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Thread: I'm 35 and my mom asks about my visits with my bf

  1. #21
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    I don't know, maybe you go all i and give her an exaggerated scenario.

    "Mom, I am so sore, i didn't know a body could stretch like that!" or, "Ma, how do you get these rope marks off my wrists?"

    And so on.

    Then when she acts all mortified, tell her to stop asking ridiculously prying questions. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #22
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Please don't do the above. He was joking and it's not something you should EVER consider doing.

    Just keep it to a minimum. Tell her you watched movies and you don't have to mention the sex bit. It's like when you go to the bathroom, you don't announce to everyone what went on etc, right? Sex is similar. You keep that kind of stuff to yourself and it's okay to do that because it's private business only you and your boyfriend need to talk about.

    If your mom pushes and asks specific questions about sex, tell her it's not something you wish to talk about. But to be honest, it's not nice or fair for your mom to ask that at all.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Please don't do the above. He was joking and it's not something you should EVER consider doing.

    Just keep it to a minimum. Tell her you watched movies and you don't have to mention the sex bit. It's like when you go to the bathroom, you don't announce to everyone what went on etc, right? Sex is similar. You keep that kind of stuff to yourself and it's okay to do that because it's private business only you and your boyfriend need to talk about.

    If your mom pushes and asks specific questions about sex, tell her it's not something you wish to talk about. But to be honest, it's not nice or fair for your mom to ask that at all.
    I agree. And no don't joke about pregnancy. You might like this story. Many years ago my mom and I went to see our family doctor- appointments the same day. I was single at the time and told the doctor that my sister was expecting a child and it was really exciting. When my mom went in for her appointment he strapped on the blood pressure monitor and said conversationally "congratulations on your daughter's pregnancy!" - my mom nearly jumped out of her skin and asked that her pressure be rechecked once he explained it was her "other daughter".

  4. #24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Please don't do the above. He was joking and it's not something you should EVER consider doing.

    Just keep it to a minimum. Tell her you watched movies and you don't have to mention the sex bit. It's like when you go to the bathroom, you don't announce to everyone what went on etc, right? Sex is similar. You keep that kind of stuff to yourself and it's okay to do that because it's private business only you and your boyfriend need to talk about.

    If your mom pushes and asks specific questions about sex, tell her it's not something you wish to talk about. But to be honest, it's not nice or fair for your mom to ask that at all.
    Haha, I was about to say the same thing. It's like if someone asks what you did this afternoon, you don't tell them you took a massive poo even if that's the truth. Leave sex, bathroom stuff, other overly personal things out of it. It's ok to say we watched some movies and talked about our day and then we looked at cat photos on the internet or whatever.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It might be hard on your mum if you're spending a lot of time over there. She's having to acknowledge that you need some space and privacy in your relationship also (a good opportunity to practice some boundaries). I'd smile and answer her questions as honestly as possible but leave any of the sexual details out. She may worry about you practicing safe sex and if she asks you about that, you can just say it's all covered, Mum. Don't be defensive or irritated with her as it might just worry her more. Keep the conversation light and confident and don't forget to ask her how her day or evening was too.

  7. #26
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Today she implied that if my bf and I have any kind of sex she wonít allow him to visit again. (BUT my dad did say to him heís always welcome here; although I wouldnít say thatís the issue I need to discuss.)

    I have a feeling sheís in denial and I donít have much of a choice but to play along. Everyone agree?

  8. #27
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    I realize Iím addicted to her approval. But I feel I need it because if I donít sheíll make me move out. Obviously I canít, I have nowhere else to live.

  9. #28
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    Today she implied that if my bf and I have any kind of sex she wonít allow him to visit again. (BUT my dad did say to him heís always welcome here; although I wouldnít say thatís the issue I need to discuss.)

    I have a feeling sheís in denial and I donít have much of a choice but to play along. Everyone agree?
    Donít play divide and conquer with your parents.

  10. #29
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Donít play divide and conquer with your parents.
    Huh? Whatís that?

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    Huh? Whatís that?
    Donít play your parents against each other. By one saying you can do something and the other saying you canít. That is playing people against each other.

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