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Thread: Thinking of past orgasm during a current session with your SO?

  1. #1

    Thinking of past orgasm during a current session with your SO?

    A few days ago I was going down on my GF and afterwards she kept saying sorry and acting weird... only to confess that she was thinking of someone else.. well thatís what it initially came out but she says she didnít know how to explain it on the spot what it really was.

    She told me a thought of a past orgasm she had popped in her head, and that she was thinking of it to intensify her experience. She says that besides the initial thought of the context, the person, she wasnít thinking of him or what he was doing but her orgasm that time.

    She said that at the time she had gone weeks without sex and when she finally got that fix she felt loose and free and whatever else girls feel in their orgasm. Weeks of it pent up released at once.

    She says that she wasnít thinking of the other guy and that honestly it probably wasnít anything special that caused her to feel like that in her orgasm besides the fact that she hadnít had sex for weeks. She told me cause she felt guilty because she wants to get a point of love that sheíll never have to think of a different experience to intensify her current one but it happened. Said She was still thinking of me, looking at me, and I was just adding to that feeling.

    I kind of understand.. I try to picture it and could see how she could think of the afterwards physical feeling of something without thinking of the other person, but then sometimes I donít quite see it or get bothered that it ultimately it was someone else that in a way gave her that experience.

    Of course I donít quite understand the female orgasm. I donít think I could do the same for given that a male orgasm is shorter and more of a burst than feeling... so iím asking you guys... does that make sense? Is that a red flag?

    For the most part Iíve made peace with it because sheís very honest person, sometimes too much, and as tasteful as it was I can totally see her being the type of person to feel guilty just over the fact that it was from a different context but I figured Iíd ask here for a change of perspectives from people who are more likely to understand.

    In summary GF thought of a pst orgasm, the afterwards feeling of loose and freenesss, to feel it when I was going down on her. Claims not thinking of the other person just that feeling of satisfaction of ending a dry spell orgasm. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Ye olde stereotype is that men watch porn and women read about it, aka erotic romance novels. Point being that for women, that big O can be quite cerebral so to speak.

    Basically, thinking or imagining whatever just makes her human and normal. Nothing to worry about. That said, she needs to grow an adult filter on that. Some things do really need to stay in her head. Like a child eventually learns not to blurt out "omg you are sooo fat.", your gf needs to learn not to discuss what's running through her imagination to enhance the O and to accept that it's normal. Nothing to be weird or guilty about.

    You might want to gently tell her that it's fine and normal, but you'd rather not hear about it, especially in that kind of detail. Probably best done when you are not in the middle of things, but rather when you can just sit and talk calmly about it.

  3. #3
    But you do think itís possible to separate the feeling of an orgasm and afterwards satisfaction from the person who gave it to you?

    You can recreate that feeling in your body with someone else while not thinking of that someone else?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skittles4all
    But you do think itís possible to separate the feeling of an orgasm and afterwards satisfaction from the person who gave it to you?

    You can recreate that feeling in your body with someone else while not thinking of that someone else?
    Sounds like she was recreating the feeling, not the person as such or even that particular event. Recreating is the wrong term, I think something you were doing triggered that awesome feeling. As odd as this may seem, it's kind of a compliment to you in that whatever you were doing was so great, it reminded her of a particularly good O. Kudos to you really. I know it's weird and probably doesn't make sense to you. One of those just say "thank you" and move on even if you don't quite get the compliment and leaves you scratching your head a bit.

    Still, I think you need to tell your gf to grow a filter on that. There are some things that really shouldn't be talked about. There is such a thing as TMI and she crossed waaaaaaay over that line.

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  6. #5
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    Hmmm questionable! I think its considerate and wise not to mention past sexual highs or lows with your current partner. If there's a certain way you like something done or enjoy doing something particular then by all means do discuss it. Naturally when a partner does decide to divulge details of previous experiences/partners it can potencially add to ones fears and concerns as to whether or not they are doing it right.
    After a lovely session of making love to a woman once, I went downstairs afterwards to make us a cup of tea...I took it up to her and led back down and she said "Yea was thinking my ex was hung like a horse"
    "Oh many thanks, I really wanted to know that" says me.
    You get the picture though, something's are best kept to yourself.

  7. #6
    Yeah, she said so herself it was the feeling not the person and she didnít know why it popped in her head only that it helped the current situation. So yeah, not really a compliment but also thankfully not really thinking of someone else.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by skittles4all
    She says that she wasnít thinking of the other guy and... she hadnít had sex for weeks.
    She ended things with one guy and ended up in bed with you, within the space of a few weeks and in the middle of a pandemic? Wow. She's thinking of the sex she had with him and tells you so - are you sure you're not the rebound?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long have you been dating? Is she young/inexperienced? Fantasizing during sex/to get to orgasm is not strange at all. How well do you you know her? Is she usually lacking discretion or given to TMI?

    What is strange is the poor decision to tell you this. That is the only 'red flag'.
    Originally Posted by skittles4all
    A few days ago I was going down on my GF and afterwards she kept saying sorry and acting weird... only to confess that she was thinking of someone else.
    She said that at the time she had gone weeks without sex. Weeks of it pent up released at once. Is that a red flag?

  10. #9
    No no... this was a random hookup weeks before she ever even met me and that was 4 months ago.

  11. #10
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    How long have you been dating? Is she young/inexperienced? Fantasizing during sex/to get to orgasm is not strange at all. How well do you you know her? Is she usually lacking discretion or given to TMI?

    What is strange is the poor decision to tell you this. That is the only 'red flag'.
    Weíve been dating for 3 months. Sheís 19 so itís not like she shouldnít know thereís such things as TMI but I guess she always open mouth and will say what sheís thinking. I usually take my time to process what I want to say and in the best way to say it and sheíll say whatever is on her head instantly. So it makes it easier to believe.

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