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Thread: Advice for cleaning when people are perpetually at home

  1. #1
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Advice for cleaning when people are perpetually at home

    I am right around the bend, well almost. I like to clean in solitude. When my husband was at work that was easy. He was asleep and unconscious by 9 to be up at 5:30 AM to go to work. Now he is perpetually HERE. He does make food and wash clothes and I do the cleaning. However, I canít clean while he is all over the place messing up behind me as I go. And he watches TV until last 11 PM now. I canít seem to get anything finished to my satisfaction. I am ready to go crazy .

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    Ugh I am sorry! I hate to suggest this but for now you just have to tell yourself dirt is inert and lower your standards a tad. Can you change your cleaning routine at all -I'm sure you thought of that.

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    Silver Member BecxyRex's Avatar
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    I feel ya! I love a tidy space, but with two people (one of them a 3 year old) at home 24/7 it just isnít possible. I try to just clean up after myself as much as I can, he does the same, and on the weekend, or after work on Friday, I try to do a deeper clean of the house. Usually this works fairly well, since we have 2 stories and he takes our daughter upstairs to play while I go Wild downstairs, and then heíll take her down, and I finish the upstairs. Sometimes heíll take her outside in the yard for a bit to give me some time. I have accepted that a place that is lived in every minute of the day wonít look as pristine as an IKEA catalog (even if Iíd love it to be haha). I feel much more productive when itís clean though, so maintaining a once a week scrubbing of the house is important to me. Iím not sure if this could work for you. Maybe let him know on Saturday youíd like to do that and he can either help out or just be a bit more mindful of not leaving dirty plates on the table while youíre doing that?

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    Let's get real here. Stop being so dramatic when there are worse problems in life. Just be grateful to be well and safe. A little dirt never hurt anyone. Just do the best you can and don't waste your energy on such trivial things.

    Remember, that we are all facing challenges, so you've got a lot of company.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    Let's get real here. Stop being so dramatic when there are worse problems in life. Just be grateful to be well and safe. A little dirt never hurt anyone. Just do the best you can and don't waste your energy on such trivial things.

    Remember, that we are all facing challenges, so you've got a lot of company.
    Yup , there are worse problems but an untidy space builds my anxiety. Get it?

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Ugh I am sorry! I hate to suggest this but for now you just have to tell yourself dirt is inert and lower your standards a tad. Can you change your cleaning routine at all -I'm sure you thought of that.
    I will probably have to lower my standards. He is maybe going back to work in June.

    It just builds anxiety when I am constantly picking up mess all over .

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BecxyRex
    I feel ya! I love a tidy space, but with two people (one of them a 3 year old) at home 24/7 it just isnít possible. I try to just clean up after myself as much as I can, he does the same, and on the weekend, or after work on Friday, I try to do a deeper clean of the house. Usually this works fairly well, since we have 2 stories and he takes our daughter upstairs to play while I go Wild downstairs, and then heíll take her down, and I finish the upstairs. Sometimes heíll take her outside in the yard for a bit to give me some time. I have accepted that a place that is lived in every minute of the day wonít look as pristine as an IKEA catalog (even if Iíd love it to be haha). I feel much more productive when itís clean though, so maintaining a once a week scrubbing of the house is important to me. Iím not sure if this could work for you. Maybe let him know on Saturday youíd like to do that and he can either help out or just be a bit more mindful of not leaving dirty plates on the table while youíre doing that?
    Maybe I could get him to go watch TV in our room so he can leave me to the main level to clean it. My husband has really severe ADHD so he can get very scattered and leave things around as he goes. It is worse now that he is home 24/7.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I mean is dude walking behind you knocking things off shelves right after you put the cups back on them? I've got PTSD and am a pretty hardcore introvert, so there's a lot that sucks about constant stair noises, overall just feeling a constant presence around, sporadic yelling at the cats out of nowhere, etc. I likewise do the cleaning around the house (I'm the cook as well). If I want a solid period of time just to catch up around the house or to cook without intrusion, I offer a good snack or small meal for her to relax with and play / watch her favorite video game or show. Playing to her interests that get her out of the way has been a pretty good strategy, and fortunately one that benefits us both without resentment.

  10. #9
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    I have no advice but I know your frustration.

    My dwelling looks like hoarders central right now due to Corona and I've just had to deal with it. Maybe ask them to go into another room while you get your cleaning groove on.

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Maybe I could get him to go watch TV in our room so he can leave me to the main level to clean it. My husband has really severe ADHD so he can get very scattered and leave things around as he goes. It is worse now that he is home 24/7.
    Yes, that's a good idea! I don't agree with taking the approach that it's not important because people are sick and/or unemployed. I get it. I get that it makes you anxious - my husband's clutter sometimes makes me anxious and I cannot clean it up -he won't let me. And no I'm not going to make myself think at that moment "it could be worse, we're healthy, right?" Perspective has its place and I'm tired of being told my feelings aren't valid -meaning, tired of reading on Facebook that if I have a job and am healthy how dare I even think about how desperate I am to have my child back in school so I can get some breathing room like I'm used to -and yes I feel safe if i want to vent about that on the thread you started -no I would never post about that on Facebook in response to someone feeling down because she or a family member is ill or unemployed. It's all a balance and I get why you are feeling anxious.

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