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Ok I’m after some advice, opinions, confirmation or reassurance! Basically I have been in a relationship for 2 years and my partner has 2 children from a relationship that ended 10 years ago.

They have both had various relationships since breaking up and remain friends.

Before the covid lockdown it had never once crossed my mind that he might still have feelings for his children’s mum (although to be fair he did a good job at keeping us apart). Since the lockdown my mind has gone into complete overdrive and I have convinced myself he’s still in love with her. I cannot think of anything else. It is causing huge arguements between us. She is round everyday as my partner isn’t working so he is having the kids more. Usually he only has them once a week and so only sees her once a week. I am finding myself analysing his every movement and word and trying to guess what he means by it. I feel like because he’s seeing her more, his feelings are coming back. For example, when she was round last week she mentioned she didn’t like his curtains, that evening he ordered new curtains. Another example is that he has started to talk about her a lot more, in good ways and bad ways. He has started being overly nice to me (kissing me more and cuddling me, which he never usually does, he’s just not that kind of person) and I’m feeling like it’s guilt because he always does it after she leaves, he comes starlight upstairs and cuddles me. It’s like he’s chatting with her, feels a pang of love, feels guilty and then comes to kiss me. This isn’t like him at all and it’s putting me on edge. When I brought my thoughts up with him he flew off the handle and didn’t speak to me for 3 days... is this because I have uncovered his true feelings or is he offended? After this arguement, he conveniently pretended to forget her name which is ludicrous, because that’s never happened before. Can I have your opinions please because I am going out of my mind :( thank you!

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When I brought my thoughts up with him he flew off the handle and didn’t speak to me for 3 days

 

While the other things could be the lockdown overthinking this does sound like a red flag. How exactly did you discuss this with him (was it a fight where you accused him of having feelings for his ex or more of a calm conversation)? It sounds like you live together - did he consult with you before changing the curtains? Have you ever met his ex or been present when she visits?

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Do you live together? Do they live together? In the 2 yrs you have been together, is this the first time you have thought they are still in love?

SShe is round everyday as my partner isn’t working so he is having the kids more. I feel like because he’s seeing her more, his feelings are coming back.

 

he always does it after she leaves, he comes starlight upstairs and cuddles me.

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