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Thread: Thinking of past orgasm during a current session with your SO?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I'd just toss the question altogether. People can still think their ex is hot and appreciate a past sexual experience with that person while loving their partner and not longing for said ex. My wife and I have very good sexual chemistry. But if I'm completely honest (and it's nothing I'd ever have any reason to mention over dinner), as much as I greatly appreciate our sex life, there have been a couple ONS's and "Miss Right-for-Nows" who let's just say earned their permanent place in ye ol' spank bank. It's definitely not a regular occurrence, but there have been a few times in the 6 or so years we've been together where I might be tired or whatever and had to dip into it to mix in some novelty and push through the moment. But at the end of the day, there's a reason I'm with who I'm with and I'm not with them.

    And FWIW, I can only assume the same for my wife. Be it something she'd seen in porn or her own past really hot experience, I don't have illusions that there's never been a day she perhaps was having a harder time finishing and helped herself to some added imagery. I'd of course greatly appreciate her not making a note of it, but it is what it is. Don't know how old you are, but I'd be very surprised if you never get through a long-term relationship never having done so yourself. If it's something you find yourself notably often enough having to do, that's when it's time to reevaluate.

    In any case, honesty isn't an excuse for diarrhea of the mouth. Just vomiting the fact she was thinking about an orgasm with someone else is next-level cringe, and really kind of a red flag if these episodes of "too much honesty" are a trend. I'd have a hard time respecting someone I had to do so with, but sounds like you might have to sit her down and let her know you appreciate she's got a sexual history but you're really only concerned with her current. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skittles4all
    Weíve been dating for 3 months. Sheís 19 so itís not like she shouldnít know thereís such things as TMI but I guess she always open mouth and will say what sheís thinking. I usually take my time to process what I want to say and in the best way to say it and sheíll say whatever is on her head instantly. So it makes it easier to believe.
    She is only 19? That explains the zero filter...lol...sorry I'm laughing a bit, but this is all so typical, especially for her age. I kind of thought she must be very early 20's soo...yeah. Normal. That said, do please tell her to learn to filter better. We can't grow in a vacuum and she needs to know that was TMI.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    What goes on in ones head is nobody's business. Everyone at one time or another will use some memory or fantasy to reach their peak. Don't ask, and she won't tell. Maybe things are getting a little boring in the bedroom....get some toys to get things hot again.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Yes, communicate and be blunt. Tell her something like: Fantasizing about whoever or whatever is nothing to feel guilty about. Thing is, I'd like you to keep any of that info to yourself because it's not something I'm comfortable listening to.

    IMO, when you're thinking of dating someone longterm, it's important to learn in general what their dating history is, but if they start going into details about their sexual encounters or start retelling about all their fights or good times, it's okay and smart to shut them down and let them know it's a subject that's not interesting to you. Also, never feel obligated to answer questions about your private past if it won't serve the relationship. Such as, when I've been asked if I've ever done a particular act with another guy. My response was: I don't speak about things from my past about that. If you're something you'd like to try, let me know. Because who wants to picture their partner doing stuff with another that's been put into your brain in detail?

    If someone keeps up the negative behavior after you've already had a discussion, that's when I'd bail.

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  6. #15
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    Oh yuck, TMI. You need tell her to not share that much.

    It is not a way to make the two of you bond better as a couple.

  7. #16
    Yes! A filter is important sometimes. Honesty is usually great though ;)

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