Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 50

Thread: Childcare issue

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    89

    Childcare issue

    Hello all,

    I have 2 kids that don't live with me, they live with their Mum. It isn't local to me and I don't drive so we agreed that during lockdown it would be safer for them to stay with her.

    This has been fine as I have had regular video calls with them and they are having great fun with their Mum.

    Since the announcement on Sunday she has been urging me to have them come stay with me but doesn't want me to come and collect them via train. I don't drive.

    I only live in a small apartment so have no garden and when the kids stay I give my son my bed and my daughter has her own little bed in my room.
    I stay on the sofa.
    Where they live now they have a garden plus their own rooms so always have something they can do.
    At this present stage I think it is unreasonable for me to have them due to the logistics of travel and the lack of things we can do as well as any potential risk of exposure to coronavirus.
    The town is pretty much shut down and all the play parks are locked up.

    Does this sound unreasonable to anybody?

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    967
    Gender
    Female
    I think you could take them for 3 or 4 days, even with everything locked down. You could play games, paint, cook, etc. Just spend time with them.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,682
    Agreed. I think giving their mother a break during this very stressful time is a good idea. You could buy a number of board games online for some entertainment. Or if that's too old school for their interests, there are digital party games like JackBox you can look into. Honestly, just get creative. It's a chance to see your kids again.

    Is she trying to make this an indefinite arrangement? I can see your point if we're talking the longer-term sanity of you and your children.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,187
    Gender
    Male
    What are the options is you can't get them or want to have them in your small apt? Does your wife want you to take them off her hands for a while? Are you able to simply visit there for a few hours then return home via train?
    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    I have 2 kids that don't live with me, they live with their Mum.
    This has been fine as I have had regular video calls with them and they are having great fun with their Mum.
    she has been urging me to have them come stay with me but doesn't want me to come and collect them via train. I don't drive.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    4,570
    Gender
    Male
    I agree with Sarah.

    Can their mother drive them to you, to avoid the train situation? If so, great: spend a few days together. Quarters will be a little tight, sure, but your kids get to hang with dad, you get to hang with your kids, their mom gets a break, and so on. Sounds like a quadruple win, at least from where I sit, with the only unreasonable part being that you have to sleep on the couch for a minute.

    Small sacrifice for your kids and harmonious co-parenting, no?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,510
    Gender
    Female
    Figure out how to get the kids to your place, entertain them with games, painting, walks if possible, just get to know them and spend time with them. You are important to them, keep that in mind. No doubt their mother needs a break.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,842
    Gender
    Female
    Tell your ex to use whatever transport she deems safe to get the kids to you. Otherwise, plenty of things you can do with them indoors. No real excuse for not having them over and doing your share of parenting.

  9. #8
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,882
    Gender
    Female
    Their mom is probably at half past give a crap right now and needs a break. Individual bedrooms and gardens donít make a dad. Spending any kind of quality time with your kids as being a dad.

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    89
    Thanks all.
    I do really want to see them. She won't bring them to me.
    The train ride is about an hr/HR and a half, which I am happy to take but the Mum does not want me to.
    I'm more than happy for them to be here and we can just play games etc as people say. I normally have them one weekend a month and I go to collect them and return them.
    I certainly don't mind sleeping on the sofa, my son loves having the bed to himself!
    The main issues is getting them safely to me and getting them back. Normally their grandad helps but he is classed as in the vulnerable sector of community so at present he doesn't wish to do any driving and putting himself at any further risk by being around others.
    I'm kind of stuck as would like them to be here I just need her to be willing to help a little too in order to make it happen

  11. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    89
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Tell your ex to use whatever transport she deems safe to get the kids to you. Otherwise, plenty of things you can do with them indoors. No real excuse for not having them over and doing your share of parenting.
    Agree. I definitely want them here and I have lots of toys and games etc here for them to use. I'm just stuck a little with the travel.

Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast

Videos


Most Women Rather Not Date Unemployed Men

Why Young People Don't Rush To Marry? They Fear Divorce

Why People Lie On Online Dating Services?

Relationships During Quarantine

Cheating Husbands Are at Risk of a Heart Attack

Romance At Work: Yes Or No?
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •