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Thread: Confusion???

  1. #1

    Confusion???

    So I know Iím going to get a lot of ďmove on an ex is an ex for a reasonĒ and I donít want anyone to think in anyway Iím sitting around moping and waiting for my ex boyfriend to come back because Iím not, Iím happy to carry on improving myself.

    Basically my question is weíve been broken up for about two months now?? (Together for nearly 5 years and heís 37 and Iím 29) It was a fairly amicable break up we had a lot of pressure from outside our relationship and it just got a bit too much. He was heartbroken the day I left and I was equally heartbroken. He told me I was his best friend and he loves me with all his heart. I honestly donít question how much this man loves me heís a very sensitive loving individual and Iím the complete opposite, Iím not the best at showing my emotions. So after weíd decided to end it I rang him back about an hour later hysterical saying I just didnít want to do this and letís do something and he said he has to think about it? well that upset me a lot! Now being the hot headed person I am I told him itís fine leave it he obviously doesnít want to be with me if he has to think about it and he got upset by this and said that wasnít fair.

    So basically since then he has not said a single word to me, he ignored all my messages at first but now heís started reading them (Iíve probably sent about 6 since the break up). So itís coming up to 8 weeks now heís now removed me from his PlayStation friends and iím so confused Iíve told him to tell me to leave him alone forever if thatís what he really wants and if he just needs more space then fair enough. But nothing. He said he still wanted to be friends and I told him no at first because it felt too hard but I made it clear later on when I rang him back that I would be happy to keep him as a friend. Basically Iím giving him space because he clearly doesnít want to talk to me but has anyoneís elseís ex come back when it seemed impossible? All 4 of my exís before him came back to me after a few months of our breaks ups and I just wasnít interested at that point anymore. This is just very different, heís a highly stubborn individual and I just feel so discarded. The break up happened so fast we had a really happy relationship and I think I just want some closure and a proper goodbye if heís really not wanting to be with me. Iím rambling I know I just donít understand how someone could remove you from their lives so easily and I suppose Iím just looking for some happy ending stories from other users. I donít need this man in my life to live but I want him.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. What were the "outside pressures"? Did you live together? What was the breakup about? Perhaps no contact is his way of healing?
    Originally Posted by princesspea1
    It was a fairly amicable break up we had a lot of pressure from outside our relationship and it just got a bit too much.
    So basically since then he has not said a single word to me, he ignored all my messages at first but now heís started reading them.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Don't break up with someone unless you really mean it.

  4. #4
    ĒSorry to hear this. What were the "outside pressures"? Did you live together? What was the breakup about? Perhaps no contact is his way of healing?ď Thank you!
    Outside pressures were heís a business owner and was under a lot of stress and my family rely on me waaaay too much and he didnít like it but I wouldnít listen. (Im learning now). We did live together yes in his house Id moved in about a year ago. Break up was just neither of us understood what else to do, I felt like I was making his life miserable (Iíve been struggling on and off with depression for some time).
    I think it is his way of healing and I donít want people to think Iím crazy but I genuinely know how much he loved/loves me. I think I just need to give him some space to allow him to feel whatever he needs to feel, Iím just scared of losing him forever.

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  6. #5
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Don't break up with someone unless you really mean it.
    It wasnít really as simple as that I just really didnít know how to handle the situation and neither did he.

  7. #6
    [QUOTE=Wiseman2;7215963]Sorry to hear this. What were the "outside pressures"? Did you live together? What was the breakup about? Perhaps no contact is his way of healing?[/
    Thank you!
    Outside pressures were heís a business owner and was under a lot of stress and my family rely on me waaaay too much and he didnít like it but I wouldnít listen. (Im learning now). We did live together yes in his house Id moved in about a year ago. Break up was just neither of us understood what else to do, I felt like I was making his life miserable (Iíve been struggling on and off with depression for some time).
    I think it is his way of healing and I donít want people to think Iím crazy but I genuinely know how much he loved/loves me. I think I just need to give him some space to allow him to feel whatever he needs to feel, Iím just scared of losing him forever.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What prompted you to move out? Did you move back home with family? Was there pressure from your family to marry or where there cultural differences? All you can do is give him space.

    Hopefully you are coping with all the stress and taking care of the depression with the help of doctors and therapists.
    Originally Posted by princesspea1
    We did live together yes in his house I moved in about a year ago.
    Iíve been struggling on and off with depression for some time).

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Leave him alone and let him come to you. As they say if you love something let it go, it it comes back it was meant to be. You need to be more patient from now on.

  10. #9
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    What prompted you to move out? Did you move back home with family? Was there pressure from your family to marry or where there cultural differences? All you can do is give him space.

    Hopefully you are coping with all the stress and taking care of the depression with the help of doctors and therapists.
    I honestly donít know I wasnít thinking straight and just thought it was best for both of us if I left it all happened very fast. I moved in with my sister for the time being and the pressure was my family is highly dysfunctional and my older sister needs a lot of care which Iím mainly responsible for. I will continue to give him space and Iím currently getting help through a therapist. I just donít know how to make things okay with him if he wonít acknowledge me.

  11. #10
    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Leave him alone and let him come to you. As they say if you love something let it go, it it comes back it was meant to be. You need to be more patient from now on.
    Thank you I will continue to give him space, Iíve apologised to him for being so hasty and giving up on us so fast. All I can do is give him space and hopefully heíll realise our relationship was mainly a happy one. Iím definitely trying to be more patient and a lot less hot headed!

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