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Thread: Preoccupation with body image

  1. #1
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Preoccupation with body image

    Hi everyone, I need to talk to you guys about how I've been feeling about myself recently. I've noticed I became self-insecure about my body and I try to eat less/watch what I'm eating. I am not fat but I am not skinny either, I'd say I have a curvy body, I don't know. I feel like I should lose some weight, I see my family once or twice per year (I live in another country), and they sometimes comment on my body, and say I gained weight. While I appreciate their honesty/concern, these remarks made me self-conscious, and lately I've noticed I am happy if I eat less or I just wish I could stop eating to lose weight. I don't want this to become an eating disorder, but at the same time I don't want to be labeled as the fat one. I don't know if this makes sense I just needed to get this off my chest.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Does your family usually tease you about this? Why is the family dynamic like that? You are probably fine if your BMI is in the healthy range so this is more about family slights than weight/eating.

    Next time they comment simply look them in the face and say something equally inane such as "did you know sloths are immune to corona?" 🦥😋
    Originally Posted by kim42
    I see my family once or twice per year (I live in another country), and they sometimes comment on my body, and say I gained weight. I don't want to be labeled as the fat one

  3. #3
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Does your family usually tease you about this? Why is the family dynamic like that? You are probably fine if your BMI is in the healthy range so this is more about family slights than weight/eating.

    Next time they comment simply look them in the face and say something equally inane such as "did you know sloths are immune to corona?" 🦥😋
    Yes, they like to tease me. I know that if my mum says it, she means well, like she tells me to watch my weight because most women in family are not exactly skinny, some are even overweight. My BMI is fine.
    I like jogging and swimming, but that's about it as far as sports. I'd like to be more active, I know it's important when you have an office job. I just want to do it because it makes me happy, not because I have to. I love the sloth comment 😊

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    I don't know why people especially family members perceive it to be ok to comment on your weight and appearance. Just down right rude really. Perhaps they do it just because they 'can' sort of keeping you down and in your place. Give them a short sharp mouthful next time....works for me everytime.

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    Originally Posted by kim42
    Yes, they like to tease me. I know that if my mum says it, she means well, like she tells me to watch my weight because most women in family are not exactly skinny, some are even overweight. My BMI is fine.
    I like jogging and swimming, but that's about it as far as sports. I'd like to be more active, I know it's important when you have an office job. I just want to do it because it makes me happy, not because I have to. I love the sloth comment 😊
    30-45 minutes of jogging everyday is enough exercise. What you need is to monitor what you eat. Portion control is the key. People make it more difficult than it is. The golden rule: calories in/calories out. Nothing else. Don't change your diet if you like what you eat. Just eat 100-150 calories less than you are eating now. Does it take some discipline to do that? Yes of course. See, I just saved you 50 euros on personal trainer lol :)
    Last edited by dias; 05-02-2020 at 06:00 PM.

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    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dias
    45 minutes of jogging everyday is enough exercise. What you need is to monitor what you eat. Portion control is the key. People make it more difficult than it is. The golden rule: calories in/calories out. Nothing else. Don't change your diet if you like what you eat. Just eat 100-150 calories less than you are eating now. Does it take some discipline to do that? Yes of course. See, I just saved you 50 euros on personal trainer lol :)
    Thank you for the advice:) I don't eat a lot, my portion sizes are pretty small compared to others, it's true I like pizza and pasta so not the healthiest meals but I also like veggies and fruits :) I thought my body was okay but these remarks just made me insecure 😔

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    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You need to speak up to your family. Tell them that you don't wish to hear their inconsiderate comments regarding your weight and that you will greatly appreciate them if they refrain from their criticisms or "observations" regarding your appearance in a negative way. However, be prepared for their gaslighting you. (Google "gaslighting.") They may deflect and become defensive by telling you that you are "overly sensitive." They will tell you that they "mean well" when it's really either a backhanded compliment in the best case scenarios or they're "trying to help you" by giving you hints that you look fat. Any of those remarks are equally unkind and boorish behaviors. Speaking up is what you need to get off your chest. You need to teach some ignorant people how to behave like decent human beings.

    As for losing weight, often times it helps not to focus on body image. Instead, concentrate on heart, brain, overall health and how you feel. You will notice that when you are strict with diet and exercise, you will definitely feel better mentally and physically which will boost your self confidence.

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    I use My Fitness Pal app and I went from diabetic to non diabetic.

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    Originally Posted by kim42
    Thank you for the advice:) I don't eat a lot, my portion sizes are pretty small compared to others, it's true I like pizza and pasta so not the healthiest meals but I also like veggies and fruits :) I thought my body was okay but these remarks just made me insecure 😔
    No one can make you insecure. That's on you. So tell them you'd prefer no comments on your weight because you feel self--conscious about those comments. If they rudely continue I'd repeat it one time and explain that if your wishes can't be respected you're going to spend less time with them.

    On the second part -losing some weight - I'll share some tips on what I do to maintain -but I ended up losing. I do not drink sweetened drinks including diet drinks - I find they trigger carb cravings.. I drink about 10-12 glasses of water a day plus some unsweetened sparkling and coffee with milk, no sugar. I drink about 3 of those glasses during my daily cardio workout. I do not eat between meals unless I am very hungry. If I am I will eat a few apple slices or a dried fig or a banana. No mindless eating or nibbling -and it's hard because I'm preparing at least 3 extra meals and snacks a day. I don't do the constant eating thing -even if it's carrot sticks -because I think it's healthier -for me- not to be that focused on eating/food. When I feel like having something but I'm not hungry I drink from my water bottle.
    I eat lightly at night. I try to get enough sleep because I tend to eat more when I am tired. I don't eat much at all after around 7pm or earlier.
    I do a cardio workout every day -it's power walking but I try to get my whole body involved. I also try to move my body as much as possible -additional brisk walking, cleaning that requires muscle, etc. Pre-quarrantine I walked an additional 1.5-2miles a day for commuting, errands, shopping. A little less so now.

    I was a little overweight twice in my life. Once was in the early 1990s when I was on an awful birth control pill and the second time was about 10 years ago when I was pregnant. I am in my 50s and I weigh about ten pounds less than I did before I got pregnant and I was slim. I worked out then too, regularly, but I drank a lot of diet soda, ate too many sweets between meals and ate a lot more as far as portions -including heavier restaurant meals. I love pizza, pasta, ice cream, chocolate and I deprive myself of nothing. But I do pretty strict portion control.

    Hope this is helpful!!

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    Your family shouldn't be treating you that way.

    Just to add onto what dias mentioned: From my own experience, losing weight is easier when you tweak your current eating habits instead of radically changing everything you eat (provided that someone isn't a complete unhealthy eater). I'd make a mental or physical list of what you normally eat and then tweak it to make it healthier. For example: Chocolate/cookies/desserts are my weakness so I still eat those, just less than before. I also love cappuccinos. But since there's a lot of calories in milk I often use a measuring cup to limit my milk intake. Instead of eating two slices of toast every day with sugar-free peanut butter for breakfast, I alternate it with sugar-free oatmeal (no milk). Some packaged food contains added sugar or sweeteners, so checking out the ingredients is worth it. Small tweaks like that make a huge difference!

    This covid-19 has really motivated me to eat healthier. A healthy gut is a happy me. So I'm avoiding fast food. I'm not a specialist so here's an article on a gut health that you might find interesting. ([Register to see the link] )

    It's all about leading a healthier lifestyle, becoming a healthier you.

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