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Thread: The best attitude to show when I was rejected as a girl

  1. #1
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    The best attitude to show when I was rejected as a girl

    Hi! So I have been talking to this guy online, I know him for a very long time(we’ve been on and off along the years) and he noticed that I always was attracted to him. I initiated conversation two weeks ago and we got closer and closer(more than friends). The problem is that only I was the one to message first or to ask him to have phone calls. He was always there to reply in a second and i noticed in his behaviour that he enjoyed talking to me, but I was annoyed that I was almost the only one to initiate conversations(if I wouldn’t he would finally message in the evening) . I complained about it and he brought excuses like “I am alone here and i can talk anytime while you are with family etc”
    On Friday I got really upset about it and i again brought the subject, he tried to excuse himself again but I was really angry and said something like I would t message him again and that I need to end the call because i wanted to think about the whole situation. I said something like “i think i was too friendly” and that “i should stop messaging and i’ll see how many dead plants i’ve been watering”.
    I ended the call and it was all silence until last night when i sent a message: “I don’t understand you”. He replyed to me today:”Well that's ok because I don't understand you either. Maybe we should just leave it at that”.
    I have no idea what does he mean by that and i don’t know how should i take it. I care a lot for him so it is hard to see things rationally. I am stuck between my ego and my feelings. Please tell mewhat should i do.

  2. #2
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    Sounds like he's called your bluff to me or perhaps he's done. Either way your in need of some closure or direction as to what if anything happens next. Take a practical approach once more and ask him where you as couple or not, stand now.

  3. #3
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    I would just leave it here, OP.

    I don't think he's interested in the way you are. You shouldn't need to ask someone to communicate with you. That usually happens organically when the interest is mutual. When you're resorting to angry tactics to elicit a reaction, well, that's your cue that the other person just isn't that into it to begin with.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    When someone wants to call or message, they call or message. When someone does NOT want to call or message, they don't call or message.

    Your annoyance about that doesn't change it.

    You can't force someone to want what they don't want.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    The best approach to this kind of indifference from him is to pull back and not chase this hard or confront him. Have you read the book: "He's Just Not That Into You"? Take this corona time to read some books.

    Is this the same online on/off guy?: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Bluemoon17
    I was annoyed that I was almost the only one to initiate conversations(if I wouldn’t he would finally message in the evening) . I complained about it and he brought excuses like “I am alone here and i can talk anytime while you are with family etc”

  7. #6
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    He is not interested in you but interested in attention. That’s why he doesn’t initiate but merely replies.
    He is most likely getting attention from others , some of which he initiates because he is interested.

    But when your attention is negative he can’t be bothered with it.
    He will get the attention from someone else flirting with him.

    Not sure how after two weeks of texting that you have become closer than friends? You mean sexting?
    That’s merely attention and not close at all.
    If you were closer than friends he would’ve upping the contact and initiating.
    But he’s not.

    What do you do from here? Delete and block.
    You are only ever on or off under his terms , not yours.

    On when he is lacking attention from others, off when he is.

    Sorry but it’s clear he is not interested.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You admit that you were the one doing all the work. At what point did you realize that the interest was not reciprocated? Despite that you continue to invest in something with no return and get angry at him for not paying you back.
    He was not indebted to you. You have the right to feel disappointed, but you don't have the right to be angry with him.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You are pushy, rude and demanding and no doubt annoyed this guy with your attitude. He is nowhere near as interested in you as you are in him. You pushed too hard. Leave him alone. Nobody is required to text or contact another person immediately or sooner, or first! Back off and see what happens, which may well be nothing.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    You deal with it the same way a male should. That means not being an ass about it. You weren't and aren't entitled to his attention. If someone's not into you, they're not into you. Respect it.

  11. #10
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    He is not interested. Leave him alone.

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