I hope she recovers quickly. So sorry to hear this.

She has underlying health conditions but has been forced to work in an office with many other people. Due to the nature of the work (telephone customer support) the workers are all unmasked and work in close quarters. She told me she has no choice, she has to work, so she was hoping for the best. I don't know if any of her coworkers are infected. Obviously I can't talk to her right now.

I'm OK, still feeling unwell with my usual ailments that have been bothering me for years, but nothing more than that. I hope she gets better soon and that she doesn't have Covid.

She has underlying health conditions but has been forced to work in an office with many other people. Due to the nature of the work (telephone customer support) the workers are all unmasked and work in close quarters. She told me she has no choice, she has to work, so she was hoping for the best. I don't know if any of her coworkers are infected. Obviously I can't talk to her right now.

 

I'm OK, still feeling unwell with my usual ailments that have been bothering me for years, but nothing more than that. I hope she gets better soon and that she doesn't have Covid.

Isn't it awful to have to put yourself at risk because you simply have no choice ...

Glad you are not getting yourself in a state , I also hope she gets better soon and can call you and put your mind at rest .

I hope your cousin is ok. ❤️

It's confirmed. My cousin has Covid.

It's more upsetting because she has been so diligent about being careful, but her workplace environment is risky. I don't know for sure that's where she got it but she hasn't gone anywhere else but the grocery store and the gas station and chances of picking it up there are so minimal with the mandatory mask mandate we have in our state.

I hope my other cousins who have been gallivanting all over the place flying to visit friends and going on multi-state road trips take heed. They have been disregarding safety protocols and some of them are claiming the virus is a hoax. Well, this isn't funny. I don't want to see any more people I care about (or anyone, for that matter) getting sick.

She's worried about her husband and her very young child. We are hoping they aren't also infected.

It's confirmed. My cousin has Covid.

 

It's more upsetting because she has been so diligent about being careful, but her workplace environment is risky. I don't know for sure that's where she got it but she hasn't gone anywhere else but the grocery store and the gas station and chances of picking it up there are so minimal with the mandatory mask mandate we have in our state.

 

I hope my other cousins who have been gallivanting all over the place flying to visit friends and going on multi-state road trips take heed. They have been disregarding safety protocols and some of them are claiming the virus is a hoax. Well, this isn't funny. I don't want to see any more people I care about (or anyone, for that matter) getting sick.

 

She's worried about her husband and her very young child. We are hoping they aren't also infected.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. I think you are right and it was work. Have her husband and child been tested?

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. I think you are right and it was work. Have her husband and child been tested?

I didn't ask because I figured she's frightened enough. But I presume they will be tested. How scary for a five year old to have to go through that.

Plus they already struggle financially. I can't imagine what impact it will have for both her and her husband to not be able to work. And disability and unemployment benefits are taking weeks to process.

So...I just assisted my brother with "disposing" of a mouse that was living in the pantry, eating my brother's food and leaving a mess of droppings all over the place. My brother and I committed this act with my nephew looking on with his mouth hanging open. It's an interesting event in what is turning out to be both an upsetting and weird day. Strange to bond over something like that.

My cousin told me so far she is responding to the treatment. Her coughs have been productive and she is able to breathe a bit more easily. We're praying she continues to fight this hard and that she'll be well enough to go home soon.

I am so sorry to hear about your cousin.

This is so cute. My nephew is a college student who usually sleeps in. But this morning he got up at 6 am so he could watch a live stream of the Macy's parade. I think it's adorable that he wanted to see the parade badly enough to get up way earlier than usual.

He's a very nice young man.

I am surprised they had the parade all the parades here are cancelled.

I am surprised they had the parade all the parades here are cancelled.

They are having it with no spectators.

They are having it with no spectators.

Oh ok!! Sounds good. I love Macey’s parade.

I've been sick for about a week and a half. Sore throat, congestion and runny nose, fatigue, body aches, headache, lightheadedness. No fever, no cough. Blood oxygen (according to my oximeter) is down a bit, from the usual 98 to between 95 and 96. Different websites tell me different things; some say anything under 95 should result in a trip to the ER, others say below 92 or below 90. I'm checking my blood oxygen and taking my temp about every hour. I had a Covid test Wednesday and am repeatedly checking my email for the results although I probably won't get them until Monday sometime.

I'm worried I got infected during that scary work meeting that had about 35 people crammed into a small office space, with the attendees mask-less. I'm worried that if I am infected I will have exposed my brother and nephews and gotten them sick. I'm trying to stay away from them as much as possible. I did help cook Thanksgiving dinner but I was as careful as I could be.

I've been sick like this several times this year. No Covid so far. I'm nervous and scared. I really hope the test is negative.