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Thread: Wandering eye

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Jessie29
    I have noticed other couples as well and guys in relationships seldom behave this way. You notice a stranger 2-3 times but 8 to 10 and that too with attempts to make an eye contact creates doubt.
    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Jealous is poisoning your brain.
    That is body language and non verbal communication that often goes unnoticed. once I mentioned it while we were talking and he started it from then. There were also several other things that peaked our interest in each other but sending non verbal cues were the beginning of it.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Jessie29
    I have noticed other couples as well and guys in relationships seldom behave this way. You notice a stranger 2-3 times but 8 to 10 and that too with attempts to make an eye contact creates doubt.
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm kind of wondering how him pointing his feet toward you made you like him.

    I don't even notice if a man is pointing his feet toward me, let alone deciding I like a man because he did that.
    That is body language and non verbal communication that often goes unnoticed. once I mentioned it while we were talking and he started it from then. There were also several other things that peaked our interest in each other but sending non verbal cues were the beginning of it.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jessie29
    I have noticed other couples as well and guys in relationships seldom behave this way. You notice a stranger 2-3 times but 8 to 10 and that too with attempts to make an eye contact creates doubt
    wow you are spending an usual amount of time analyzing things....ok then video tape him doing it if you want to make your point or have another person observe without any influence from you. If they don't see anything out of the ordinary it might be tough to prove your case.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    What if everything you're calling "non verbal cues" is just a person being a person? Sure, we will find some people more compelling and seductive than others, but that's kind of just pheromonal juju, not a call and response to "cues" specifically tailored to lure you and others in.

    Similarly, we will find being with some people more secure feeling than others—and, ideally, we choose to be in committed relationships with those who trigger far more security than insecurity. I can't help but get the impression here that those early "cues," seductive as you may have found them, did not also come with a feeling a security, hence you're now feeling that he is exerting his black magic on others.

    Maybe he's just being himself? It's okay to not be okay with that.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, but I can't imagine falling into some man's arms because he pointed his feet toward me.

    Are you saying that since you told him about "non-verbal cues" he is deliberating pointing his feet toward women you think he finds attractive in the hopes they will pursue him?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, it seems the bigger problem is that you are just playing house until he goes back to his country? Are you hoping he stays, or you get married? It sounds like you are wasting your time playing housewife, unless it is mutually beneficial. For example roommates with benefits who share costs, chores etc.

    If the relationship is not going anywhere why not move out and date local men who see a future with you not just "passing time"? Reading the tea leaves about whether he is flirting or not is only a symptom of greater dissatisfaction with the level of commitment.
    Originally Posted by Jessie29
    I sometimes think that he is just passing his time with me and since he is away from his country and does not have any support from anyone, he wants me to stay with him until his studies are completed. There are a lot of things like cooking meals, taking care of him when he is tired, helping him in studies.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Jessie29
    I have noticed other couples as well and guys in relationships seldom behave this way. You notice a stranger 2-3 times but 8 to 10 and that too with attempts to make an eye contact creates doubt.
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    What if everything you're calling "non verbal cues" is just a person being a person? Sure, we will find some people more compelling and seductive than others, but that's kind of just pheromonal juju, not a call and response to "cues" specifically tailored to lure you and others in.

    Similarly, we will find being with some people more secure feeling than others—and, ideally, we choose to be in committed relationships with those who trigger far more security than insecurity. I can't help but get the impression here that those early "cues," seductive as you may have found them, did not also come with a feeling a security, hence you're now feeling that he is exerting his black magic on others.

    Maybe he's just being himself? It's okay to not be okay with that.
    Lol. Black magic. I am just trying to figure out that this behaviour is normal him and not to be bothered about or should I link it with his fresh search for someone better? since he is not adept at flirting with words and can use alternatives to gauge whether someone else is also interested in him or not.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Living together can get boring and routine and in your case feel like it's just playing house...for the time being. It sounds like the spark has left your relationship and therefore you believe he is on the hunt for greener pastures? Why not either end things if he is not staying in your country, or try to rebuild the romance?
    Originally Posted by Jessie29
    should I link it with his fresh search for someone better?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Only you can decide if it’s too bothersome or not. Not us. Not him. No judge, no jury. There’s not really a right or wrong answer, but just a factual one.

    And the facts here? Well, to my eyes they add up to you being quite certain he is searching for someone “better” than he is being happy with you. How long have you felt that way? A few weeks? A few months? The whole time, going back to his Instagram habits?

    Guess I’m just trying here to get you thinking about yourself, and your own agency, so there isn’t this hyper-obsession with him. Maybe he’s shady and restless. Maybe he’s just kind of outdoing. Flipping that coin, I don’t think, is going to be what brings you comfort.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You can't change him. He is who he is. He has a roving eye. Face it, he is not a moral man, he's dishonorable, doesn't treat you with dignity and respect. He lacks integrity.

    He gives women surreptitious glances and engages in gaslighting you. Google "gaslighting." Gaslighting is psychological warfare. Gaslighters manipulate conversations, deflect blame and try to change your perception of the facts while often labeling YOU the crazy, mentally ill one. It's quite the head trip and mind games they play on you. They're a sneaky, nasty, ugly lot. NEVER fall into their tricky trap.

    What should you do? You need to DUMP HIM. He's a loser.

    In the future, be with a gentleman who guards his eyes. You'll appreciate and respect his honorable qualities because it's a reflection of his mind, brain and heart. Also, remember that love and respect is whenever you're not with him and you can trust him unequivocally.

    Don't confront him because he won't change for you. Either accept and tolerate him as he is or exit the relationship and be with a man who knows how to treat you and others with respect, honor and integrity.

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