Split 2 years ago, and he wants to be friends???

Hello everyone I am new here :)

I was in a relationship with an ex for a year and I broke up with him. (It was an ugly break up) but we never cheated on eachothers. It was 2 years ago.

Somehow we were still giving each others news (every 3 to 6 months) and the other day , he asks me if I wanted to go take a walk with him which I agred. We spoke for 3 hours (we spoke about everything but we didnt spoke about our past relationship) and he wants us to be friends... I think... The way he speaks its like he is planing to keep me in his life. (Ex: we are going to do this, I will show you that, etc...)

It has been 2 years.

Why does he wants a friendship with me?

We were not friend before the relationship?

I truly dont understand.

Why now all of a sudden after all these years? It's so weird to me.

Would you be friends with an ex?

Should I suspect he wants us to get back together? (It's just so sudden)

Please help :))

It's not about what he wants, but about what do YOU want? You dumped him....soooo....????? What do you want from him.

It's very disingenuous of you to claim that "somehow" you keep staying in touch and somehow you went and spent all those hours with him.... You have been effectively leading him on this whole time, so no surprise if he has been carrying a torch for you all along. You've never let each other move on and heal.

So, do YOU want to date again? Yes or no?

Well I broke up with him because he had a commitment issue and he shared my secrets to some of his friends which truly hurts me (short story)

He is the one who started to kept in touch with me but I admit it I did encourage it and ask him news about him as well.

I do miss him I'll admit it. After all he was my first love.

I am too scared to tell him what I wants and too scared that he will take it the wrong way if I ask him what he wants. I am really scared to get hurt again.

And I don't know what to think about that or why he would wants to keep a friendship with me

Some people simply have a hard time of letting go, aka attachment issues. That's not flattering to you and has nothing to do with you. It's their personal problem and an unhealthy one. People with commitment issues are ironically notorious for this - kind of there, but kind of not. Push and pull and it never ends....until you call it and end it. That's why I'm asking you what it is that you want. He hasn't changed.

If you don't want to get hurt again or go through all the drama and uncertainty again, then be firm that it's over. Let it go once and for all. Heal, move on. No more meeting up or keeping in touch, aka staying on the hook, lite.

As for staying friends with ex's in general...you don't want to do that. It will discourage guys worth having from wanting anything to do with you. Most people will read a "friendly" ex as unfinished business and move on away from you. So if your goal is having a stable, happy, healthy relationship, move away from a person who can't give you what you need and stand in the way of that via faux friendship.

Your first love is supposed to be a chapter in your life, but more of a pleasant memory rather than a tumultuous, uncertain present that won't go away. Keep the memory, but close the chapter and move forward into a future where a guy you date wants what you want in life and relationships. This guy isn't it.

 

 

I am too scared to tell him what I wants and too scared that he will take it the wrong way if I ask him what he wants. I am really scared to get hurt again.

 

And I don't know what to think about that or why he would wants to keep a friendship with me

If you are too afraid to act on it, then you should just close the door. Straddling the fence with `what it's', him crossing the lines of inappropriateness and his girlfriend in the mix, things are bound to get messy again. They already are or you wouldn't be here.

You either speak up about what you want or put this to bed and move on.

I wouldn't be friends with an ex but that's just me and I'm not you. Yes, it's weird and awkward.

He doesn't want to get back together because he's made it very clear to you that he wants you two to be friends. Get his message loud and clear.

Tell him it's time to go your separate ways because it's mentally healthy for both of you, wish him all the best and part ways amicably and peacefully. If he's relentless, then ignore, ghost, block and delete him permanently. You've already given him fair warning so it's time to call it quits. You need to heal and recover and the only way to do this is to move on courageously without him in your life anymore.

What do you want? it seems to be all about what he wants.

All this 'friendy friendly ex' thing is BS...going for a walk out of the blue...tut tut. Reminds me of going for a curry but just having a sniff when you get there. Absolute rubbish! What is it a game of cards next week? Table tennis? You either want a relationship with him or not. Clearly he wants a leg over via the no commitment friendly route. Your being played, or maybe your just playing each other.

So him reaching out and asking to go for a walk isn't just him trying to be 'friend's' with you. I'm a guy and if I ever got back in touch with an ex it would be for reconciliation only, not friendship. I can't rule out him wanting to hookup as I don't know him personally.

You said it yourself, after 2 years why would he want to be friends? You going out with him also says that you were at least curious, if not full blown interested in seeing him and to see if he has changed. Has he?

You know, the easiest way of getting an answer out of a guy is to just ask. If only it were that easy with women LOL.

Unfortunately some people backtrack through exes when they get dumped to see who is still available for easy sex.

Why does he wants a friendship with me? Would you be friends with an ex?