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Thread: Girlfriend of 2 years is confused about what she wants after being quarantined

  1. #1
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    Girlfriend of 2 years is confused about what she wants after being quarantined

    We've been dating for 2 years and hadn't seen eachother for 2 months because of coronavirus quarantine, but we talked to eachother 1-2 times a day on skype/over the phone during this time. We finally met up yesterday and things were going well, but she eventually broke down into tears and said that the quarantine really made her reflect on our relationship and she still loved me but her feelings had changed and she still wanted me in her life as a friend. We talked about our thoughts/feelings for about an hour and she said she was so confused now. She was prepared to walk away but after seeing me again and talking things over she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore, because she wasn't sure if I really loved her. I said she needed to take some time to think about how she really feels and get back to me in a few days.

    I'm not too sure how to approach this though. Part of me thinks that I need to respect her need to take the time to collect her thoughts and that I should leave her be. However, we have been apart for 2 months and I'm not sure if more space is the right idea? I really just want to reach out to her and let her know how much I love her and how much she means to be as she has doubts about my feelings towards her...What do I do?

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    I think you should tell her how you feel if you didn't already while you were with her. Quarantine has been hard on everyone in one way or another and in turn has been difficult for some relationships. I would recommend reassuring her that you don't want space but if she needs it, you will give it to her until she is ready to talk to get to the bottom of what is causing her to feel the way she does about your relationship.

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    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Tell her how you feel, man. Not to create any particular outcome, but for her. Let her see inside your heart and your head so she can make an informed choice...

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    I've messaged her and asked if we can meet in person to talk

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Reassurance is always a good thing. I just hope that she responds how you hope. Because she said she's confused, try to realize that you might not get the reaction you are hoping for.

    But at the end of the day, at least you did what you could to make things right. I am crossing my fingers for you.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. unfortunately it seems she has been wanting to end things for a while and with the space decided to speak out. Leave her alone for now. Stop talking about it or begging, pleading, negotiating etc. The more you talk at her the more you will push her away.

    She knows your contact info and where you are. Let her reflect and reach out when she is ready. Unfortunately it sounds like she is talking to or interested in someone else.
    Originally Posted by turokturok5
    We finally met up yesterday and things were going well, but she eventually broke down into tears and said that the quarantine really made her reflect on our relationship and she still loved me but her feelings had changed and she still wanted me in her life as a friend. she wasn't sure if I really loved her.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Women's brains need emotional stimulation...romance! If you don't get creative and make this woman feel desired, she's gonna walk for sure. Being apart, there has been a disconnect, so you better figure something out. Try this....pretend to have just met her, and pursue her like things are new again...just like it was in the beginning.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by turokturok5
    she wasn't sure if I really loved her.
    If you love her, show her with actions - not just words.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. unfortunately it seems she has been wanting to end things for a while and with the space decided to speak out. Leave her alone for now. Stop talking about it or begging, pleading, negotiating etc. The more you talk at her the more you will push her away.

    She knows your contact info and where you are. Let her reflect and reach out when she is ready. Unfortunately it sounds like she is talking to or interested in someone else.

    Yeah shes got you lined up for the friendzone in case it doesnt work out with the new guy i'm sorry to say.

    Good luck and if she ends things wish her well and block her.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    If I needed to read the whole post to get to the line where you mentioned in passing that you love her, then maybe that's how she's been feeling throughout the whole relationship?

    If the problem is that you don't behave and speak in ways that help her to feel your love, then decide whether that's something you're willing to take on.

    If so, tell her not that you just love her, but HOW you intend to continue expressing that to her going forward.

    If you're not inclined to do that, then let her go. Otherwise, at the most she'll just hang in there long enough to confirm that you're not ever going to give her the kind of love that she envisions for her future, and she'll just want to drop you again.


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