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Thread: Female supervisor harassment or something else ?

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    Female supervisor harassment or something else ?

    Iím male in my early 50ís that recently has started a new job and after 2 months i have a middle aged recently divorced female boss that keeps putting her hands on me.
    So far she has had her hand on the middle of my back rubbing me straight up and down the middle of my back while we were talking one day when i first started the job, after that 5 other things have happened that include, Coming up from behind me at work and putting both her hands around my neck for making a data entry mistake, Coming up from behind me and patting me on the back as she walked by me while i was working, Coming up from behind me and bumping her hand on my thigh to talk to me, She even slapped me one day for making a mistake and has also asked me to dance with her at work and she is just real flirty with me but, I donít want to say the wrong thing and lose my job.

    I know, Iím the guy and i should probably ignore it but, I really like my job and don't want problems.
    Iím very confused over why she started doing this in the first place and i have not laid a finger on her.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Yes, this is definitely harassment. And hitting you for mistakes?? She sounds nuts. Absolutely document everything, who was around , who witnessed anything and I would go to HR. Definitely donít let this go.

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    I find a job in my 50's i finally love to do and i'm suddenly walking in a minefield, She's been a supervisor for 23 years is another problem also, i think that'll be a big hurdle to get past with H.R..

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    "I know, Iím the guy and i should probably ignore it but, I really like my job and don't want problems."

    ---- NO NO NO!! Don't talk like that and say because you're male and she's female, you should just ignore it! That's a sexist view of the situation. Yes your boss IS sexually harassing you! That is exactly what you'd call it! She should never touch you at all! No colleague should touch another colleague. Unless the situation was warranted and welcomed. E.g. giving a handshake or a hug at a Christmas party. But then only if you knew the colleague well and it was comfortable and reciprocal.

    A manager shouldn't really touch their staff at all, not even for a hug. They are an authority figure and physical contact is unacceptable. The only acceptable thing would be shaking hands. Touching your neck, rubbing your back, touching your knee, no way! I think it's definitely a good idea that you write down all these incidents and the dates and what she did. Can you go to a higher manager, to her boss? I really don't think she should be able to get away with this. This is sleazy and very inappropriate. It makes literally no difference that she's a woman and you're a man. She simply can't do this!

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    Also you know what always irked me? In the movie "Horrible Bosses", one of the male protagonists had a sexy female boss played by Jennifer Aniston. And she kept sexually harassing him, even though he had a girlfriend. I remember she even took her clothes off or jumped on him or something. And it was portrayed as a joke and comedy and like it was funny. Because the boss was female and she was attractive. That always really annoyed me! If the boss had been a man no way would they get away with it!

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    Jesus, I'm in a mess, this is two peoples livelihoods and if i can't get her to stop or have witnesses, the only way out is to quit if the managers won't do something and again she's been there 23 years versus my 2 months.
    I just don't know.

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    Silver Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by chevelle1970
    I know, Iím the guy and i should probably ignore it but, I really like my job and don't want problems.
    Iím very confused over why she started doing this in the first place and i have not laid a finger on her.
    No you shouldn't ignore it because you are a man.
    I would start documenting everything and notify HR that you are documenting her actions/words because you are worry about your own safety. You need to ensure that you have alerted HR so if in the future, these transgressions turn in to a HR nightmare, at least you can say you did notify HR.

    Golden standard office rule: CYA

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    Thank You, I'll see what the new week brings at work.

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    Thank You for your advice, I'll see what the new week brings at work.

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    Thank You for your advice.

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