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Thread: I have never been in so much pain in my life

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately the marriage has been limping along on life support for a long long time. Was this an arranged marriage? Basically you have both checked out of it long ago. What you may be feeling is the realization of this and the issues that a long time coming divorce will bring. Get a good lawyer with regard to division of property and child support/visitation/custody.

  2. #12
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    I am very sorry for what you and your kids have been through. Your wife sounds incredibly selfish and cruel.

    I also think that it is terrible to be using other women to get over her. This is selfish. I suggest that you focus on your kids and therapy, as you need to process all that has happened.

    Why are you dating during a pandemic!?

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I am very sorry for what you and your kids have been through. Your wife sounds incredibly selfish and cruel.

    I also think that it is terrible to be using other women to get over her. This is selfish. I suggest that you focus on your kids and therapy, as you need to process all that has happened.

    Why are you dating during a pandemic!?
    I am not using anyone. I haven't lied to her, she's in this relationship at her own will. I like her company, I feel attracted to her, I admire her personality. What I did write above is that I find myself comparing her to me wife, and that I still find my wife more attractive. That's what makes me sad.

    I don't care with the pandemic. I see people constantly ignoring it all over the place, I don't think two poor souls getting together will make anything worse.

  4. #14
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    The last couple of days have been particularly bad. I am enjoying more and more the company of my new partner, and I started to appreciate her for her differences rather than comparing her to my wife. She's a very different woman, more wise, mature and giving.

    But over the last days, because I see my wife several times during the week due to handing over our kids, have been tough. Everytime I see her I am reminded of how attracted I am to her, how I still love her.

    Last Sunday she invited me to have dinner at her with the kids, and I left immediately after dinner was over. The day before we went to a drive and a walk as a family. But I know that she's in constant contact with her lover and that she's probably just using me for company or to mitigate guilt or whatever.

    It's impressive that I delt with all the other potentially strong aspects of the separation, like not seeing the kids every day, being alone during the lock down, dealing with the perspective of not having another relationship, etc., and this is the single thing that is keeping me behind. The love and attaction I have for her and the pain of the betrayal with that man.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LonelyRoom
    Everytime I see her I am reminded of how attracted I am to her, how I still love her.

    Last Sunday she invited me to have dinner at her with the kids

    The day before we went to a drive and a walk as a family.
    Does your new partner know about all of this?

    If not, then it's not fair to say that she knows what she's getting into.

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