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Thread: Female supervisor harassment or something else ?

  1. #51

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    First and foremost sexual harrassment is illegal. Make it clear you'd appreciate the fact if she has something to show you, tell you, advise you, correct that she does so without touching you. Join a union. Look up your workers rights. Keep a record of events that happen dates and times this is your evidence. Try asking a colleague if he would witness the fact of what she does during guiding, advising, correcting you in your work place. This way you have another separate account of things. Find out what your work place grievance procedure is. This should already have been given to you in your contract of employment. Write things up when they happen. Stick to the facts not what you think happened or suppose happened. But first and foremost be clear on the fact that you say when she is about to say or approaches you, can you say it without touching me; I appreciate you may be a tactile person but I don't like being touch and would appreciate you didn't' touch me at all when speaking to me about anything. After you have told her this if it continues then follow your workplace grievance procedure to the letter. Look up the citizens advice website under sexual harrassment and workers rights. Go over your contract of employment and see what it states about complaints/harrassment/grienvances.

  2. #52
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    I appreciate you taking the time for the answer, It's just a first for me, happening where i did work.

  3. #53
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Not specific to your situation, but HR is on the side of the company. Their job is damage control. Which means a team of high priced labor attorneys on retainer to consult. So when there is a complaint they will do whatever it takes to make sure you don't have a case.

    In your case do not even mention this job on a resume/application. 60 days is easy to bury. Is unwanted nonsexual touching from an opposite sex supervisor sexual harassment? Probably. But you need to weigh what is best for you. Making a brouhaha over this works against you, even if in principle you have a point.

    Some interesting info : "Most employees labor under an ďat willĒ policy, which means you can terminate them at any time for any reason. However, you cannot terminate an employee based on that personís race, religion, gender, national origin or sexual orientation, as that is a violation of federal law. Some employees claim that piercings fall under their First Amendment right of freedom of expression but that isnít true. The First Amendment does offer protections for freedom of speech and expression but it has always been interpreted as applicable to governments, not private businesses."

  4. #54
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    What an unprofessional and horrible experience for you to go through. Shameful.

    I'm glad you have left this company. I agree with those who've mentioned to leave this out of your resume. I saw some warehouse work - there are big box stores hiring for warehouse positions even during the pandemic. Don't lose hope and don't become too traumatized over this experience. Stay professional in your next job and stay focused.

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  6. #55
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Not specific to your situation, but HR is on the side of the company. Their job is damage control. Which means a team of high priced labor attorneys on retainer to consult. So when there is a complaint they will do whatever it takes to make sure you don't have a case.
    That's assuming that the company has a functional HR department. In the places I've worked, I've seen so much variation.

    My experience has been that larger companies have full fledged HR department, but smaller companies pretty much wing it.

    I had to deal with a sexual harassment situation at one of two large companies that I worked for. When I say large, I mean 100,000 - 300,000 employees worldwide. That company handled the situation promptly and professionally, but I am sure I was only successful because I was (at least) the second woman to complain about that particular guy.

    At the second large company that I worked for, they had an HR department, but it was a joke. Just really, really inept. Fortunately, I didn't have any major issues at that company.

    My last company was about 50 people total, and they didn't have an actual HR person at all. The director of finance pretty much wore all the hats and you had to go to him if there was a problem. That company forced people out left and right. I actually heard the owners gang up on and harass a project manager once--not sexually, but in a very unfair way.

    One of my coworkers at that last job left one of her previous jobs because a guy kept hitting on her. It was a small family business and the guy had been there for 20+ years while she was just a newbie. I don't blame her. What can you do in that situation?

  7. #56
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    I have to tell you all, It hurt my 53 year old self esteem more than i thought it would after i keep thinking why ? She gained nothing by what she did but, she's a good manipulator evidently.

    But, anyway, Thank You all for your time, kind words, and advice, it helped tremendously to know what to lookout for if there is a next vixen to deal with at work.

  8. #57
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by chevelle1970
    I have to tell you all, It hurt my 53 year old self esteem more than i thought it would after i keep thinking why ? She gained nothing by what she did but, she's a good manipulator evidently.

    But, anyway, Thank You all for your time, kind words, and advice, it helped tremendously to know what to lookout for if there is a next vixen to deal with at work.
    Abuse of authority will often feel like this and you'll feel a bit angry and damaged for awhile. Don't internalize it. Harder said than done, I know. That feeling will wear off the longer this is part of your past and you are not around this type of harassment anymore. Keep reminding yourself that you are worth more than that and have skills and experience to offer your next employer. There are ways of coping even if you are not seeing a therapist or if you are not seeking support for this.

    I'm willing to vouch that a very high percentage of individuals in the workplace have been exposed to harassment of some sort (myself included), whether verbal abuse or abuse of power from another person in a more senior position or specifically sexual harassment. It takes awhile for the mind to make sense of that type of behaviour and slowly start to let go, especially if you didn't have the support you felt you ought to have had in those situations. Thankfully in my case I did have the support of senior management at the time but I decided not to pursue the issue and dealt with it personally one on one with the instigator although that wasn't recommended. I felt there was some other mental health issue going on with this individual and it wasn't as sinister as it appeared. It just affected and hindered my performance at work as it was something I had to constantly deal with for the better part of two to three years. Believe me, I'm not really sure how I endured it for three years but I did until it reached breaking point and I had to confront that person and we came to an understanding.

    Going forward I resolved to have a zero tolerance for any kind of abuse or harassment.

    For now, keep going and don't internalize. You're out of there (what a blessing). Do not feel guilty for quitting. One day at a time and keep reviewing what you need to excel with your work. Don't let this slow you down.

  9. #58
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    Thank You, Kind Lady, That's more time than i could've handled, Your have a strong will.

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