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Thread: Childcare issue

  1. #41
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    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    There is no divorce agreement, we were never married.
    OK - whether together or not just be careful not to appear to put the child in the middle of co-parent squabbles. I know it's hard!!

  2. #42
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    I would not tell you kids that you can't see them. I would tell them "you will see them as soon as all of this stay at home stuff is over". So they have something to look forward to vs false promises. There are services where you can hire a driver, like uber or a driver that drives longer distance to take you to the airport, etc. Or if you are a member of a church, sometimes members as a way to volunteer drive people who cannot drive due to disability. You only have One family member? How about a friend? Pay them to drive you. Someone with a larger car or van where you wouldn't be on top o eachother. I am sure a friend who is out of work would welcome some money in exchange for driving you somewhere.

    i have a friend who is paraplegic and he regularly hires people to drive him.

    If "that one person who drives me can't so i am not going to see my kids" - then don't see their kids - but some people move mountains to see their kids.

  3. #43
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I would not tell you kids that you can't see them. I would tell them "you will see them as soon as all of this stay at home stuff is over". So they have something to look forward to vs false promises. There are services where you can hire a driver, like uber or a driver that drives longer distance to take you to the airport, etc. Or if you are a member of a church, sometimes members as a way to volunteer drive people who cannot drive due to disability. You only have One family member? How about a friend? Pay them to drive you. Someone with a larger car or van where you wouldn't be on top o eachother. I am sure a friend who is out of work would welcome some money in exchange for driving you somewhere.

    i have a friend who is paraplegic and he regularly hires people to drive him.

    If "that one person who drives me can't so i am not going to see my kids" - then don't see their kids - but some people move mountains to see their kids.
    Get your point but the cost to get to the area of the country they live would be astronomical if I took an uber or any service like that, so much so that I'd probably have to take a loan!

    Also with social distancing, it puts me in the public transport issue again which is one the mum doesn't want to entertain.
    In the UK it states not seeing ppl from other households unless in a park etc and 2m away from each other

  4. #44
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    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    Get your point but the cost to get to the area of the country they live would be astronomical if I took an uber or any service like that, so much so that I'd probably have to take a loan!

    Also with social distancing, it puts me in the public transport issue again which is one the mum doesn't want to entertain.
    In the UK it states not seeing ppl from other households unless in a park etc and 2m away from each other
    I get it. You have to decide -- if you really want to see your kids during this stay at home order, you would find a way.
    If not, then stop ragging on your ex and see your kids when you can see them. You are making this about how unreasonable she is.
    After the restrictions are lifted, get things in order with your life whether that means moving closer to the kids where uber would be affordable or you could walk, expanding your network of people who can drive you (even if its a buddy who will do it for the cost of a meal and gas money), etc, so there are no excuses and you pull your weight on seeing your kids.

    Do you have a disability where an adapted car would work? (ie, mechanisms for people who have no use of their legs), or is it something else like seizures that make you not able to drive?

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  6. #45
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    People in my area are still operating rides for seniors and disabled citizens. there is a van or small bus they schedule an appointment with to take them where they need to go - they just only take 1-2 people at a time. Look in your community to see what resources there are going forward after this is over

  7. #46
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I'm sure there's someone with a car who is currently unemployed (gig worker?) who could use some money. How about checking on Facebook or a community page to see if you can work something out?

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Personally I would Never get in a gig worker car with children during a pandemic. That is as bad as public transport, maybe worse. Do not scramble to find rides especially those intended for disabled or elderly people. Do not allow the ex to make you feel guilty. She is crazy putting the kids at risk.

    Do what is right for your children. TWO round trips is insane. And back and forth for them puts them at great risk as you know from the recent headlines about pediatric multi-system inflammatory syndrome from covid, that is killing even asymptomatic kids. (google it)

    They know you love them, they know there is a change in life lately due to the pandemic. You do Not "owe" her babysitting. If she Refuses to invite to her place then you know she is being unreasonable.
    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    Get your point but the cost to get to the area of the country they live would be astronomical if I took an uber or any service like that.

  9. #48
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I didn't mean to put the kids in a stranger's car. I was talking about getting the OP to the ex's house. Maybe he might know someone who is out of work who could use a few dollars.

  10. #49
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I didn't mean to put the kids in a stranger's car. I was talking about getting the OP to the ex's house. Maybe he might know someone who is out of work who could use a few dollars.
    Yes, a friend. Someone he knows. depending on how close they are of friends he could pay gas money and owe them for lunch or could pay an hourly or mile rate. He has got to have someone besides his parents who know him and the kids. But i think he is more content on villainizing the ex. I totaled my care once (not my fault, someone hit me) so my mom would not let me go to summer classes at my college. I decided F you and i took a series of busses -- and then found a friend who was willng to drive me halfway home. She decided to drive me half way to school after that.
    Maybe the ex's boyfriend would drive the kids halfway if he took the initiative to find a ride.

  11. #50
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    To clarify...
    She doesn't want me to come down to her place just to entertain the kids for a bit, she wants me to have the kids at mine for a few days.

    With social distancing I can't risk having the kids in someoboy else's car where we don't know what level of potential exposure that person has had.

    The way I see it is risk assessment, if people are working or around other people, the potential risk is increased. Right now whilst they are safe at their mums and not being exposed to anybody else, it eliminates that risk-no matter how small--now I would love them here and if I could drive I would head down and collect as then they would only be around me but as I don't I have to rely on others who may or may not have been exposed.
    My kids safety is more important right now

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